Post by Althaea on Jan 11, 2008 22:58:59 GMT -5
Dense Undergrowth
Involved according to appearance
Felstride – M. Wolf (Lazuli Alpha)
Halidari – F. Adol. Wolf (Lazuli)
Lykaios – M. Adol. Wolf
Summary: Going to ask her father of Lykaios can stay as a member of the pack, Hali is confronted with a painful truth that takes her a while to accept. Lyka’s membership put on hold, a delicate matter is brought up and Hali is torn between what she wants and what she should do. Felstride wants one on one time with Lykaios; will that be his first step to entry?
Scene
The evening has settled in nicely, and the soft hum of the night insects begins to rise as the moon climbs higher and higher, shining its light across the dark treetops. Felstride has taken this quiet time to emerge from the den and perform a lavish stretching ritual, and then turn his eyes to the sky above as the small pinpoints of light, the stars, begin to emerge. There is a light smile upon his muzzle as he eases back into a sit, curling his tail across his forepaws and sitting proudly and tall; like a statue guarding the entrance to a cave full of treasure. The wolf takes a slow, deep breath, feeling the still of the forest around him and scenting the crisp night air.
For the most part it has been a quiet day for this wolf and oddly enough she is alone this time around, heading back to the den after a few moments near the river. Lyka was out there somewhere in the wilds and she was expecting him to show up any moment now. The night was cool and caused Hali's fur to bristle slightly as she passed into the undergrowth. Her mind a bit side-tracked she doesn't notice the formation of her father sitting just outside the den just yet till she shifts her gaze up from the ground. Catching sight of him, he was just the wolf she was looking for and in such takes little time approaching.
As it grows later in the day, Lykaios makes his way back to what has become more familiar territory from the north. The young male is quiet, calm, but in no less of a good mood that he was the day before, despite his quiet nature. Lyk is paying close attention to his surroundings, not allowing thoughts to pull his attention away from where it should be, which attributes to his relaxed mood. It's nice to not have constant unpleasant thoughts fighting for attention for once.
Because she's not paying too much attention to what she's doing, Felstride hears his daughter's approach long before he sees her, and an ear flicks to the side, followed closely by his eyes. The wolf waits silently, though his tail begins the greeting with a gentle series of taps on the ground. When she looks up, the alpha male smiles gently, and welcomes his daughter with a light chuff. He has many things on his mind at present, but he's still glad to see his daughter. An ear flits back to the den entrance for a moment, but hearing nothing but silence from it, they return front and center. "Good evening, Halidari," Felstride churrs quietly.
Halidari may not have been paying to close attention at first, but she knew what was out there or at least behind her. Meeting up with her father, Hali’s tail waves behind her glad to see him. "Evening father, how are things?" is her question at hand; saving the other for when the time really comes. Reaching him, Hali takes a quick look around before addressing the alpha with a nuzzle. She hopes nothing has been amiss during her short absence.
Lykaios is not too far behind, or rather, ahead of Hali. As a couple familiar voices reach his ears, though, he wonders if he ought to be intruding or leaving them to spend some time together. It doesn't take him long to decide to continue to approach, as he can at least say hi to Hali and the Lazuli alpha male. After a short time, he's within visual and certainly auditory range as he continues walking, making sure to keep a respectful breadth from the den and approach from a position where he's visible, in case he should not be so readily identifiable in this area that is busy with the scent of the wolves who travel around here.
The large male returns his daughter's nuzzle warmly and smiles at her, nodding gently at her question as he attempts to settle himself more comfortably in the grass. "Everything is well," he says calmly, though perhaps evasively, as many of the items on his mind aren't particularly open for discussion with anyone, "and you?" he concludes with a perk of his brow. While waiting, Felstride lifts his head as the sounds from the undergrowth suggest yet another visitor, and the quiet of the forest gives away the approacher's position quickly. The wolf blinks, scenting the air and squinting in the near-faded light, eventually recognizing the young male and gives a barely perceptible nod his way.
Speaking of keeping a distance, Hali was hoping that Lykaios wouldn't have to do that anymore, least not in the fashion that a rogue would keep. That was next on her list, but first to give response to the good news of relative peace here. "That is good to hear. Things are well on my end as well… however," she pauses turning her ears back to the sound around them in the brush. Noting the nod from her father, Hali look back momentarily to find that Lyka has arrived, putting a smile on her muzzle. Now that he is here she can continue. "I'd like to ask something of you father, if it’s not too much." If he allowed it, what Hali was about to say was important to her and she hoped he'd accept it.
Lykaios is, thankfully, recognized, and he returns Felstride's slight nod before venturing any closer to Hali and the alpha male of this pack. Perking his ears, he has some idea of what Hali is about to ask, and he remains quiet as he comes to a rest beside her. Despite what he told Halidari, and what he told himself, there is some worry in him. It is really very easy to tell oneself that there is nothing to be concerned about. It is much more difficult, however, to actually not be concerned. Lyk does his best to hide it, though, and he succeeds fairly well.
The larger male twists an ear in Lykaois' direction, keeping tabs on the adolescent though he is far from concerned that the boy will try to do him, or Halidari, any harm. In fact, Felstride's outward demeanor is quite relaxed though he manages to continue to project a kind of passive dominance. Halidari's voice brings his eyes back to her, though they continue to linger on Lykaois as he settles behind his daughter, and the wolf offers a slight nod in response. He takes a slow breath, running a few different things through his mind and guessing about what might happen, before he opens his maw and churrs, "Of course, you may ask, Halidari." Felstride smiles very slightly, tail tapping against the ground.
If there was any worry coming from Lyka is was surely to pass along to Hali as well. She might not of shown much worry when she offered a place beside her in the Lazuli the other day, but it was there and shows subtle sighs this very moment. Keeping her ears back till Lykaios settles beside her, she waits a while longer before drawing her full attention back to her father. Gaining Fel's permission, how to begin; taking a breath Hali says, "This may be somewhat sudden, but I was wondering if it would be alright if Lykaois joined us." Looking at her father with soft eyes she adds half a smile to her words. "As one of the pack." It was unlikely that her father would turn down the one his daughter loved from the pack, but there was always that shocking 'no' that stood between relief and disappointment. Hali hoped for relief.
Lykaios brushes against Hali slightly. He remains quiet as, and even after, she speaks, giving her father a chance to respond. His expression shows no surprise at Hali asking her father if he can join the pack. He knew this was coming, had even wondered if he shouldn't be the one to ask, since /he/ is the one whose status is in question here. To him, though, that potential 'no' does not seem like such a shocking possibility, and as he waits, quiet and maybe a little tense, during the brief moments of security, he reminds himself that his future does not rest on this, that there are other options, and that he has done nothing to risk being exiled from these lands, even if he is not accepted among the pack members.
Felstride's ears gently fold back for a moment when Halidari speaks, but he flicks them forward again and remains still. The wolf considers, with very little reflecting across his face, before his bright eyes trail across Halidari's shoulder to the young male behind her, settling on his smaller frame with the same kind of calm consideration that he greets most others with. When Lykaois says nothing, Felstride lifts his head and remains in stoic silence for just a little longer, considering. Eventually he begins to speak, his attention focused on the dark forest around them. "I had thought you would ask me this soon," he murmurs, "though not as soon as this. There are many things I must consider, Halidari, before I give you your answer. Not only my daughter's happiness, but my family's happiness and safety, too. Truly, it is not my decision to make. It is the packs." Fel' pauses then, returning his full gaze upon the young wolves before him. "I know that you have been having trouble with some of the pack. I know that you have been out and about, away from your family, but I do not blame you for that whereas others might. But your family, not just your father, must accept Lykaois into our family, and perhaps he has not been here long enough to do so. I know what his scent smells like, but I do not know who this wolf is as a being. I know only a name and a scent. Others know fewer still. I know that your mother would be angry with me if I were to let him near your siblings. I will not take that risk." This last is said with some humor behind his mask of seriousness, but not enough to lighten his mood. "I cannot give you an answer, because I do not think I can give you the answer you seek by myself."
Halidari arches her back a little as Lyka brushes against her. Should he of been the one that asked, perhaps, but Hali felt it to be necessary that she take the honor of doing such; it being her idea after all and if he was turned down it would be her fault for asking so soon. Taking another breath she awaited the answer and yet she is not given one that would guarantee anything. She knew something like this would be said; there were too many things to go through before acceptance would be shown. Hali had given much thought to this, and now she's not sure what to do. Lyka hasn't been here long enough and no one knew him like she did - though whose fault was that. The pack was never around to be given the chance and if they were, there was the lack of faith in her for the actions she’s posed upon the pack. Hali looks to the ground in a sort of disappointment. "It is not easy. Life has been a struggle since day one, and it seems that not even I can change that about it." Closing her eyes her throat ached as she swallowed. "To leave was a mistake; Mia has proven that much to me. To return with one who no one will effortlessly get to know... was that another mistake." Looking up, Hali’s eyes are glossened, "How can I rely on the pack to make that decision when its trust in me has been drawn thin. A family is supposed to be close nit but I can't help but get the feeling there are pieces sewn tighter than others." Upset? Yes, but not necessarily over the topic addressed.
Lykaios noses against Hali as she expresses what she does at Felstride's answer. For Lyk's part, he takes that answer well, his preparation for it having worked. As he thought, it is not as though his conditional welcome here has been revoked. He is just not being welcomed as a part of the pack yet. After brushing his nose against Hali, Lyk looks to Felstride, speaking for the first time since he arrived in the area. "I understand your position, sir. I have done what I can to display my intentions to those of your pack that I have met, but I am not impatient. I can wait." Lyk? Not impatient? Wait, when did this happen? He has, however, realized, that certain actions he took, whether he was ill when he acted or not, may permanently destroy his acceptance into Hali's pack. He has no right to be upset that that very thing has happened, especially since he has not, as of yet, been denied acceptance. He is merely on hold.
Supressing a sigh, Felstride looks away from Halidari as she speaks and goes back to the darkness of the forest, paying visible attention to nothing in particular. He's listening, but his face seems a little distant, concerned. Lykaois' voice elicits a blink, but that's about it. Silence reigns for sometime before he takes another deep breath and begins again. "I do not doubt that what you have gone through has been hard, but it has been equally so for others. My daughter has all but left and grown up, and Larkspur, too. To come back after strained absences and bring home your friends. I have been tolerant because you are my daughter." Pause. "I admit Miakoda had no right to speak to you as such, and I have spoken with her about it. But at the same time you had no right to challenge her the way that you did. If you wish to live your life away from your family, then they will let you go. If you insist on expecting your family to wrap themselves around your life, there will be resistance and you have encountered such already." Sigh. "I have tried very hard to make you happy, Halidari, as well as the pack as a unit. Admittedly, I am not the wolf for the job, perhaps, and I have failed everyone in that. This... tension... I fear, is the result of my failure."
There were many things to keep in mind about all this. Sure Lyka wasn't beeing turned down, just put on hold and he was still able to stay, but it was the way Felstride put it that brings Hali to near tears. Gaining what she sot from the pack would be a long process, maybe not for Lyka but for her. She wanted the packs acceptance on Lykaios, and she also wanted its acceptance for herself, on who she was. Turning her ears up to her father, Hali breaths heavy, "You put the blame upon yourself as if it were solely your fault. As if it were solely your responsibility to make sure those here are cared for, in good health... even loved." Why did her father always seem to throw everything on his shoulders? "It is no single persons own fault for what happens; the good, the bad, there all influenced by those inside that said unit." Her tone not broken by how she feels, it is solid. "As for what happened between Miakoda and me... I have given my apologies. Even though I still feel that her actions were rash and full of assumptions." She turns to look someplace else. "To think that I would risk the lives of those younger than I..." Hali has said that she would never. "I may not be the smartest, nor may I see the things others do as well as them, but never have I asked to have anyone wrap themselves around my life. I simply ask that it be shared evenly across those who lack it." She had left to find what her family was unable to give and now that she is back, it’s like, in her eyes, nothing has changed.
Lykaios has nothing left to say. What he had said earlier appeared to have no bearing on the conversation that remains between Hali and her father, and he has not been around to know of past experiences they mention. He can only continue to take the consequences of those experiences as he runs into them in stride until the day he actually has some idea of what is happening or until he is accepted. For now, he simply remains here, providing nonverbal support to Hali in the way of brushing against her to make his continued presence more clearly known and listening to both her and her father speak, though perhaps he has no place listening in on this private conversation.
"I have tried to provide for you to give you what you needed, but you found it outside and away from your family. Perhaps that is where you life leads you. Perhaps this is why there have been so many...” The wolf stops, at a loss for a proper word, before he shakes his head and continues. "You are happy with Lykaois. I can see that. You are unhappy here. I can see that, as well." Felstride pauses again, tearing his attention away from the forest with an unwavering gaze back to his daughter, but behind those steady eyes are shreds of tears that he is waging war against. "I have given you what I can, done for you what I can, but it has not been enough to appease my pack mates as well as my daughters. You are old enough to go about into the forest, deeper than our territory; to the mountains like your sister, if you wished. When you were young that was all you wanted. It is your life, Halidari. Perhaps it is time you take it where you paws wish it to go?" The last is said with encouragement, but a hint of sadness and failure rests behind his voice. Lykaois' eyes are meant, briefly, and behind that look is a heart to heart plea: take care of my daughter where I cannot.
As a pup, the attention was divided; if the desire to disappear into the wilds was ever there, it was to find peace brought by the attention that stood within conflict. Hali stayed, however, no matter how alone she felt. Shaking her head to her father, Hali glances to him, "The day I told you that I was going to stay, I meant it. The challenges here may make it hard, but that's life." pauses "What’s life without difficulties, right. I thought you of all would know that life’s not worth living it there’s nothing to thrive for." To go were her paws take her, that is not what she wants; her heart tells her to stay and that’s what she's going to do. "Lark choose the mountains because it’s what she knew, I choose the forest because it what’s I've come to know, but I could never leave what I was born into. I brought what I loved from the forest so that I could remain here; if waiting longer means the chance to having them stay then I'm willing to wait." It may disappoint her, but she can't have everything when she wants it.
It would appear that everyone Lykaios meets expects him to take care of Halidari, a task he has thus far done his best to accomplish and which he continues to do as well as he can. To that end, he intends primarily to remain by her when she needs him most, and he knows she wants to be here with her family. It is why he has done his best to remain on good footing with them, despite the aggression he has occasionally received. He is confident that he will eventually be accepted as having no ill intentions towards any of the Lazuli pack. It will only take time. Speaking once again, almost as much to Felstride as to Hali, he says, "You don't have to choose, Hali. Your other pack mates will get to know me eventually. Until then, I can wait as well as you can." What seemed, originally, to be Hali's presence here to lessen the blow should Lyk not be accepted, now seems to have flipped around, proof enough of his willingness to provide what he can to Hali and the other members of her pack, whether he is one of them or not.
The alpha male tips his ears in Lykaois' direction, blinking his dark amber eyes slowly a few times as the boy speaks, and he offers a barely perceptible nod to both. Silent for sometime afterward, the wolf looks to both in front of him with a steady seriousness, though what he's actually thinking is rather closely guarded and hidden away. Behind him, he ticks off his tail in time with the night's insects, before, for the first time tonight, addressing Lykaois directly. "I think, perhaps, I should get to know you myself before I ask my family to do the same. I believe that we should meet one on one, so that I may know what kind of wolf you are without my daughter's influence." That said, he glances to Halidari and offers her a smile. "Do you think that is wise?" he asks, curious.
Time, it's the one that Halidari seems to have a lot of these days, but it seemed to travel slow, so slow that she often managed to wind up getting herself in trouble, or finding things about herself that needed improvement. What she really needed was for things to fall into place, for something unexpected to happen and surprise her. Turning her ears back to Lykaios, Hali blinks; she didn't have to choose... well of course not, she wasn't going to, her mind was made up. Looking to Lyka and going to say something, nothing comes out. "..." Her father’s words come out before hers and she turns toward him. Listening to what he has to say, she nods slowly. Speak to Lyka himself... a pause comes over her; that was nothing to worry about right? Giving her father a nod, "Yes, father." she replies. What to do with her time alone when that happens... she'll find something.
All Lykaios meant is that he's not going to be upset if he isn't accepted into this pack immediately. It's not a matter of life and death, he's not going to be hurt, and he's not going to run off just because Felstride is wisely cautious. The young male keeps his mouth shut, now, and merely gives a slight nod in response to what Felstride has said, even if the question was posed to Halidari. He's rather not sure if it's something to worry about. He doesn't think so, or at least, he hopes not. The thought makes him slightly nervous all the same. After all, if Lyk is any different when Hali is not around, which, admittedly, he is, to some degree, how much of that is true for Felstride as well?
A sigh rises up from his chest, though it's less of a sad sound than a tired one. There have been many things on his plate, none of them particularly heartwarming, and it has left his soul feeling tired and his body feeling warn. Halidari is given a gentle nuzzle across her cheek before the dark wolf stands. In truth, he acts similarly no matter if he is alone or with others, and Lykaois may have little to fear from him. Felstride is more worried about how to break the news to others. He looks to the young male levelly before pointing his nose to the east. "In one moon's time, I would like to meet you by the river and we will walk, and talk. I will learn of you, and you of I." That said, he nods to both adolescents and begins to pad silently off into the darkness, to patrol but more so to think, and glances briefly back at the young wolves before him with a light, yet ghosting smile.
What else was there for Hali to do but sit there. Much like Fel, there were many things coursing through her mind as well, unable to put them into words, unsure if she ever should. How where things going to be for her now? This she wasn't sure of, but she didn't question it; not tonight anyhow. Watching her father stand and give last instructions to Lyka, nuzzle her as well, Hali's silence remains even after the alpha walks off into the night.
Whereas what is going through Lyk's mind is what he intends to say to Felstride when they meet. He has made many mistakes in the past, one of them, in particular, involving one of this pack's members, and admitting them has always been difficult for the young wolf. He has been expecting it to come back to haunt him ever since he was cured of that illness, and this may be where it does. That Halidari was willing to look past it surprised him enough. He doesn't expect that from everyone. He remains silent, as well, as Felstride gives his final instructions and then walks away, though he does, at least, nod to show that he understands.
Involved according to appearance
Felstride – M. Wolf (Lazuli Alpha)
Halidari – F. Adol. Wolf (Lazuli)
Lykaios – M. Adol. Wolf
Summary: Going to ask her father of Lykaios can stay as a member of the pack, Hali is confronted with a painful truth that takes her a while to accept. Lyka’s membership put on hold, a delicate matter is brought up and Hali is torn between what she wants and what she should do. Felstride wants one on one time with Lykaios; will that be his first step to entry?
Scene
The evening has settled in nicely, and the soft hum of the night insects begins to rise as the moon climbs higher and higher, shining its light across the dark treetops. Felstride has taken this quiet time to emerge from the den and perform a lavish stretching ritual, and then turn his eyes to the sky above as the small pinpoints of light, the stars, begin to emerge. There is a light smile upon his muzzle as he eases back into a sit, curling his tail across his forepaws and sitting proudly and tall; like a statue guarding the entrance to a cave full of treasure. The wolf takes a slow, deep breath, feeling the still of the forest around him and scenting the crisp night air.
For the most part it has been a quiet day for this wolf and oddly enough she is alone this time around, heading back to the den after a few moments near the river. Lyka was out there somewhere in the wilds and she was expecting him to show up any moment now. The night was cool and caused Hali's fur to bristle slightly as she passed into the undergrowth. Her mind a bit side-tracked she doesn't notice the formation of her father sitting just outside the den just yet till she shifts her gaze up from the ground. Catching sight of him, he was just the wolf she was looking for and in such takes little time approaching.
As it grows later in the day, Lykaios makes his way back to what has become more familiar territory from the north. The young male is quiet, calm, but in no less of a good mood that he was the day before, despite his quiet nature. Lyk is paying close attention to his surroundings, not allowing thoughts to pull his attention away from where it should be, which attributes to his relaxed mood. It's nice to not have constant unpleasant thoughts fighting for attention for once.
Because she's not paying too much attention to what she's doing, Felstride hears his daughter's approach long before he sees her, and an ear flicks to the side, followed closely by his eyes. The wolf waits silently, though his tail begins the greeting with a gentle series of taps on the ground. When she looks up, the alpha male smiles gently, and welcomes his daughter with a light chuff. He has many things on his mind at present, but he's still glad to see his daughter. An ear flits back to the den entrance for a moment, but hearing nothing but silence from it, they return front and center. "Good evening, Halidari," Felstride churrs quietly.
Halidari may not have been paying to close attention at first, but she knew what was out there or at least behind her. Meeting up with her father, Hali’s tail waves behind her glad to see him. "Evening father, how are things?" is her question at hand; saving the other for when the time really comes. Reaching him, Hali takes a quick look around before addressing the alpha with a nuzzle. She hopes nothing has been amiss during her short absence.
Lykaios is not too far behind, or rather, ahead of Hali. As a couple familiar voices reach his ears, though, he wonders if he ought to be intruding or leaving them to spend some time together. It doesn't take him long to decide to continue to approach, as he can at least say hi to Hali and the Lazuli alpha male. After a short time, he's within visual and certainly auditory range as he continues walking, making sure to keep a respectful breadth from the den and approach from a position where he's visible, in case he should not be so readily identifiable in this area that is busy with the scent of the wolves who travel around here.
The large male returns his daughter's nuzzle warmly and smiles at her, nodding gently at her question as he attempts to settle himself more comfortably in the grass. "Everything is well," he says calmly, though perhaps evasively, as many of the items on his mind aren't particularly open for discussion with anyone, "and you?" he concludes with a perk of his brow. While waiting, Felstride lifts his head as the sounds from the undergrowth suggest yet another visitor, and the quiet of the forest gives away the approacher's position quickly. The wolf blinks, scenting the air and squinting in the near-faded light, eventually recognizing the young male and gives a barely perceptible nod his way.
Speaking of keeping a distance, Hali was hoping that Lykaios wouldn't have to do that anymore, least not in the fashion that a rogue would keep. That was next on her list, but first to give response to the good news of relative peace here. "That is good to hear. Things are well on my end as well… however," she pauses turning her ears back to the sound around them in the brush. Noting the nod from her father, Hali look back momentarily to find that Lyka has arrived, putting a smile on her muzzle. Now that he is here she can continue. "I'd like to ask something of you father, if it’s not too much." If he allowed it, what Hali was about to say was important to her and she hoped he'd accept it.
Lykaios is, thankfully, recognized, and he returns Felstride's slight nod before venturing any closer to Hali and the alpha male of this pack. Perking his ears, he has some idea of what Hali is about to ask, and he remains quiet as he comes to a rest beside her. Despite what he told Halidari, and what he told himself, there is some worry in him. It is really very easy to tell oneself that there is nothing to be concerned about. It is much more difficult, however, to actually not be concerned. Lyk does his best to hide it, though, and he succeeds fairly well.
The larger male twists an ear in Lykaois' direction, keeping tabs on the adolescent though he is far from concerned that the boy will try to do him, or Halidari, any harm. In fact, Felstride's outward demeanor is quite relaxed though he manages to continue to project a kind of passive dominance. Halidari's voice brings his eyes back to her, though they continue to linger on Lykaois as he settles behind his daughter, and the wolf offers a slight nod in response. He takes a slow breath, running a few different things through his mind and guessing about what might happen, before he opens his maw and churrs, "Of course, you may ask, Halidari." Felstride smiles very slightly, tail tapping against the ground.
If there was any worry coming from Lyka is was surely to pass along to Hali as well. She might not of shown much worry when she offered a place beside her in the Lazuli the other day, but it was there and shows subtle sighs this very moment. Keeping her ears back till Lykaios settles beside her, she waits a while longer before drawing her full attention back to her father. Gaining Fel's permission, how to begin; taking a breath Hali says, "This may be somewhat sudden, but I was wondering if it would be alright if Lykaois joined us." Looking at her father with soft eyes she adds half a smile to her words. "As one of the pack." It was unlikely that her father would turn down the one his daughter loved from the pack, but there was always that shocking 'no' that stood between relief and disappointment. Hali hoped for relief.
Lykaios brushes against Hali slightly. He remains quiet as, and even after, she speaks, giving her father a chance to respond. His expression shows no surprise at Hali asking her father if he can join the pack. He knew this was coming, had even wondered if he shouldn't be the one to ask, since /he/ is the one whose status is in question here. To him, though, that potential 'no' does not seem like such a shocking possibility, and as he waits, quiet and maybe a little tense, during the brief moments of security, he reminds himself that his future does not rest on this, that there are other options, and that he has done nothing to risk being exiled from these lands, even if he is not accepted among the pack members.
Felstride's ears gently fold back for a moment when Halidari speaks, but he flicks them forward again and remains still. The wolf considers, with very little reflecting across his face, before his bright eyes trail across Halidari's shoulder to the young male behind her, settling on his smaller frame with the same kind of calm consideration that he greets most others with. When Lykaois says nothing, Felstride lifts his head and remains in stoic silence for just a little longer, considering. Eventually he begins to speak, his attention focused on the dark forest around them. "I had thought you would ask me this soon," he murmurs, "though not as soon as this. There are many things I must consider, Halidari, before I give you your answer. Not only my daughter's happiness, but my family's happiness and safety, too. Truly, it is not my decision to make. It is the packs." Fel' pauses then, returning his full gaze upon the young wolves before him. "I know that you have been having trouble with some of the pack. I know that you have been out and about, away from your family, but I do not blame you for that whereas others might. But your family, not just your father, must accept Lykaois into our family, and perhaps he has not been here long enough to do so. I know what his scent smells like, but I do not know who this wolf is as a being. I know only a name and a scent. Others know fewer still. I know that your mother would be angry with me if I were to let him near your siblings. I will not take that risk." This last is said with some humor behind his mask of seriousness, but not enough to lighten his mood. "I cannot give you an answer, because I do not think I can give you the answer you seek by myself."
Halidari arches her back a little as Lyka brushes against her. Should he of been the one that asked, perhaps, but Hali felt it to be necessary that she take the honor of doing such; it being her idea after all and if he was turned down it would be her fault for asking so soon. Taking another breath she awaited the answer and yet she is not given one that would guarantee anything. She knew something like this would be said; there were too many things to go through before acceptance would be shown. Hali had given much thought to this, and now she's not sure what to do. Lyka hasn't been here long enough and no one knew him like she did - though whose fault was that. The pack was never around to be given the chance and if they were, there was the lack of faith in her for the actions she’s posed upon the pack. Hali looks to the ground in a sort of disappointment. "It is not easy. Life has been a struggle since day one, and it seems that not even I can change that about it." Closing her eyes her throat ached as she swallowed. "To leave was a mistake; Mia has proven that much to me. To return with one who no one will effortlessly get to know... was that another mistake." Looking up, Hali’s eyes are glossened, "How can I rely on the pack to make that decision when its trust in me has been drawn thin. A family is supposed to be close nit but I can't help but get the feeling there are pieces sewn tighter than others." Upset? Yes, but not necessarily over the topic addressed.
Lykaios noses against Hali as she expresses what she does at Felstride's answer. For Lyk's part, he takes that answer well, his preparation for it having worked. As he thought, it is not as though his conditional welcome here has been revoked. He is just not being welcomed as a part of the pack yet. After brushing his nose against Hali, Lyk looks to Felstride, speaking for the first time since he arrived in the area. "I understand your position, sir. I have done what I can to display my intentions to those of your pack that I have met, but I am not impatient. I can wait." Lyk? Not impatient? Wait, when did this happen? He has, however, realized, that certain actions he took, whether he was ill when he acted or not, may permanently destroy his acceptance into Hali's pack. He has no right to be upset that that very thing has happened, especially since he has not, as of yet, been denied acceptance. He is merely on hold.
Supressing a sigh, Felstride looks away from Halidari as she speaks and goes back to the darkness of the forest, paying visible attention to nothing in particular. He's listening, but his face seems a little distant, concerned. Lykaois' voice elicits a blink, but that's about it. Silence reigns for sometime before he takes another deep breath and begins again. "I do not doubt that what you have gone through has been hard, but it has been equally so for others. My daughter has all but left and grown up, and Larkspur, too. To come back after strained absences and bring home your friends. I have been tolerant because you are my daughter." Pause. "I admit Miakoda had no right to speak to you as such, and I have spoken with her about it. But at the same time you had no right to challenge her the way that you did. If you wish to live your life away from your family, then they will let you go. If you insist on expecting your family to wrap themselves around your life, there will be resistance and you have encountered such already." Sigh. "I have tried very hard to make you happy, Halidari, as well as the pack as a unit. Admittedly, I am not the wolf for the job, perhaps, and I have failed everyone in that. This... tension... I fear, is the result of my failure."
There were many things to keep in mind about all this. Sure Lyka wasn't beeing turned down, just put on hold and he was still able to stay, but it was the way Felstride put it that brings Hali to near tears. Gaining what she sot from the pack would be a long process, maybe not for Lyka but for her. She wanted the packs acceptance on Lykaios, and she also wanted its acceptance for herself, on who she was. Turning her ears up to her father, Hali breaths heavy, "You put the blame upon yourself as if it were solely your fault. As if it were solely your responsibility to make sure those here are cared for, in good health... even loved." Why did her father always seem to throw everything on his shoulders? "It is no single persons own fault for what happens; the good, the bad, there all influenced by those inside that said unit." Her tone not broken by how she feels, it is solid. "As for what happened between Miakoda and me... I have given my apologies. Even though I still feel that her actions were rash and full of assumptions." She turns to look someplace else. "To think that I would risk the lives of those younger than I..." Hali has said that she would never. "I may not be the smartest, nor may I see the things others do as well as them, but never have I asked to have anyone wrap themselves around my life. I simply ask that it be shared evenly across those who lack it." She had left to find what her family was unable to give and now that she is back, it’s like, in her eyes, nothing has changed.
Lykaios has nothing left to say. What he had said earlier appeared to have no bearing on the conversation that remains between Hali and her father, and he has not been around to know of past experiences they mention. He can only continue to take the consequences of those experiences as he runs into them in stride until the day he actually has some idea of what is happening or until he is accepted. For now, he simply remains here, providing nonverbal support to Hali in the way of brushing against her to make his continued presence more clearly known and listening to both her and her father speak, though perhaps he has no place listening in on this private conversation.
"I have tried to provide for you to give you what you needed, but you found it outside and away from your family. Perhaps that is where you life leads you. Perhaps this is why there have been so many...” The wolf stops, at a loss for a proper word, before he shakes his head and continues. "You are happy with Lykaois. I can see that. You are unhappy here. I can see that, as well." Felstride pauses again, tearing his attention away from the forest with an unwavering gaze back to his daughter, but behind those steady eyes are shreds of tears that he is waging war against. "I have given you what I can, done for you what I can, but it has not been enough to appease my pack mates as well as my daughters. You are old enough to go about into the forest, deeper than our territory; to the mountains like your sister, if you wished. When you were young that was all you wanted. It is your life, Halidari. Perhaps it is time you take it where you paws wish it to go?" The last is said with encouragement, but a hint of sadness and failure rests behind his voice. Lykaois' eyes are meant, briefly, and behind that look is a heart to heart plea: take care of my daughter where I cannot.
As a pup, the attention was divided; if the desire to disappear into the wilds was ever there, it was to find peace brought by the attention that stood within conflict. Hali stayed, however, no matter how alone she felt. Shaking her head to her father, Hali glances to him, "The day I told you that I was going to stay, I meant it. The challenges here may make it hard, but that's life." pauses "What’s life without difficulties, right. I thought you of all would know that life’s not worth living it there’s nothing to thrive for." To go were her paws take her, that is not what she wants; her heart tells her to stay and that’s what she's going to do. "Lark choose the mountains because it’s what she knew, I choose the forest because it what’s I've come to know, but I could never leave what I was born into. I brought what I loved from the forest so that I could remain here; if waiting longer means the chance to having them stay then I'm willing to wait." It may disappoint her, but she can't have everything when she wants it.
It would appear that everyone Lykaios meets expects him to take care of Halidari, a task he has thus far done his best to accomplish and which he continues to do as well as he can. To that end, he intends primarily to remain by her when she needs him most, and he knows she wants to be here with her family. It is why he has done his best to remain on good footing with them, despite the aggression he has occasionally received. He is confident that he will eventually be accepted as having no ill intentions towards any of the Lazuli pack. It will only take time. Speaking once again, almost as much to Felstride as to Hali, he says, "You don't have to choose, Hali. Your other pack mates will get to know me eventually. Until then, I can wait as well as you can." What seemed, originally, to be Hali's presence here to lessen the blow should Lyk not be accepted, now seems to have flipped around, proof enough of his willingness to provide what he can to Hali and the other members of her pack, whether he is one of them or not.
The alpha male tips his ears in Lykaois' direction, blinking his dark amber eyes slowly a few times as the boy speaks, and he offers a barely perceptible nod to both. Silent for sometime afterward, the wolf looks to both in front of him with a steady seriousness, though what he's actually thinking is rather closely guarded and hidden away. Behind him, he ticks off his tail in time with the night's insects, before, for the first time tonight, addressing Lykaois directly. "I think, perhaps, I should get to know you myself before I ask my family to do the same. I believe that we should meet one on one, so that I may know what kind of wolf you are without my daughter's influence." That said, he glances to Halidari and offers her a smile. "Do you think that is wise?" he asks, curious.
Time, it's the one that Halidari seems to have a lot of these days, but it seemed to travel slow, so slow that she often managed to wind up getting herself in trouble, or finding things about herself that needed improvement. What she really needed was for things to fall into place, for something unexpected to happen and surprise her. Turning her ears back to Lykaios, Hali blinks; she didn't have to choose... well of course not, she wasn't going to, her mind was made up. Looking to Lyka and going to say something, nothing comes out. "..." Her father’s words come out before hers and she turns toward him. Listening to what he has to say, she nods slowly. Speak to Lyka himself... a pause comes over her; that was nothing to worry about right? Giving her father a nod, "Yes, father." she replies. What to do with her time alone when that happens... she'll find something.
All Lykaios meant is that he's not going to be upset if he isn't accepted into this pack immediately. It's not a matter of life and death, he's not going to be hurt, and he's not going to run off just because Felstride is wisely cautious. The young male keeps his mouth shut, now, and merely gives a slight nod in response to what Felstride has said, even if the question was posed to Halidari. He's rather not sure if it's something to worry about. He doesn't think so, or at least, he hopes not. The thought makes him slightly nervous all the same. After all, if Lyk is any different when Hali is not around, which, admittedly, he is, to some degree, how much of that is true for Felstride as well?
A sigh rises up from his chest, though it's less of a sad sound than a tired one. There have been many things on his plate, none of them particularly heartwarming, and it has left his soul feeling tired and his body feeling warn. Halidari is given a gentle nuzzle across her cheek before the dark wolf stands. In truth, he acts similarly no matter if he is alone or with others, and Lykaois may have little to fear from him. Felstride is more worried about how to break the news to others. He looks to the young male levelly before pointing his nose to the east. "In one moon's time, I would like to meet you by the river and we will walk, and talk. I will learn of you, and you of I." That said, he nods to both adolescents and begins to pad silently off into the darkness, to patrol but more so to think, and glances briefly back at the young wolves before him with a light, yet ghosting smile.
What else was there for Hali to do but sit there. Much like Fel, there were many things coursing through her mind as well, unable to put them into words, unsure if she ever should. How where things going to be for her now? This she wasn't sure of, but she didn't question it; not tonight anyhow. Watching her father stand and give last instructions to Lyka, nuzzle her as well, Hali's silence remains even after the alpha walks off into the night.
Whereas what is going through Lyk's mind is what he intends to say to Felstride when they meet. He has made many mistakes in the past, one of them, in particular, involving one of this pack's members, and admitting them has always been difficult for the young wolf. He has been expecting it to come back to haunt him ever since he was cured of that illness, and this may be where it does. That Halidari was willing to look past it surprised him enough. He doesn't expect that from everyone. He remains silent, as well, as Felstride gives his final instructions and then walks away, though he does, at least, nod to show that he understands.