Post by Therdde on Jun 11, 2009 17:22:54 GMT -5
Characters:
Cael - Male Juvenile Cougar
Kein - Male Cougar
- Snowy Highlands -
He knew it wasn't going to be a good day when he woke up, he just knew, but whatever it was that called him back to this place has a twisted sense of humor. Cael reluctantly let his paws lead him to the precipice of stones, and there he sits on top of one of the sturdier rocks. The snow is gone, replaced by sparse grass and sun warmed flowers, but the brooding youngster is casting a gray gloom across the stones. His normally bright eyes are narrowed as they trail down the steep incline, rolling over large rocks, bumps, hills, anything that would have caused... Cael shakes his head and lashes his tail, but says nothing as his mind remembers when it was winter, when there was snow, and why he was here.
Though the cougars are the most visible inhabitants of these lands, they are not the only inhabitants, not by a long shot. Indeed, there are severely outnumbered, and at any given time, they can count on being within the sight of some other creature. Truly, almost nothing that happens in Amaranth is truly secret, but rarely is Kein sought out so that one of the smaller animals whose home is on the mountain can tell him of an occurrence. Perhaps that should change, since the little squirrel who called out to him today proved his worth, even if it was by telling him something he really didn't want to know. No wonder Paoro kept one of them around. Her 'familiar'. With his patience already tested, Kein makes his way slowly to the area where the squirrel said he observed two cubs fighting, months back.
So, why was he here? Did something draw him here, like it did this morning, or was it just dumb luck? Fate? Cael has never thought about something like this before, and the whimsical concept of 'fate' eludes him. His maw parts, and moves like he was about to speak, or whispered something through his teeth, but whatever it was no one caught the sound. Cael isn't even sure if he uttered a word. At one point, his head jerks to the left, like he thought he saw something, someone, claws at the ready coming toward him, but he didn't. He shakes his head, ears flapping loudly, and growls lowly to himself. Why is he so angry?
What Cael thought he saw might have been imagined, but before long, there is the sound of very real, if quiet, pawsteps approaching the young cougar. Kein can smell his son as he approaches, and it couses him to frown. If everything the squirrel told him was true... Well, while he wanted to pretend that the fight was between Ashen and one of Ashen's siblings, that seemed unlikely then and seems even more unlikely now. He slows his approach further, trying to remove the frown from his expression, telling himself to remain calm. It won't be easy. Dealing with misbehavior from his children never is. He hopes he can manage it, though.
Did Cael misbehave, or was he protecting something? Did he care, and does he feel remose? Is that was that is, that feeling in his chest? Guilt, or anger? The boy doesn't know, but it's likely that he'll find out. His father's approach is ignored, or more likely, goes unnoticed as he slowly stands and jumps off his taller perch, eyes snapping downward as a few smaller rocks tumble down the short cliff face. Cael grunts, wrinkling his nose at them and the echos that bounce from place to place, before he meanders further away from Kein's position. He bends to examine a tilted stone. Was this the one... ? Hmm.
Try thought he might, as soon as Kein spots Cael, he cannot fully eliminate the frown. He stops walking and calls out, "Good day, Cael." How did he lose track of his children so quickly? Kaya is far removed from them, as are Nuba and Crevan. He has no idea what Cael spends his days doing, but Kein is certain he has failed the boy. Even little Aurora. She's beautiful and he loves every second he gets to spend with her, but how much does he actually know her? The thought threatens to distract him from his purpose here, and he is forced to push it aside as well as he can.
Another muted whisper from the boy, this one accompanied by another irritated growl-- but he's cut off, eyes wide in surprise at the sound of his name and the voice that threw it. Cael lifts his head slowly, peering over the rocks at his father; the distance between them is wide, many pawsteps, but the son doesn't close that gap. His eyes watch his father with a strangeness dancing behind them, not quite fear... but close. The eyes of a growing child, a conflicted son, a confused little cub. "Hi... Dad," he offers eventually, his voice hardly carrying up, over, and around the crags he's surrounded himself with. Cael remains still, those eyes staring at his father in that uneasy silence that follows.
Kein never, ever wanted his children to fear him. That almost-fear that he sees in Cael's eyes tears at him, and he honestly wishes he could just let this thing go, pretend it never happened, and spend the remainder of his day just talking or patrolling with his son. He can't, though, and that probably accounts for the regret he cannot keep from his expression or his tone. "Come here, Cael." His voice is quiet, but what he says is still obviously a command. Kein's not happy about it, but he is resolved.
The only sign from the young cougar that he heard Kein's command is a flick of his ears, both splaying out to the sides and then springing forward in a quick motion. Cael's paws do not move, something screaming at him inside makes him hold his ground, but he can't quite tell if it's fear of his father, fear of punishment, or just fear of the unknown. A noise somewhere causes Kein's son to tear his eyes away, to look off into the distance and down over that cliff... then slowly a forepaw picks up, sets down, and he approaches his father, slowly. He does not run up, greet the older cougar with excitement, enthusiasm, a headbutt; not like he used to. Does he know, or is this something else? Cael did what he thought was right, what his body made him do; why is Kein so angry? He doesn't ask these questions, content to sit in silence, still a fair distance from his father.
Cael's obedience, as limited as it is, gives Kein some hope. Not much, but some. He does not insist on being any closer to the boy. Rather, as Cael sits, so does Kein, and only a short while later, he asks, "Is there something you should tell me, son?" Were Kein's mother still alive, he would apologize to her, most sincerely, for every time he made her speak to him like this, probably with tears in his eyes as he did so.
He should feel great guilt, sadness, maybe even a hint of grudging anger toward Ashen, but even as Kein addresses him, Cael feels something around his heart harden; perhaps a barrier against Kein's words, or a false justification of why he was right. The silence is awful as it falls around the boy, and he turns that wide, strangely fearful, guarded gaze up at the other male... he shakes his head. No, no, he doesn't have anything to tell him. And then his eyes fall away, pained instantly at the lie, and roughly shrugs his shoulders. He's done a lot since he was last in trouble, as it were, maybe Kein means something else?
Kein frowns as Cael shakes his head. He could be wrong. It /could/ be any cub that attacked Ashen. With Ashen, he is certain, since not of the other cubs are quite so large and lanky, but most of the others, from a distance, could be confused for one another when the animal observing them is not familiar with them. He's not wrong, though. Why else would Cael be here, acting like this? With a sigh, Kein says, "When you are ready to talk to me about Ashen, you'll know where to find me. Until then, I want you to go to your mother and stay there silently." No playing. No talking. And an adult nearby to make sure he doesn't cheat. It's not the first time Kein has used it as a punishment. Even so, though he suspects Cael understands, he asks, "Do I make myself clear?" No, he won't push the issue while Cael is lying and sulking, because he suspects it would not take much of it for his temper to get the better of him.
Flattened ears great Kein's ultimatum. Yes, he's heard it before, and while Cael urges his paws to move again, to find Nayeli, he doesn't move. The boy squirms under that stern voice, but words of protest catch in his throat. Cael is not known for disobeying his parents outright, but in this, he does not feel punishment is warrented. After all, he protected Kein from Ashen. As foolish as it sounds, his son believes that he kept a threat away from his father in a time where Amaranth was beset with dangers. Nayeli even told him that he was doing all that he could to keep threats at bay by staying home, and so he defended his /home/. "Ashen was coming to hurt you," he gruffs out, chest heaving in a mixture of anger, pain, keeping what could be tears at bay. "So I made him leave."
Having Cael confirm all of Kein's fears hurts. Oh, under different circumstances, he would almost definitely be proud of Cael, standing up to a cougar larger than he is, even if not heavier than he is. Knowing what has come of Ashen, though, and all of the trouble that Ashen's diappearance has caused... Kein could yell. He could demand that Cael go to his mother and stay there immediately, or drag the boy there, if nothing else. He doesn't, though. Rather, after a pause, he asks, "If you really thought you were doing right, why haven't you told us about it? Why did you lie?" He could explain to Cael why what he did was wrong, but Kein will not always be there. Sooner or later, Cael is going to have to learn to handle these moral dilemmas himself.
"You were busy," is the boy's first response, low, guarded. Cael's voice hangs on to a thread of doubt, wondering how not bragging about something, like others might, constitutes a lie. How can you lie with silence? Cael grapples with this for quite a while, confusion, consternation morphing his face into a downward frown. Stuck in himself, he forgets Kein's presence, that is, until the overwhelming power of his father's anger hits him full in the chest again. He breathes, the sound ragged and rough from holding it in, "I didn't lie," he squeezes out.
"Not then. No, you just hid what you did, which is not much better. Just now, you lied." Angry? Yes, Kein is angry. Does Cael not see the consequences of his action? Can he not draw the connection between his attack of Ashen, Kaya's behaviour towards Kein, and his mother's weeks-long disappearance? Still, Kein manages to keep from yelling, from making this any worse than it already is. "What do you think the first thing /I /do is, after I am finished confronting any risk to Amaranth?" Almost always, unless he gets caught up in something else, he goes and informs Nayeli. Had Cael done something like that, this could have all been handled much sooner, before Ashen could disappear from everyone in Amaranth. It wouldn't have made the fact that he attacked Ashen any better, but at least a lot of what happened after Ashen disappeared might not have happened.
"Oh." It's a meek response, resignation clear in his tone if Kein can even hear him say it at all. At the question, Cael shakes his head but does not reply. Does he know what Kein does at the end of patrol, or when something happens? Maybe, but it's not apparent to the boy at first. As Kein fights yelling, his son fights tears. In his mind, Ashen was a threat; to him, to Kein, to his mother, to everyone. He did what his body told him to, to fight off a danger to his family. Though Kein doesn't pose another question, Cael shakes his head again, biting his lip as the fight to defend himself plays out in his mind over, and over, and over. His ear stings, stars flash in front of his eyes when he hits the ground, and his stomach sinks at the prone cub in the snow. It's all happening again, and only Cael is witness to it, this time.
"When I have to protect the family, I tell Nayeli. It's the first thing I do. And if I find out I was mistaken, because she knows something I don't, I can try to fix it, then." He doesn't want to tell Cael not to protect his family, and the boy did think he was protecting his family. Hopefully, though, he can make Cael understand how he handled the situation incorrectly, so that something like this does not happen in the future. It doesn't end with just the fact that Cael hid what he did, whether he hid it intentionally or not, but that does seem to be one of the biggest issue.
Cael no longer responds, having lost his voice in the struggle to keep his composure. Kein's words wash over slicked backed ears, and if he understands the reasons behind those words his face does not give that away. "You were busy," he squeaks again, knowing somehow that his actions were justified regardless of what Kein knows, or doesn't know, about what happened. "You had to protect mom, and everyone else. He was coming to hurt you, so I told him to go away." It's simple, really, but Cael cannot wrap his head around Kein's anger. Maybe later he might be able to, but there is a part of Cael that refuses to give up the knowledge that what he did was justified, and right.
Kein can't say he doesn't know why Ashen would be coming to hurt him. He can say, however, that he could have torn the boy to shreds easily, though, if he had gotten past Cael. "He's half my size and has none of my experience, Cael. How do you think he could have hurt me?" Finally, Kein's voice does take a real edge. "Instead, because you handled it, and handled it poorly, your /sister/ attacked me and your mother spent weeks outside of the territory, where she could have been hurt at any time. Do you think that's better?"
Cael fidgets, his spine visibly shrinking as the /real/ lecture begins. His hard breathing grows louder as he fights with himself, and throughout Kein's displeasure he shakes his head, and shakes his head, and shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut again. He can't articulate what he was thinking, not at the moment where it turned from a verbal threat to a real 'fight,' but Ashen could have hurt Kein far more with his words than with his claws. Cael knows this to be true, somehow, but he can't explain it to his father. So instead, he runs. He turns tail on Kein and flees haphazardly over the rocks and dirt... but he doesn't get far. A few yards, at best, before his chest explodes in a held back, blubbering sigh, and tears stream from his cheek fur to the dust at his paws.
Oh no. Kein has had quite enough of his children running from him. No more does he worry about not scaring his son. By the time he comes close to catching up, though, the boy has stopped, and Kein does his best to check the anger that tells him that talking is not doing any good. With slightly bared teeth, clenched against his anger, he walks around Cael so that he can see the boy's face. If he is swayed by the tears at this point, he doesn't show it. "You will /not/ turn your back on me. Maybe it's my fault that you all have forgotten that /I/ am your father, but I will not allow it to continue. Do you understand?" There is a very clear growl in his voice. Of course he wants to comfort Cael. Honestly. But he is going to make this perfectly clear, first. The rebelliousness is going to end. If it takes scaring all of his children to do it, so be it. He'll hate it, but he'll do it.
Rebellious? The eldest, maybe, but Kein's eldest son is frightened. The lost look is clear in the child's eyes when, for a fleeting second he lifts his head to stare right into the face of death, and then turns again. Cael cowers from his father, shrinking as low as he can to the ground and tucks his muzzle underneath his paws. He nods, if Kein can see it, he understands. Cael won't attack him; he couldn't disobey Kein like that. He nods again, and again, "I th-thought I did it ri-right," he sputters out through painful gasps, "I th-thought I h-helped."
Kein has never physically hurt any of his children. If he ever does, he will regret it for the rest of his life. This, however, he does not regret. He can't allow himself to regret it. His rules are designed to keep everyone safe, and whatever it takes, he must makes sure they will obeyed. Cael running away when he's trying to explain why what happened cannot happen in the future does not help that... But the older male's tone does soften. Not a great deal, but hopefully enough. "I know, Cael. I don't expect you to understand, yet, how proud I am that you want to help keep us safe." Maybe one day, when Cael has children, if he ever does, he will understand how children can terrify their parents and make them proud all at the same time. "I am not angry because you tried to help. I am upset because you went about it the wrong way, and many animals got hurt because of it."
How is he supposed to know what is right and what is wrong, and even now, if he thought what he was doing is right, how is he to know /who/ knows what is right and what is wrong? The question hurts his head, already pounding from the emotional overload he's already tripped on, and Cael simply decides to abandon his questions, abandon his thoughts. Just agree, Cael, and you can rebel in private. Any notion that Kein is proud escapes his son, and though he uncurls from his little bunker he does not settle his full attention on the older male. Nod. Agree. Do what is right. Don't disappoint. Don't make mistakes.
Kein watches his son closely. If only he could read the minds of his children, parenting would be so much easier. How on earth did his mother always know the right thing to say? "Will you promise me that, from now on, you'll let your mother and I know what you're doing, and try to let /us/ help too, so you can learn what the right way is?" For as long as he breathes, he will always want to help his children in whatever way he can. They're getting to the age where they have to agree to it, though, leaving Kein with only the hope that Kein and Nayeli have raised them well enough that they still have time to fix their mistakes, to this point.
He's sure that somehow there is a benefit to all this. Cael has to believe that this is true, otherwise, what's the point of sitting through it? Maybe he'll figure it out one day, and then he'll have to find Kein and thank him... Sure. The cub nods meekly, maw twitching as he fights with himself to say something to defend his actions, but he remains silent and still. At one point his eyes widen when he realizes that Kein will tell Nayeli... and while Nayeli speak to him /quite/ like Kein, it will be a whole different kind of torture.
Kein watches his son for a while. Yes, Nayeli will probably be speaking to Cael too, and she will get to say all of the things Kein wishes he could say, but can't. That there is nothing Cael could do to make them stop loving him. That it hurts them to ever have to speak harshly to him. Reassuring things. Motherly things. "Good. You go on and play now, all right?" In other words, round one is over. Cael can leave now without worrying that Kein will pursue him, a chance Kein fully expects Cael to take eagerly.
Eagerness is most understated. While the impending conversation with Nayeli is likely to entail a lot of stern looks, tears, and probably that motherly cuddling-thing to wrap it all up, this knowledge does not comfort Cael in the slightest. The release command given, Cael wastes no time turning tail. Other, less angry lectures, he would have apologized, but not this time. The boy scrambles over the rocks, heading south deeper and higher into the mountain to find that one place of solitude where Kein won't, or just physically can't, follow him. The apology will come later, most likely, but for now Cael needs to understand what happened that day with Ashen, what happened today with Kein, and wonder what he will do in the future? What if Revan were to come back, attack him? Should he run and seek help, or face an unsurmountable odd? All this whirls through his mind as he flees into the mountain, not once looking back to see the cougar he left behind.
Cael - Male Juvenile Cougar
Kein - Male Cougar
- Snowy Highlands -
He knew it wasn't going to be a good day when he woke up, he just knew, but whatever it was that called him back to this place has a twisted sense of humor. Cael reluctantly let his paws lead him to the precipice of stones, and there he sits on top of one of the sturdier rocks. The snow is gone, replaced by sparse grass and sun warmed flowers, but the brooding youngster is casting a gray gloom across the stones. His normally bright eyes are narrowed as they trail down the steep incline, rolling over large rocks, bumps, hills, anything that would have caused... Cael shakes his head and lashes his tail, but says nothing as his mind remembers when it was winter, when there was snow, and why he was here.
Though the cougars are the most visible inhabitants of these lands, they are not the only inhabitants, not by a long shot. Indeed, there are severely outnumbered, and at any given time, they can count on being within the sight of some other creature. Truly, almost nothing that happens in Amaranth is truly secret, but rarely is Kein sought out so that one of the smaller animals whose home is on the mountain can tell him of an occurrence. Perhaps that should change, since the little squirrel who called out to him today proved his worth, even if it was by telling him something he really didn't want to know. No wonder Paoro kept one of them around. Her 'familiar'. With his patience already tested, Kein makes his way slowly to the area where the squirrel said he observed two cubs fighting, months back.
So, why was he here? Did something draw him here, like it did this morning, or was it just dumb luck? Fate? Cael has never thought about something like this before, and the whimsical concept of 'fate' eludes him. His maw parts, and moves like he was about to speak, or whispered something through his teeth, but whatever it was no one caught the sound. Cael isn't even sure if he uttered a word. At one point, his head jerks to the left, like he thought he saw something, someone, claws at the ready coming toward him, but he didn't. He shakes his head, ears flapping loudly, and growls lowly to himself. Why is he so angry?
What Cael thought he saw might have been imagined, but before long, there is the sound of very real, if quiet, pawsteps approaching the young cougar. Kein can smell his son as he approaches, and it couses him to frown. If everything the squirrel told him was true... Well, while he wanted to pretend that the fight was between Ashen and one of Ashen's siblings, that seemed unlikely then and seems even more unlikely now. He slows his approach further, trying to remove the frown from his expression, telling himself to remain calm. It won't be easy. Dealing with misbehavior from his children never is. He hopes he can manage it, though.
Did Cael misbehave, or was he protecting something? Did he care, and does he feel remose? Is that was that is, that feeling in his chest? Guilt, or anger? The boy doesn't know, but it's likely that he'll find out. His father's approach is ignored, or more likely, goes unnoticed as he slowly stands and jumps off his taller perch, eyes snapping downward as a few smaller rocks tumble down the short cliff face. Cael grunts, wrinkling his nose at them and the echos that bounce from place to place, before he meanders further away from Kein's position. He bends to examine a tilted stone. Was this the one... ? Hmm.
Try thought he might, as soon as Kein spots Cael, he cannot fully eliminate the frown. He stops walking and calls out, "Good day, Cael." How did he lose track of his children so quickly? Kaya is far removed from them, as are Nuba and Crevan. He has no idea what Cael spends his days doing, but Kein is certain he has failed the boy. Even little Aurora. She's beautiful and he loves every second he gets to spend with her, but how much does he actually know her? The thought threatens to distract him from his purpose here, and he is forced to push it aside as well as he can.
Another muted whisper from the boy, this one accompanied by another irritated growl-- but he's cut off, eyes wide in surprise at the sound of his name and the voice that threw it. Cael lifts his head slowly, peering over the rocks at his father; the distance between them is wide, many pawsteps, but the son doesn't close that gap. His eyes watch his father with a strangeness dancing behind them, not quite fear... but close. The eyes of a growing child, a conflicted son, a confused little cub. "Hi... Dad," he offers eventually, his voice hardly carrying up, over, and around the crags he's surrounded himself with. Cael remains still, those eyes staring at his father in that uneasy silence that follows.
Kein never, ever wanted his children to fear him. That almost-fear that he sees in Cael's eyes tears at him, and he honestly wishes he could just let this thing go, pretend it never happened, and spend the remainder of his day just talking or patrolling with his son. He can't, though, and that probably accounts for the regret he cannot keep from his expression or his tone. "Come here, Cael." His voice is quiet, but what he says is still obviously a command. Kein's not happy about it, but he is resolved.
The only sign from the young cougar that he heard Kein's command is a flick of his ears, both splaying out to the sides and then springing forward in a quick motion. Cael's paws do not move, something screaming at him inside makes him hold his ground, but he can't quite tell if it's fear of his father, fear of punishment, or just fear of the unknown. A noise somewhere causes Kein's son to tear his eyes away, to look off into the distance and down over that cliff... then slowly a forepaw picks up, sets down, and he approaches his father, slowly. He does not run up, greet the older cougar with excitement, enthusiasm, a headbutt; not like he used to. Does he know, or is this something else? Cael did what he thought was right, what his body made him do; why is Kein so angry? He doesn't ask these questions, content to sit in silence, still a fair distance from his father.
Cael's obedience, as limited as it is, gives Kein some hope. Not much, but some. He does not insist on being any closer to the boy. Rather, as Cael sits, so does Kein, and only a short while later, he asks, "Is there something you should tell me, son?" Were Kein's mother still alive, he would apologize to her, most sincerely, for every time he made her speak to him like this, probably with tears in his eyes as he did so.
He should feel great guilt, sadness, maybe even a hint of grudging anger toward Ashen, but even as Kein addresses him, Cael feels something around his heart harden; perhaps a barrier against Kein's words, or a false justification of why he was right. The silence is awful as it falls around the boy, and he turns that wide, strangely fearful, guarded gaze up at the other male... he shakes his head. No, no, he doesn't have anything to tell him. And then his eyes fall away, pained instantly at the lie, and roughly shrugs his shoulders. He's done a lot since he was last in trouble, as it were, maybe Kein means something else?
Kein frowns as Cael shakes his head. He could be wrong. It /could/ be any cub that attacked Ashen. With Ashen, he is certain, since not of the other cubs are quite so large and lanky, but most of the others, from a distance, could be confused for one another when the animal observing them is not familiar with them. He's not wrong, though. Why else would Cael be here, acting like this? With a sigh, Kein says, "When you are ready to talk to me about Ashen, you'll know where to find me. Until then, I want you to go to your mother and stay there silently." No playing. No talking. And an adult nearby to make sure he doesn't cheat. It's not the first time Kein has used it as a punishment. Even so, though he suspects Cael understands, he asks, "Do I make myself clear?" No, he won't push the issue while Cael is lying and sulking, because he suspects it would not take much of it for his temper to get the better of him.
Flattened ears great Kein's ultimatum. Yes, he's heard it before, and while Cael urges his paws to move again, to find Nayeli, he doesn't move. The boy squirms under that stern voice, but words of protest catch in his throat. Cael is not known for disobeying his parents outright, but in this, he does not feel punishment is warrented. After all, he protected Kein from Ashen. As foolish as it sounds, his son believes that he kept a threat away from his father in a time where Amaranth was beset with dangers. Nayeli even told him that he was doing all that he could to keep threats at bay by staying home, and so he defended his /home/. "Ashen was coming to hurt you," he gruffs out, chest heaving in a mixture of anger, pain, keeping what could be tears at bay. "So I made him leave."
Having Cael confirm all of Kein's fears hurts. Oh, under different circumstances, he would almost definitely be proud of Cael, standing up to a cougar larger than he is, even if not heavier than he is. Knowing what has come of Ashen, though, and all of the trouble that Ashen's diappearance has caused... Kein could yell. He could demand that Cael go to his mother and stay there immediately, or drag the boy there, if nothing else. He doesn't, though. Rather, after a pause, he asks, "If you really thought you were doing right, why haven't you told us about it? Why did you lie?" He could explain to Cael why what he did was wrong, but Kein will not always be there. Sooner or later, Cael is going to have to learn to handle these moral dilemmas himself.
"You were busy," is the boy's first response, low, guarded. Cael's voice hangs on to a thread of doubt, wondering how not bragging about something, like others might, constitutes a lie. How can you lie with silence? Cael grapples with this for quite a while, confusion, consternation morphing his face into a downward frown. Stuck in himself, he forgets Kein's presence, that is, until the overwhelming power of his father's anger hits him full in the chest again. He breathes, the sound ragged and rough from holding it in, "I didn't lie," he squeezes out.
"Not then. No, you just hid what you did, which is not much better. Just now, you lied." Angry? Yes, Kein is angry. Does Cael not see the consequences of his action? Can he not draw the connection between his attack of Ashen, Kaya's behaviour towards Kein, and his mother's weeks-long disappearance? Still, Kein manages to keep from yelling, from making this any worse than it already is. "What do you think the first thing /I /do is, after I am finished confronting any risk to Amaranth?" Almost always, unless he gets caught up in something else, he goes and informs Nayeli. Had Cael done something like that, this could have all been handled much sooner, before Ashen could disappear from everyone in Amaranth. It wouldn't have made the fact that he attacked Ashen any better, but at least a lot of what happened after Ashen disappeared might not have happened.
"Oh." It's a meek response, resignation clear in his tone if Kein can even hear him say it at all. At the question, Cael shakes his head but does not reply. Does he know what Kein does at the end of patrol, or when something happens? Maybe, but it's not apparent to the boy at first. As Kein fights yelling, his son fights tears. In his mind, Ashen was a threat; to him, to Kein, to his mother, to everyone. He did what his body told him to, to fight off a danger to his family. Though Kein doesn't pose another question, Cael shakes his head again, biting his lip as the fight to defend himself plays out in his mind over, and over, and over. His ear stings, stars flash in front of his eyes when he hits the ground, and his stomach sinks at the prone cub in the snow. It's all happening again, and only Cael is witness to it, this time.
"When I have to protect the family, I tell Nayeli. It's the first thing I do. And if I find out I was mistaken, because she knows something I don't, I can try to fix it, then." He doesn't want to tell Cael not to protect his family, and the boy did think he was protecting his family. Hopefully, though, he can make Cael understand how he handled the situation incorrectly, so that something like this does not happen in the future. It doesn't end with just the fact that Cael hid what he did, whether he hid it intentionally or not, but that does seem to be one of the biggest issue.
Cael no longer responds, having lost his voice in the struggle to keep his composure. Kein's words wash over slicked backed ears, and if he understands the reasons behind those words his face does not give that away. "You were busy," he squeaks again, knowing somehow that his actions were justified regardless of what Kein knows, or doesn't know, about what happened. "You had to protect mom, and everyone else. He was coming to hurt you, so I told him to go away." It's simple, really, but Cael cannot wrap his head around Kein's anger. Maybe later he might be able to, but there is a part of Cael that refuses to give up the knowledge that what he did was justified, and right.
Kein can't say he doesn't know why Ashen would be coming to hurt him. He can say, however, that he could have torn the boy to shreds easily, though, if he had gotten past Cael. "He's half my size and has none of my experience, Cael. How do you think he could have hurt me?" Finally, Kein's voice does take a real edge. "Instead, because you handled it, and handled it poorly, your /sister/ attacked me and your mother spent weeks outside of the territory, where she could have been hurt at any time. Do you think that's better?"
Cael fidgets, his spine visibly shrinking as the /real/ lecture begins. His hard breathing grows louder as he fights with himself, and throughout Kein's displeasure he shakes his head, and shakes his head, and shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut again. He can't articulate what he was thinking, not at the moment where it turned from a verbal threat to a real 'fight,' but Ashen could have hurt Kein far more with his words than with his claws. Cael knows this to be true, somehow, but he can't explain it to his father. So instead, he runs. He turns tail on Kein and flees haphazardly over the rocks and dirt... but he doesn't get far. A few yards, at best, before his chest explodes in a held back, blubbering sigh, and tears stream from his cheek fur to the dust at his paws.
Oh no. Kein has had quite enough of his children running from him. No more does he worry about not scaring his son. By the time he comes close to catching up, though, the boy has stopped, and Kein does his best to check the anger that tells him that talking is not doing any good. With slightly bared teeth, clenched against his anger, he walks around Cael so that he can see the boy's face. If he is swayed by the tears at this point, he doesn't show it. "You will /not/ turn your back on me. Maybe it's my fault that you all have forgotten that /I/ am your father, but I will not allow it to continue. Do you understand?" There is a very clear growl in his voice. Of course he wants to comfort Cael. Honestly. But he is going to make this perfectly clear, first. The rebelliousness is going to end. If it takes scaring all of his children to do it, so be it. He'll hate it, but he'll do it.
Rebellious? The eldest, maybe, but Kein's eldest son is frightened. The lost look is clear in the child's eyes when, for a fleeting second he lifts his head to stare right into the face of death, and then turns again. Cael cowers from his father, shrinking as low as he can to the ground and tucks his muzzle underneath his paws. He nods, if Kein can see it, he understands. Cael won't attack him; he couldn't disobey Kein like that. He nods again, and again, "I th-thought I did it ri-right," he sputters out through painful gasps, "I th-thought I h-helped."
Kein has never physically hurt any of his children. If he ever does, he will regret it for the rest of his life. This, however, he does not regret. He can't allow himself to regret it. His rules are designed to keep everyone safe, and whatever it takes, he must makes sure they will obeyed. Cael running away when he's trying to explain why what happened cannot happen in the future does not help that... But the older male's tone does soften. Not a great deal, but hopefully enough. "I know, Cael. I don't expect you to understand, yet, how proud I am that you want to help keep us safe." Maybe one day, when Cael has children, if he ever does, he will understand how children can terrify their parents and make them proud all at the same time. "I am not angry because you tried to help. I am upset because you went about it the wrong way, and many animals got hurt because of it."
How is he supposed to know what is right and what is wrong, and even now, if he thought what he was doing is right, how is he to know /who/ knows what is right and what is wrong? The question hurts his head, already pounding from the emotional overload he's already tripped on, and Cael simply decides to abandon his questions, abandon his thoughts. Just agree, Cael, and you can rebel in private. Any notion that Kein is proud escapes his son, and though he uncurls from his little bunker he does not settle his full attention on the older male. Nod. Agree. Do what is right. Don't disappoint. Don't make mistakes.
Kein watches his son closely. If only he could read the minds of his children, parenting would be so much easier. How on earth did his mother always know the right thing to say? "Will you promise me that, from now on, you'll let your mother and I know what you're doing, and try to let /us/ help too, so you can learn what the right way is?" For as long as he breathes, he will always want to help his children in whatever way he can. They're getting to the age where they have to agree to it, though, leaving Kein with only the hope that Kein and Nayeli have raised them well enough that they still have time to fix their mistakes, to this point.
He's sure that somehow there is a benefit to all this. Cael has to believe that this is true, otherwise, what's the point of sitting through it? Maybe he'll figure it out one day, and then he'll have to find Kein and thank him... Sure. The cub nods meekly, maw twitching as he fights with himself to say something to defend his actions, but he remains silent and still. At one point his eyes widen when he realizes that Kein will tell Nayeli... and while Nayeli speak to him /quite/ like Kein, it will be a whole different kind of torture.
Kein watches his son for a while. Yes, Nayeli will probably be speaking to Cael too, and she will get to say all of the things Kein wishes he could say, but can't. That there is nothing Cael could do to make them stop loving him. That it hurts them to ever have to speak harshly to him. Reassuring things. Motherly things. "Good. You go on and play now, all right?" In other words, round one is over. Cael can leave now without worrying that Kein will pursue him, a chance Kein fully expects Cael to take eagerly.
Eagerness is most understated. While the impending conversation with Nayeli is likely to entail a lot of stern looks, tears, and probably that motherly cuddling-thing to wrap it all up, this knowledge does not comfort Cael in the slightest. The release command given, Cael wastes no time turning tail. Other, less angry lectures, he would have apologized, but not this time. The boy scrambles over the rocks, heading south deeper and higher into the mountain to find that one place of solitude where Kein won't, or just physically can't, follow him. The apology will come later, most likely, but for now Cael needs to understand what happened that day with Ashen, what happened today with Kein, and wonder what he will do in the future? What if Revan were to come back, attack him? Should he run and seek help, or face an unsurmountable odd? All this whirls through his mind as he flees into the mountain, not once looking back to see the cougar he left behind.