Into The Sunset

[helaku]

This is an off-grid event solely featuring a journal-like record of Aquene, the daughter of Skelaghe and Helaku of the Ute pack. It will be added to under this initial post with each entry, and cover Aquene's interaction with her departed father en route to the old Ute lands off grid.
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Featured Characters of this Log:

Aquene - Female Wolf, Ute pack.
Helaku - Male Wolf, Ute pack, resigned from Alpha.


1ST LOG
Location: Within Ute Territory.
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Father's scent had always been subdued by his habitual tactics of subterfuge, which he learned in the far off lands known as Redwood Barrens, an expanse of forest much different from the Meadows (as he called it) where I was born. When he began teaching me his ways Father told me it was for a purpose in the future, for something that was unavoidable and written in the stars that accompany Lunai, the moon, on her nightly rounds. He did not say what it purpose the training would serve until deep in my training, when he revealed to me that he had been fighting Tobba's Rage since before I was born, and before the new Ute was founded.

Tobba's Rage, often known as being rabid, is a disease quick acting but somehow Father managed to stave off its effects for much longer than what should be possible. He spoke often of an Alsatian named Forty-One, whom was also stricken with the disease in his old age and like Father after him, had also maintained a reserved routine to keep it at bay. The Eloone pack of the far off Redwood Barrens must be much tougher than us to live the way they do, even put a stopper in disease. At times, Father would speak of his most painful failure involving the original Ute pack. Perhaps this failure to find a cure for their own ailments was why he fought so hard to prevent Tobba's Rage from turning him into a monster. When he was a lone he talked to himself almost as if his mind was split in two. It beckoned him for aggressive release and he constantly insulted himself to, I suppose, dominate this alternative mind. He chose to eat fish long ago to avoid the risk of losing land-based prey and infecting them, often covering up his preference with the excuse he hated seeing food beg for its life.

Only someone who knew Father's methods could track him. This I knew, for I was the only one ever able to find him when he disappeared in his patrols across our territory. By comparison, the wolves here do not seem to be keen on covering up their scent so well like Father or try their paws climbing low-hung branches and trunks of trees. At times, I think he is more cat than wolf. I've not met many wolves, but I doubt a majority of them stood a chance against someone like Father. His training me in his ways were hard despite him saying that he was not sparring, tracking, hunting, stalking me at his fullest capacity. I wonder how Forty-One trained him to be this way. Father once said a true master does not ever show their full ability except when it was necessary.

I have a bad feeling I will finally see that ability when Tobba's Rage claims him. I intend to be at his side until he draws his final breath. I go into this quest aware of the risks, that I might become infected or die in the process of trying to put him at ease. If I become infected, I will take General Order 19, and end my own life to prevent the disease from spreading. Funny, this talk, so human in nature. Forty-One was, after all, a military service dog in the service of Men during their wars. I understand the horrors seen by Father, but the horrors seen by Forty-One must have been much worse for this philosophy to appear.

I left Mother or should I say, Skelaghe, today. She is dead to me for the things she said about Father. Of all her pups I was the only one that spent day after day with Father because I was not afraid of the bloody glare from his eyes or the stolid features of his face. It would seem that only Ixkin likewise showed this care for Father. I should spend more time with her if I return home. I'm willing to bet that if things had been different Ixkin would have birthed me and not Skelaghe. The newcomer, Wyanet, is not a wolf I personally dislike. She was unaware of Father's condition and tried to woo him even still when knowing he had loyalty to Skelaghe. He, however, didn't know of her other lovers. Had he, then I'm sure he would have been more open to Wyanet and more appreciative of her attentions. His love for her was unknowingly in vain and this is why I follow Father. If she truly loved him, she will one day go back to the lands to which I travel to pass away.

I have not yet found Father. He is probably traveling quickly to prevent anyone from following him, even me, knowing that I probably would. His teaching has lead me to a sharp mind. I believe that he taught me not to just have the ability to defend family, myself, and carry on a code but to stand a chance against him should I follow him to his death.

[helaku]

2ND LOG
Location: Border of Ute
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I had hoped to speak with Ixkin before leaving, but I was unable to find her on my way out of the lands. There is little time I can spare; I've never been to the original pack lands, and if I don't leave now, I will lose Father to his methods should he come to a creek or river. Fortunately, my hopes in communicating with Ixkin are not entirely lost. I met the newcomer Quidel at the Creek and I'm impressed as Father was with his politeness, and beautiful singing. I asked him to finish the song I heard him singing when I found him. Though he sang of the river, it felt like he sang of myself and Father. I did not want to leave his company, but I had to and therefore requested of him to see after Ixkin for me.

I did not stop at the den, rather wanting to continue without any more delays. The trees that shed their leaves never looked so dead before in the daylight, and I wonder if it is an ill omen for the pack's future. Everything is unstable with his unexpected departure, though Teketa will be quite capable. I just hope no one tries to replace Father too quickly...guilt that might take Skelaghe would lead to more instability, and I hope she does feel it. Guilt for avoiding Father, guilt for not trying to know him better after his time among the Eloone, guilt for not realizing that though he might have put the pack at risk, that he did a damn fine job of fighting Tobba's Rage where so many have fallen.

I leave Ute now for the first time in my life, and every step I take beyond its borders is a step in a new place I've not explored. Father's retreat had not been as swift as I thought; within hours of crossing the border, I found him leaning against a tree, mumbling to himself things. His condition had worsened significantly since he walked away from the den. He clawed the bark of a tree and argued with himself that he should continue to fight Tobba's Rage, or go back to Ute and kill everyone, or simply continue heading to his true home. I don't believe the new Ute was ever home to him. Most of the pack was not the same.

When Father saw me the first time, he pressed himself against the tree almost like a frightened pup. He did not want this, me following him to death. The terror in his eyes was a terror I've never seen, or that anyone may have seen. If only Skelaghe could see him now, how scared he was. It would serve her right in the things she said. Out here alone, no one to comfort-speak him. I did, which is much more than what she would have done. Quidel's song by the creek was useful, though I am no great singer like he. It soothed Father into his rational mind, and still he said I should not have come, but expected it.

I told him how the others reacted to the news. It pained him they still thought his words inappropriate when they were blind. Skelaghe usually had an open mind, but I'm sure a newcomer fouled it up for her. He seemed relieved that Kezu was still there. I'm not sure what Father felt about that wolf, but I know what I feel about Kezu...he is the wolf of my ears, with his wisdom.

When I told Father about my confrontation with Skelaghe he reacted in displeasure, and charged right into my face. He didn't like what I said to her, at all. Tobba's Rage didn't make it any easier, pulling at his muzzle. We sat there staring at each other for several moments in silence, my surprise and his distaste. He knew of Skelaghe's other loves, specifically Teketa, and was happy she had him. Though, what he said next nearly broke my heart. Father said that he knew from the start, his mateship to Skelaghe would not be a comforting one like many mated pairs normally shared. It didn't stop him from loving Skelaghe, and only made him try harder to be her ideal male, to which he admitted failure equal to that of failing the original pack. He turned from me, then, walking on as I sat there thinking. How could he willingly put himself through that sort of relationship when he knew he'd not have something he longed for? I asked him.

Father said the litter he had with Skelaghe was not the only litter he had in life. With the Eloone, he sired two others, one with a descendant of Forty-One. This is why he could accept Vincent's pups--he had fathered wolf-dogs himself, or at least part dogs. One litter was half lost with the mother, the other survived. intact. He did not tell Skelaghe, ever, because she never asked. It is her fault for not knowing Father better.

Still, he was not happy with what I had said to Skelaghe. Though he did not take well to me following him, he said it would give him the chance to teach me my final lesson: Forgiveness.

[helaku]

3RD LOG
Location: Unknown.
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It has been a few days since I found Father and his condition is profoundly worse than it was when I saw him against the tree. The stoicness he once always displayed is unstable, being cut away piece by piece under Tobba's Rage. Father does not try to hide it from me now and in his moments of calm, said he is relieved I could see what the disease is doing to him. It would educate me, so that I know how to spot it early on in other individuals.

We have spoken little about Skelaghe and I trust it is that Father does not wish to linger on who and what he left behind. He could not return now. Even if he did, I believe the only thing he would meet are wolves whom did not want him around, except maybe Ixkin. He spoke, instead, about the Eloone where his best memories were had just as they were in the original Ute. Talking about them put him at ease. These were things he never had a chance to tell Skelaghe. He planned to tell her when she returned and spent time with him at the waterfall. Still, I have not forgiven her. Father insists I should, but I cannot see why I should.

The Eloone pack was not originally called 'Eloone', but instead Miakoda (power of the moon). It had existed for several generations, going back at least seventeen and no less. In the beginning the Miakoda were a primarily peaceful pack, similar to the original Ute which Skelaghe and Father spoke of from time to time. Their deity had always been the moon, Lunai, and every pack member had a blue crescent moon painted on their body like Ute have their sun. The crescent represents two things: the cradling essence of a mother and the keen, fighting skill of the father. The site of their den was known as Whistling Oak, after the large tree whose roots provided shelter for the pack. The name 'Eloone' came much later when humans first arrived to cut the trees for whatever purposes they desired. Upon the first encounter with the Miakoda, a pack of wolves enraged by the Whistling Oak being torn down, humans referred to them as "helions", their word for 'demon'. The name stuck; Eloone is a wolfish corruption of the word.

The Eloone quickly dwindled in numbers with the oncoming of humans who specialized in killing our kind or trapping them, from a nigh 60 wolves to a meek 7, then 6. They were killed for their pelts and meat, or put into fighting rings to entertain the humans. The sport of wolf-dog fighting became a fate worse than death, most of the dogs being of breeds alien to this, and any lands thereof. They were bred for hunting wolves and lions in far off lands, more terrifying than any dog breed we've encountered. Sometimes, the humans brought in exotic animals, things which do not naturally live in our land. Father said they brought a hyena, whose laughter in seeking prey was potent enough to even scare the humans behind the wire fencing. He too had been taken from his home and moved. The humans shot him during an escape attempt.

Father spared me on many details, but said a very important dog served as a guard for this fighting ring, known only as Forty-One. From the start, he hated the ring part out of what it was used for and part out of fear that he would be thrown into it. The human who was his master never knew Forty-One was a former military dog, having deserted once his original master was killed. He was older, nearing the age of Elder, when he saw Father in a cage being poked by the humans to anger him before his first venue against a large venemous snake one of the humans found in the forest. At the time, Father was no fighter as he is now. He admitted to being frightened, as he is now, and Forty-One knew he would not last long like the others. Though it was with a kind heart that Forty-One approached the cage and told Father how to combat a snake he was rough, knowing that Father was driven to panic.

The first fight Father had was not with the snake. It had killed itself by biting its own body to death, probably having realized it would be killed anyway even if it won. The first opponent Father faced was...a young wolf barely out of its puphood. She was scared, and though scared himself, Father did the unthinkable in front of the humans. He drew the pup close to himself so she wouldn't have to be afraid. The humans, frustrated by the strange aura that dwelled in the air about Father, then resorted to sending in a breed of dog they called an Afghan. Unfortunately for it, the door to the cage accidentally fell as it walked through into the ring, and broke the dog's neck. The humans gave up trying to get Father to fight, and even let him keep the young pup with him. When Forty-One visited him later in the night, Father gave the pup to him for a rendezvous with a few of the surviving members of the Eloone. The little pup is now, upon last hearing, the Beta female of the Eloone.

Father ended his story there, for now. We had water and fish at a stream and as I drank he brushed up against me and crooked his neck over the back of mine. I froze, unknowing of what he was going to do, if Tobba's Rage was deceiving me or if he meant to have a moment with me, his precious daughter. He suddenly shoved me to the ground with a strong headbutt that sent me off balance. I was shocked, and mildly angered by this, but I told him that I forgive him because of his condition.

He told me, "Remember those words for your mother, her condition is worse than mine."

We ate together in silence.

[helaku]

4TH LOG
Location: Unknown.
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We traveled fast, not stopping for anything en route to the original lands. Since Father said his words to me last night, he has been silent. It bothers me. Tobba's Rage must be trying harder to turn him completely mad. Days spent crossing the territory have become a rather unexciting, and disturbing affair. For every horizon we met, there was another waiting.

Was Father's silence a tool to make me reconsider what I said to Skelaghe? His tone sure wasn't pleased with me the other day, and still was not pleased with me when he said to remember the words 'I forgive you'.

We continued until a clearing broke in a forest, where a human had left a trap a long time ago. Father told me about these traps, often being hidden under foliage and often gave the victim little choice in what to do. Most wolves had to face gnawing their own paw off in order to free themselves, but fortuantely Father knew how to set the trap off without hurting himself so others wouldn't be harmed by human idiocy. He took a stick in his maw and pressed the lever. The sheer force used by the trap made me jump; it was so fast!

Father said the Eloone would use these traps if they found them unused and open. Digging out the stake that kept them secure, and dragging them to a location where it was needed for a purpose. The wolves of the Eloone sometimes even set them at their territorial boundaries, though once they were used, they couldn't be used again. These traps were made by Men, for Men's hands and not wolf paws. The first time Father saw Forty-One use one of these traps, it was as an actual weapon. The Alsatian took the chain in his maw and made as if to chase his tail before letting the momentum guide the trap to whereever he aimed it. The only time Father had seen Forty-One do this was in a confrontation with wolves from another pack. The unfortunate victim had the trap snap shut on his face. This Forty-One...it is no wonder many of Father's techniques, which he taught me, are so deadly.

Father said the Eloone were also uncanny in other, more natural traps. Forty-One passed a military directive during a period of war which stated that along a certain perimeter of their territory, large holes would be dug and in the bottoms, a long branch of a tree that was sharp on one end would be fitted into the hole, and the hole itself covered by foliage and weak twigs, branches of trees. This was another piece of knowledge brought to the Eloone by Forty-One.

One thing is for certain. I will most likely never visit the lands of the Eloone. They sound incredibly dangerous, a society of wolves geared to pacifism yet they defend it with such harsh, lethal methods. Part of me hopes their methods will never filter into other packs for if humans realize the things they did, their instruments of destruction would increase to more than we wolves could handle.

Again, Father went silent.

I want go home.

Father is scaring me with this information, his odd silence.

I want to go home...to Mother.

I can't until this is done.

[helaku]

5TH LOG
Location: Old Ute Lands.
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"Do you remember the flowers in the wind, how their petals fluttered about the lake every spring when the snow melted?" Father said one of the surviving Ute once asked him this very question, and though Tobba's Rage has made it difficult for him to not snap at me he remembered those flower petals in the sun.

We arrived at the Old Ute lands today, a land that was massive for a pack so centered on their ways of life. Father said the Ute had always been blessed with a fairly large territory, and that it was beautilful. But, now that I see it for myself I even feel heartache though I never have been here before. The packs that inhabited this area dared not step on, or take the land for themselves out of respect and the other animals living near the Old Ute lands likewise avoided it. A full generation had passed, and still they remembered the noble wolves whom once lived here; their effect on this land feels like something I've never known before: being in the presence of a legendary pack. Most retained no marks of their former existence, but the Old Ute was nothing like them.

The vast forest and open plains once living and full of motion, had said Father, were now lifeless. The trees stood tall in death, and the plains no longer bear any grass or shrubs. Birds do not sing here, crickets do not chirp, and other animals do not speak. I've never heard such silence. Even the weather itself behaved out of reason. In the dead of summer, this place should be hot but the air had the frigid touch of winter. It is as if the very land gave up living once the Ute perished.

Father stayed ahead of me, but did not seem affected by the sights and the absence of sounds. He expected this, returning to a place cold and bereft of life where he would be alone. The sunken valley about him shaped to his looks more than the current Ute lands ever did, even in death. He did not speak and only stared forward at our final destination: the dens.

In the old days, the Ute lived in dens near a good sized lake overwhich the sun rose each morning. At certain times of the month, the pack would sit in silence at dawn, and watch it ascend to the sky. This was a Tobba tradition I would not beable to share with Father, for there was no lake. It dried up long ago, leaving behind an empty bed now blacker than the surrounding land above it.

Father took me straight to the lake and had me look down the slope to where the skeleton of a wolf lay, half-bleached by the sun over the years. This, he said, was the original Alpha under whom he served as Beta. Driven by madness, he cast himself into the lake and drowned where his bones lie.

He thend showed me the dens, which still stood against the seasons. Within were the bones of other wolves, the final wolves that died on the land. A few adults and even pups were among those accounted for.

The Old Ute lands were nothing more than a place of death, and for the first time ever I saw Father cry. Happy or sad, I could not tell. His time was near, and he knew it. In days or hours he'd lose control to Tobba's Rage. I still bear resentment to Mother for this. The Beta that once served their previous Alpha, had taken her as a loving mate and sired her first litter of which I'm part of--is not here. Is this why Father cries? He did not even get to say goodbye. Those mutts newly arrived to the pack ruined it for him. Ixkin would probably have come with him, but he told her to stay with Mother because he didn't want to lead her to death.

One would think the original Ute members would see Father off more honorably than this. With his passing, only two will remain. Father mentioned this once he gathered himself, and another first came out of him. He was angry with Mother. Or was it Tobba's Rage? No, I believe he truly was angry with Mother. I could see it in him. He kept his discomforts about how life went after founding the new Ute to himself, and he was angry. Angry that she kept shying away from him and, as he put it, 'breaking the bonds of Ute' even more than they all ready had been. Instead of retaining closeness to those she knew best, her original packmates, she sided with outsiders who knew nothing of how Ute live. Of the long-term wolves in the new Ute he knew, only Teketa mattered to him. I'm sure Quidel would have if he had the chance to know him better.

Father, though, was uneasy about the newcomer trio, Kezu being the one among them he was most comfortable with. He didn't speak much of Haht, but on Wyanet...his honest feelings on her based on the way she acted were that if she was not better controlled under pack rules, she would become a cancer in how she disobeyed authority and walked off at her own leisure when it was not in respectful manner to do so. Father expressed worry that she would ruin Abel's future as Alpha of Ute. Though he didn't spend much time with him, he knew my brother's disposition quite well, along with my other sister. He also worries about Rowtag, Ciqala.

Father mentioned to me another wolf he didn't know well but had seen great things in, a wolf named Haze whom he briefly met. He told me to find this wolf if I return to the new lands, and give him a message. Actually, he gave me messages for everyone in Ute...most of them nice, but one rather harsh. Also, he told me of Vincent--said that he ws not to be touched by anyone except Skelaghe or Teketa if things went awry. While Father knows he has no more authority, he spoke with authority. It was as if he was checking off a list of things he felt needed to be addressed. He also told me something to tell Mother about Teketa. I still have not really met Teketa, but the constant mentions of him by Father tell me that he is perhaps the most honorable male in the new Ute.

There is nothing to use to paint a fresh Sun on Father. Instead, I used the mud of the lake bed. Father said Tobba touched it, and therefore it was fine. He no longer spoke of the Eloone. I beleive while he is both Ute and Eloone, that he decided that inwardly he did not reject the Eloone, but had to consider the fact he was born Ute, and should die Ute.

All there was now was to wait. To wait for Tobba's Rage to take him over puts into perspective life itself. As I sit here, waiting, I feel my life ebbing away though I am young. If I am bit just once, I will not return home.

I have never been able to match Father's speed.

[helaku]

FINAL LOG
Location: Old Ute Lands.


This is the day my world fell apart.
Father succumbed to Tobba's Rage.
He struggled who to keep at heart.
Always feared dying of old age.

What was once warm and bright,
Now cold and black instead.
Never had I a serious fight,
Father's motionless in a bloody bed.


This is all I can say, because it is what I've done. This story, I cannot tell here. I return home a changed wolf, forgiving Father for not recognizing me much in the end.

I return home a changed wolf...

...no one will recognize me.



Helaku died this day, nearly two weeks after he left the Ute lands reborn. Aquene now returns home with a forgiving heart, but still intensely bitter that only Ixkin and Quidel were capable of giving him something to smile about as far as having company in his final days on the territory were concerned.

One thing is for certain. If anyone speaks ill of her father in the future, there will be hell to pay.