Post by avalikia on May 12, 2010 15:08:59 GMT -5
Characters:
Nukpana - Female Horse
Luna - Female Horse
Setting:
Wildwood Acre
----------------------------------------
The signs of spring are all around, mostly in the form of plants starting to grow. And many of the new bits of growth are finding their way into Nukpana's eager mouth. She's had a few days to recover from the birth, both mentally and physically, and is actually feeling much better. Her newborn son is laying down nearby, taking a mid-morning nap, and between the energy of the young plants and her recent step into motherhood her senses are on full alert.
Luna has been keeping her polite distance, waiting for the bay mare to decide she wants her company again, but never farther away than a quick run could bring her to help. So far the colt seems to be the only addition to the herd this year, to Luna a very unusual thing. One foal. Still, it's better than none of course, and so she as well takes the time out to enjoy the fresh shoots of grass peeking up over the thinning snow. Slowly her grazing makes her drift closer to mare and foal, though she doesn't seem to notice this herself.
Space is definitely something that Nukpana's needed up to this point, though now she's more or less returned to her old self. Her regular self needs plenty of space too, but not enough to be casting murderous looks everywhere like she has been for the past while. Now, though she's well aware of how close Luna is, she doesn't pay any particular attention to the old mare. Eating is much more important, which is evident by her overall thin appearance. The bulge of her pregnancy hid just how thin she'd become, but now it's evident that the large mare's resources were pretty strained trying to cope with both a hard winter and a pregnancy.
Luna must realize how close she is, there's just no way she can be within a few feet of a sleeping foal and grazing mother without noticing. Still she remains quiet, the only sounds coming from her those of grass being churned between blunt teeth. She stops just a body's length from the grazing mare, and it's not until then that she even lifts her head from the grass. "So," she says softly in her friendliest tone of voice. "How is motherhood treating you? Everything you feared it would be?"
Raising her head as she chews her latest mouthful, Nukpana's eyes narrow a little at Luna's tone. She's extra thorough in her chewing, but eventually she swallows and finally replies, "I'm... learning. It doesn't seem all that difficult, actually. But then again he's... an infant." Her tone is fairly neutral, though there's more than enough hesitation there to hint that the large mare rather thinks she's in over her head, but coping. And talking about it is about as natural for her as actually being a mother, which means there's sure to be plenty of awkwardness in this conversation.
Luna can only nod to that. The first few weeks are easy enough, when he doesn't even dare think about taking four consecutive steps away from his mother. She doesn't outright say so, but she knows you'll miss these quiet days soon enough. "I know you were afraid it'd be a colt," she comments thoughtfully, looking to the sleeping foal. "Looks like he turned out alright, though. Four legs, head and tail." Her gaze lingers for a bit, a touch of longing in her eyes before she returns her attention to the mare. "And I'm glad you didn't just abandon him somewhere in the snow."
It's only now that Nukpana actually glances at her son, snorting noncommittally at Luna's assessment of him. Which, though it's a neutral sound, probably speaks volumes about the blood bay's opinion. If she was at all happy, surely she'd take this opportunity to at least agree but she doesn't. In fact, she nearly starts arguing that she's not yet sure that she's glad that she decided to keep him, but the Luna's longing expression reminds Nukpana that sentiment probably won't go over well so she remains silent. Instead she stands there awkwardly with nothing to say for a moment before she says, "Do you need something?"
Luna lets out a bit of a sigh, as she really had hoped for something more positive. After casting a glance over her shoulder to make sure they're outside earshot, she rests one hindhoof as if to signal she's going to be here a while. "In a way, yes," she says, though it's obvious she's both reluctant and unsure of how to begin. "It is not fair of you to blame a newborn foal for the transgressions of its sire," she finally starts, in that slow and considered tone. "He is not the stallion that betrayed you, and if you let him, he -will- love you higher than life itself. Right now you -are- his life."
When the old mare starts what's obviously a lecture, Nukpana closes her eyes as if that would help shield her from it. But to her credit, she actually listens to it and waits for Luna to finish before she replies. However, when she begins talking she's gone from neutral to anger controlled only to the point of keeping herself from lashing out physically or yelling and waking the sleeping foal. "Of course it's not his fault! You don't need to tell me that! And it not his fault either that he looks so exactly like his father. But now I have a living reminder of that stallion, and I'm expected to love him anyway. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not the sort of mare that can just do that. And yet I've decided to care for him anyway, which I don't have to do, but since I know it's not his fault I'll give him that much. So fine, condemn me. Tell me I'm a bad mother. I don't care!" It takes a lot of effort on her part to keep her tone steady and her legs from stamping, either of which would disturb her foal's rest.
Luna doesn't even flinch at that outburst. She just stands there, taking the abuse and accusations without a word, simply listening until it seems like Nukpana is done venting - or at least, until she needs to breathe. "I didn't call you a bad mother," she points out. "I merely pointed out what I wished others might have said to me when I had my first foal. My situation was different from yours, certainly, but I was still confused, distressed ..." She offers a bit of a disarming smile. "But I know you don't take to kindness easily, and so I simply remind you that if anyone in this world loves you right now, it's him." She gives a short toss of her head towards the sleeping Orion. "Don't follow your own mother's example."
The old mare's words set Nukpana the majority of the large mare's body to twitching in agitation, from her ears to her tail, as she tries to process that and figure out what she needs to say to it. "You... don't understand. My mother loved me, she was the only one who ever did! She was crazy and stupid but she gave me that. And that was the only thing she gave me," she says haltingly, having a hard time thinking when she's this upset, "It would help so much if there was even a bit of her in him, but..." Shaking her head, she sighs and goes silent, unable to put most of her feelings into proper words.
Luna is somewhat surprised, though she does her best to conceal it. Actual emotions from Nukpana are somewhat new to her, as the other mare has always seemed to put a certain distance between herself and the rest of the world. "There is," she says. "There is a part of her in you, and so a part of that part lives on in your foals. However fleeting a memory may be, it remains a memory." Philosophy, and not even very good philosophy, but at least she's trying. "Besides, you have a unique chance right now. You can raise this colt to actually care about others, unlike the stallions you have had bad experiences with."
It's amazing what comes to the surface of someone when they're too upset to really care much about what they're saying. Especially since her desire to let Orion sleep as long as possible keeps her from ranting and raving properly. "Perhaps, but I don't see that part. All I see is /him/ lying there," Nukpana says angrily, once again struggling to keep her voice down, "And if he turns out anything like his father, I'll kill him."
Luna narrows her eyes. "You will do no such thing," she says lowly. If there's anything she will not tolerate, it's threats against foals. "You will do your best to make sure he does not become like his father. I will help you with that, believe me. Any mare in our herd will help with that. If we're so lucky that we find a new herd stallion, your son can look up to him as a role model - I have no hope that Lootah would be a good role model in that regard, if he's even still alive after this winter."
The large mare's first reply to that is to give a hard, defiant snort. While Nukpana must admit to herself that her decision to keep her son despite everything carries many obligations with it, as far as she's concerned she can do with him as she pleases - he's hers, after all, and she doesn't see how Luna could stop her anyway. "You think I'm going to just sit back and see what happens?" she says, narrowing her own eyes, "Of course not! I merely mean that if he doesn't learn those lessons properly... well, I'm not about to be responsible for letting another stallion like that go off into the world." And it's clear from her tone that she really means that.
Luna takes a deep breath, she does not want to be the one to start a fight. "I am not saying to wait and see what happens, of course not. A colt left to his own devices will grow up selfish and only caring about himself. So you spend every day telling him why it's important that he keeps others happy, that he does his best to protect those he love." She pauses for a moment. "My mother used to say that the greatest, hardest job of a stallion is to keep his herd safe even at the cost of his own life. And it's up to that stallion's birth herd to make him ready for that."
That Luna seems to be at least somewhat agreeing with her seems to do much to settle Nukpana's mood. "Oh, he'll be hearing that from me, all right. If he turns out bad it won't be because he doesn't know what good is," she says with a toss of her head, "Though that seems to not be enough - I'm sure there's plenty of mothers that have said the same, and just look at how many bad stallions there are." Which is a far more meaningful statement to Nukpana that it appears, as she's never really had the experience of meeting a good stallion and knowing he was good.
Luna can only nod to that. She knows there are rotten apples in the basket, but she still has had decent luck through her long life. "So we just try harder than anyone else," she replies. "But for now, what he really needs is a loving mother, loving aunts, and safety. The rest will come later, and if he gets those things he will already know why mares are to be treasured and protected."
At Luna's words, the blood bay mare shifts about uncomfortably. Providing her colt with safety she doesn't see as too difficult. And by finding a herd to be born into, Nukpana hopes that she's provided him with 'loving aunts' - something she didn't have. But as for giving him a loving mother... well, that's the real problem here, isn't it? And that discomfort is enough to make it difficult for her to decide what to say, so she merely nods.
Luna thinks for a while, just standing there looking at the sleeping foal. "I can't teach you how to love him," she finally says, shifting her resting pose from one hindhoof to the other. "Some mares are naturally better mothers than other mares, but I firmly believe we all have the capacity to love our foals. To care for them, cherish them. He is as much a part of you as the stallion that sired him, if not more - you are the one who has carried him for the past year, and you are the one whose words and thoughts he will turn to for guidance." She lets out a soft sigh. "If you will it that way, his sire has given him nothing but his coat and gender, the brain is all from you."
The uncomfortable look around Nukpana eases just a little at Luna's words because, though they're not anything that she hasn't already thought about, it's nice to hear someone else say them. "Perhaps it will just take some time," she comments, though her tone sounds doubtful about it. She was deeply hurt by that stallion, and in most ways she hasn't recovered from it and at this rate she never will. How could she love a colt crafted in that image? Still, she'll admit that there's a chance. Perhaps when he's old enough that his mind and personality start to really show he'll prove to be something she can love instead of merely care for.
Luna offers a reassuring smile. She'll be here for a good while to come - if this winter didn't manage to kill her, she should be good for a few more years. "Most things do take time," she nickers. "But he's gonna be a colt for at least a couple of years. Lots of time to teach him the basics, lots of time to teach him to be the very opposite of his sire." She reaches down to the ground, nipping off a bit of the fresh grass while she thinks. "Plenty of time to make him come out just right," she finishes.
Unable to think of anything to say to that, Nukpana simply nods and joins Luna in grazing. There's no way she would admit it, but this conversation has really helped her understand the situation better. It certainly hasn't fixed anything, but now she at least has some valuable perspective on it. And even better, it's made her that much more glad that she didn't follow her first impulse to abandon him. The poor colt deserves that much of a chance and, though she realized that by herself at first, Luna's helped confirm that.
Nukpana - Female Horse
Luna - Female Horse
Setting:
Wildwood Acre
----------------------------------------
The signs of spring are all around, mostly in the form of plants starting to grow. And many of the new bits of growth are finding their way into Nukpana's eager mouth. She's had a few days to recover from the birth, both mentally and physically, and is actually feeling much better. Her newborn son is laying down nearby, taking a mid-morning nap, and between the energy of the young plants and her recent step into motherhood her senses are on full alert.
Luna has been keeping her polite distance, waiting for the bay mare to decide she wants her company again, but never farther away than a quick run could bring her to help. So far the colt seems to be the only addition to the herd this year, to Luna a very unusual thing. One foal. Still, it's better than none of course, and so she as well takes the time out to enjoy the fresh shoots of grass peeking up over the thinning snow. Slowly her grazing makes her drift closer to mare and foal, though she doesn't seem to notice this herself.
Space is definitely something that Nukpana's needed up to this point, though now she's more or less returned to her old self. Her regular self needs plenty of space too, but not enough to be casting murderous looks everywhere like she has been for the past while. Now, though she's well aware of how close Luna is, she doesn't pay any particular attention to the old mare. Eating is much more important, which is evident by her overall thin appearance. The bulge of her pregnancy hid just how thin she'd become, but now it's evident that the large mare's resources were pretty strained trying to cope with both a hard winter and a pregnancy.
Luna must realize how close she is, there's just no way she can be within a few feet of a sleeping foal and grazing mother without noticing. Still she remains quiet, the only sounds coming from her those of grass being churned between blunt teeth. She stops just a body's length from the grazing mare, and it's not until then that she even lifts her head from the grass. "So," she says softly in her friendliest tone of voice. "How is motherhood treating you? Everything you feared it would be?"
Raising her head as she chews her latest mouthful, Nukpana's eyes narrow a little at Luna's tone. She's extra thorough in her chewing, but eventually she swallows and finally replies, "I'm... learning. It doesn't seem all that difficult, actually. But then again he's... an infant." Her tone is fairly neutral, though there's more than enough hesitation there to hint that the large mare rather thinks she's in over her head, but coping. And talking about it is about as natural for her as actually being a mother, which means there's sure to be plenty of awkwardness in this conversation.
Luna can only nod to that. The first few weeks are easy enough, when he doesn't even dare think about taking four consecutive steps away from his mother. She doesn't outright say so, but she knows you'll miss these quiet days soon enough. "I know you were afraid it'd be a colt," she comments thoughtfully, looking to the sleeping foal. "Looks like he turned out alright, though. Four legs, head and tail." Her gaze lingers for a bit, a touch of longing in her eyes before she returns her attention to the mare. "And I'm glad you didn't just abandon him somewhere in the snow."
It's only now that Nukpana actually glances at her son, snorting noncommittally at Luna's assessment of him. Which, though it's a neutral sound, probably speaks volumes about the blood bay's opinion. If she was at all happy, surely she'd take this opportunity to at least agree but she doesn't. In fact, she nearly starts arguing that she's not yet sure that she's glad that she decided to keep him, but the Luna's longing expression reminds Nukpana that sentiment probably won't go over well so she remains silent. Instead she stands there awkwardly with nothing to say for a moment before she says, "Do you need something?"
Luna lets out a bit of a sigh, as she really had hoped for something more positive. After casting a glance over her shoulder to make sure they're outside earshot, she rests one hindhoof as if to signal she's going to be here a while. "In a way, yes," she says, though it's obvious she's both reluctant and unsure of how to begin. "It is not fair of you to blame a newborn foal for the transgressions of its sire," she finally starts, in that slow and considered tone. "He is not the stallion that betrayed you, and if you let him, he -will- love you higher than life itself. Right now you -are- his life."
When the old mare starts what's obviously a lecture, Nukpana closes her eyes as if that would help shield her from it. But to her credit, she actually listens to it and waits for Luna to finish before she replies. However, when she begins talking she's gone from neutral to anger controlled only to the point of keeping herself from lashing out physically or yelling and waking the sleeping foal. "Of course it's not his fault! You don't need to tell me that! And it not his fault either that he looks so exactly like his father. But now I have a living reminder of that stallion, and I'm expected to love him anyway. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not the sort of mare that can just do that. And yet I've decided to care for him anyway, which I don't have to do, but since I know it's not his fault I'll give him that much. So fine, condemn me. Tell me I'm a bad mother. I don't care!" It takes a lot of effort on her part to keep her tone steady and her legs from stamping, either of which would disturb her foal's rest.
Luna doesn't even flinch at that outburst. She just stands there, taking the abuse and accusations without a word, simply listening until it seems like Nukpana is done venting - or at least, until she needs to breathe. "I didn't call you a bad mother," she points out. "I merely pointed out what I wished others might have said to me when I had my first foal. My situation was different from yours, certainly, but I was still confused, distressed ..." She offers a bit of a disarming smile. "But I know you don't take to kindness easily, and so I simply remind you that if anyone in this world loves you right now, it's him." She gives a short toss of her head towards the sleeping Orion. "Don't follow your own mother's example."
The old mare's words set Nukpana the majority of the large mare's body to twitching in agitation, from her ears to her tail, as she tries to process that and figure out what she needs to say to it. "You... don't understand. My mother loved me, she was the only one who ever did! She was crazy and stupid but she gave me that. And that was the only thing she gave me," she says haltingly, having a hard time thinking when she's this upset, "It would help so much if there was even a bit of her in him, but..." Shaking her head, she sighs and goes silent, unable to put most of her feelings into proper words.
Luna is somewhat surprised, though she does her best to conceal it. Actual emotions from Nukpana are somewhat new to her, as the other mare has always seemed to put a certain distance between herself and the rest of the world. "There is," she says. "There is a part of her in you, and so a part of that part lives on in your foals. However fleeting a memory may be, it remains a memory." Philosophy, and not even very good philosophy, but at least she's trying. "Besides, you have a unique chance right now. You can raise this colt to actually care about others, unlike the stallions you have had bad experiences with."
It's amazing what comes to the surface of someone when they're too upset to really care much about what they're saying. Especially since her desire to let Orion sleep as long as possible keeps her from ranting and raving properly. "Perhaps, but I don't see that part. All I see is /him/ lying there," Nukpana says angrily, once again struggling to keep her voice down, "And if he turns out anything like his father, I'll kill him."
Luna narrows her eyes. "You will do no such thing," she says lowly. If there's anything she will not tolerate, it's threats against foals. "You will do your best to make sure he does not become like his father. I will help you with that, believe me. Any mare in our herd will help with that. If we're so lucky that we find a new herd stallion, your son can look up to him as a role model - I have no hope that Lootah would be a good role model in that regard, if he's even still alive after this winter."
The large mare's first reply to that is to give a hard, defiant snort. While Nukpana must admit to herself that her decision to keep her son despite everything carries many obligations with it, as far as she's concerned she can do with him as she pleases - he's hers, after all, and she doesn't see how Luna could stop her anyway. "You think I'm going to just sit back and see what happens?" she says, narrowing her own eyes, "Of course not! I merely mean that if he doesn't learn those lessons properly... well, I'm not about to be responsible for letting another stallion like that go off into the world." And it's clear from her tone that she really means that.
Luna takes a deep breath, she does not want to be the one to start a fight. "I am not saying to wait and see what happens, of course not. A colt left to his own devices will grow up selfish and only caring about himself. So you spend every day telling him why it's important that he keeps others happy, that he does his best to protect those he love." She pauses for a moment. "My mother used to say that the greatest, hardest job of a stallion is to keep his herd safe even at the cost of his own life. And it's up to that stallion's birth herd to make him ready for that."
That Luna seems to be at least somewhat agreeing with her seems to do much to settle Nukpana's mood. "Oh, he'll be hearing that from me, all right. If he turns out bad it won't be because he doesn't know what good is," she says with a toss of her head, "Though that seems to not be enough - I'm sure there's plenty of mothers that have said the same, and just look at how many bad stallions there are." Which is a far more meaningful statement to Nukpana that it appears, as she's never really had the experience of meeting a good stallion and knowing he was good.
Luna can only nod to that. She knows there are rotten apples in the basket, but she still has had decent luck through her long life. "So we just try harder than anyone else," she replies. "But for now, what he really needs is a loving mother, loving aunts, and safety. The rest will come later, and if he gets those things he will already know why mares are to be treasured and protected."
At Luna's words, the blood bay mare shifts about uncomfortably. Providing her colt with safety she doesn't see as too difficult. And by finding a herd to be born into, Nukpana hopes that she's provided him with 'loving aunts' - something she didn't have. But as for giving him a loving mother... well, that's the real problem here, isn't it? And that discomfort is enough to make it difficult for her to decide what to say, so she merely nods.
Luna thinks for a while, just standing there looking at the sleeping foal. "I can't teach you how to love him," she finally says, shifting her resting pose from one hindhoof to the other. "Some mares are naturally better mothers than other mares, but I firmly believe we all have the capacity to love our foals. To care for them, cherish them. He is as much a part of you as the stallion that sired him, if not more - you are the one who has carried him for the past year, and you are the one whose words and thoughts he will turn to for guidance." She lets out a soft sigh. "If you will it that way, his sire has given him nothing but his coat and gender, the brain is all from you."
The uncomfortable look around Nukpana eases just a little at Luna's words because, though they're not anything that she hasn't already thought about, it's nice to hear someone else say them. "Perhaps it will just take some time," she comments, though her tone sounds doubtful about it. She was deeply hurt by that stallion, and in most ways she hasn't recovered from it and at this rate she never will. How could she love a colt crafted in that image? Still, she'll admit that there's a chance. Perhaps when he's old enough that his mind and personality start to really show he'll prove to be something she can love instead of merely care for.
Luna offers a reassuring smile. She'll be here for a good while to come - if this winter didn't manage to kill her, she should be good for a few more years. "Most things do take time," she nickers. "But he's gonna be a colt for at least a couple of years. Lots of time to teach him the basics, lots of time to teach him to be the very opposite of his sire." She reaches down to the ground, nipping off a bit of the fresh grass while she thinks. "Plenty of time to make him come out just right," she finishes.
Unable to think of anything to say to that, Nukpana simply nods and joins Luna in grazing. There's no way she would admit it, but this conversation has really helped her understand the situation better. It certainly hasn't fixed anything, but now she at least has some valuable perspective on it. And even better, it's made her that much more glad that she didn't follow her first impulse to abandon him. The poor colt deserves that much of a chance and, though she realized that by herself at first, Luna's helped confirm that.