Post by Therdde on Nov 23, 2010 17:28:56 GMT -5
Characters:
Cael - Male Cougar Spirit
Maul - Female Cougar
- Wildflower Drop -
He knew that when he turned from this mountain that his paws would never again grace its soil; what he did not intend so soon was that he would never touch the earth again. There was nothing he could do, though. Not until today. This was not a place he'd expected to see but he is not really seeing anything. He feels Amaranth around him, living and breathing while he is not. He moves through the forest soundlessly. His figure indistinct, rippling just as water does over a smooth pebble at the bottom of a spring stream. Eyes, once green and striking, are cloudy and sightless and he has no use for them now. The only distinction to him as he travels is a slash of red, the remnants of his dyed marking, that eddies with his shape. He stops only once, head lifting at a passing breeze that though he smells nothing at all, directs him to the creature that called him back to his mountain home.
It has been a rough several weeks for Maul. Despite the return of spring, she has been just barely eating enough to keep her post-winter weight steady, and sleep is very nearly just a memory. The once-haunted cougaress has returned to that state, and it hasn't been easy on her. Though exhausted, she is too restless to remain still. She is purposeless, though, in her wandering. The girl's only intention is to remain moving. Somewhere in her mind, she thinks she should find a place to rest, but that's really secondary to just... moving.
The purposeless. He doesn't feel that way at the moment though in reality he doesn't feel anything at all. Not in the way that one would expect to feel, at least. His soundless approach continues and when the presence of his baby sister is felt all around him he knows that she is near, the image of his face turning to where he body wanders aimlessly through the trees. (Maul). The figure blinks his milky and indistinct eyes and though his mouth seems to move along with the word it is hazy, the sound itself coming not from his lips but from the air around her, the ground below her, the trees, grass, rocks, everything. It is a soft but strong noise, an attempt from the spirit to draw the girl away from her slow decent into purposelessness.
The voice, unfamiliar in every way, speaking her name causes Maul to grow tense. Uncomfortable. As the apparition brings with it no natural sounds or scents, Maul cannot easily locate the likeness of her elder brother, and that fact makes her discomfort grow. Finally, in a voice that is only a hair away from a growl, she asks, "Who's there?"
There is something else radiating from his sister that another living creature could not easily perceive. The figure does, though, and as his empty face turns fully toward her it seems to struggle to solidify, creating only more ripples in an already indistinct image. (Monster,) he begins again, the sounds around her converging very gently, the grass bending around her paws, (You called me here. What is it?). He stops his forward motion, fearing, if it can be called that, his sister's further retreat from him.
Shortly after the voice begins again, Maul manages to spot the apparition nearby her. Her heart beats rapidly as she responds, first, with fear, before the words and the marking on her brother's vague form causes allows her to finally recognize what is currently speaking to her. Immediately, the fear is replaced by tears, though she does her best to fight them off. "Cael. You're... I..." Unable to find words, Maul instead shakes her head. Called him here? She's not sure that was ever her intention, and if it was... Not like this. As much as she wants her brother back, seeing him like this is heartbreaking for the still-young girl.
The sound of his name elicits a strange response. He ripples again as though a creature splashed across the creek, breaking his reflection, though he slowly shakes his head in response to the girl's words. The action helps to solidify his features a little but like looking into a shallow stream it is hard to trace one's eyes on any hard line around him at all. (Yes,) is all her brother can say at first, growing still for a moment as events are considered. (You may not have thought to, but I heard you. So I came). Like a feather floating down from the sky, his paws brush through the grass as though it wasn't there. In life he would go to her, protect her, but now he can do little more than he is now. He sighs and the tree branches sway slightly. (I'm sorry).
"I hate that-" No. That's not what Maul wants to say. "You didn't have to-" No. That's not right, either. "I miss you, Cael. Even... Even before you... Kein told me. When you came before. Why didn't you-" No. That doesn't matter either. Not anymore. "I've missed you."
(I was selfish). It is a simple answer but it is clear from the change in the air, the heavy ache like just before a thunder storm, that her brother wishes it had been different. (I'm sorry), he reiterates, his figure dropping his head and closing sightless eyes from Maul's form. Some time passes before he lifts his head again, (But I suppose that's why I'm here now. I admit it's late. But I knew you needed me, monster, so I came as best I could). He smiles but the action only causes another ripple making the action impossible to really see.
Maul shakes her head as she tasks a deep breath. It takes a few moments for her to calm herself, but, finally, she says, "I don't... don't blame you, Cael." He is not, after all, the only one who can be accused of selfishness. Would he even be here now if she were not just as selfish? "I just miss you. I just... wish it would have been different." Again, she gives a slight shake of her head, then focuses on her brother's form. Her eyes continue to glisten with tears, but she is not openly crying, at least. "Why did you come, Cael?" Perhaps that came out wrong, as she does not mean to be unappreciative, but if it's only because she has missed him so deeply...
(I think we both wish the same thing, Maul). It would be much easier if his paws could feel the ground underneath them, if his fur could feel the wind brushing by, if he could fully see and hear his baby sister before him. His ears flit in a moment of thought and when he speaks again he takes another step closer, the voice around Maul's ears growing soft and gentle while the figure before her grows a little stronger. (I knew that you needed me), he replies, the palest hint of green melting away the milky white in his eyes, (So I came. I have to make sure my little sister is okay).
Maul looks away from Cael when he steps closer, as though by doing such a thing she could keep him from knowing that tears trail down her cheeks. "But you're not... I need you how you were." It is not a kind thing to say, no matter how Maul tries to soften if by keeping her voice quiet, by keeping this from turning into a confrontation. "I love you, Cael. And I miss you. And... I'm glad you came. But... you don't have to come. The next time that I miss you."
(I can't do that, Maul). His response seems emotionless, hard, but it is the truth and that is what he can and will speak. He means no ill by it and some how knows he should feel that ache in his chest at seeing his sister this way, but he can only see her how she is and be in this world how he is now. He cannot be the way that he was. But there is more in his sister's heart than the pain of loneliness, of longing for her brother. (There is something else. Tell me. While I'm here). He may not be able to comfort her in the way that she wants but perhaps she just needs a place to put her thoughts, a creature to give her words to.
Maul is silent for a time, doing her best to keep her composure and to not say something wrong. After a short while, she responds in little more than a whisper. "Are you staying, Cael? Are you... are you going to watch over your children? Amaranth?" Not for her. She has just said that, somehow, it will be easier on her if she doesn't see him again. Not like this. But to know that some part of him is here... that's important to her, suddenly. She can't say why, but it is.
(I'm always here, Maul, if you remember me). He doesn't really answer the question, though, because he's not really sure that he can. Wherever it was he'd come from before he's not sure and he can't say how long he will be here now or where he will go if he is ever to leave. The mention of his children seems to still the figure and it is some time before he can formulate the words to articulate the thoughts. (I will be with them but they will not know). And neither will their mother. It would be too difficult and wholly unfair to the four of them. Selfish of him.
Maul cannot quite hold herself back any longer. Knowing that nothing more solid than air awaits her, she still ventures a few steps closer to him to try to nuzzle against her spectral brother. "I'm scared, Cael. Terrified. Of... everything beyond my control. Everything. Of..." Slowly, she shakes her head. No. It does her no good to think of the things that have her terrified. Given how limited this time will be, how fleeting her brother's form seems... "It will be easier, knowing you're here." It doesn't matter to her that she knows, logically, what her brother meant. If lying to herself will make her life easier, she'll do it. She always has.
Again he shuts his eyes as if the effort required to keep himself here was so great, and even when Maul approaches he drops his head to return the gesture though his sister feels nothing against her fur and her brother feels nothing but the strain on him to remain. (I'd be worried, Maul, if you weren't afraid. That'd be the biggest mistake of all. But even though you're lost you have to lift your head and keep moving your paws. That's why I'm here. To help you pick them up again. Move. Forward).
It takes effort for the girl to keep up her lie to herself as going through the motions of nuzzling against her brother brings her no feeling at all. After a second, she takes a step back again. "I know, Cael. I know." How could she know anything but that? With the ghosts of memories chasing her through out most of her days, the one thing she does know is she has to keep moving. "I /am/ glad you came, Cael."
(Face them, Maul). And that is all he says when he lifts his head, blinking that indistinct gaze that encompasses his sister. He knows that there is more than what she is telling him for he still feels that undeniable pull from her that brought him here in the first place. Whatever it is that is frightening her, whatever it is that she is running from, her big brother wishes he could stand against them for her. (I can be with you always but I can't fight your fight. I will be there when you do, though).
"I can't." She certainly tried. Maul spent a good many months doing her best to come to terms with all that she just can't quite bring herself to remember. To know. In fact, it was news of her brother's death that destroyed her ability to fight that battle any longer. "I can't, Cael... but I will." After all, she has no choice in the matter. Sooner or later, she will have to face what she has been running from. Just not while she is so preoccupied with mourning, for Cael and for others.
(I will be there when you do), he states again, reaffirming the best he can along with a subtle nod. He wavers further, the action accompanied by a heavy sigh, that same thick and oppresive tension in the air returning. (I'm sorry, Maul. I'm sorry you had to learn the way you did. I'm sorry that you're afraid. I'm sorry I can't help you more. I always did everthing I could for you. I will continue that for as long as I can).
Maul closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, trying to imagine that she can still catch his scent. "One day, Cael... One day I'm going to die... And /then/ you'd better be there. So I can play with my favorite brother again." For the girl who has scarcely played with anyone but Cael, scarcely ever had that kind of peace, the thought of that day is not a frightening one. "I'm always going to miss you... but I'll be okay, Cael. I will."
In life he would have scolded her for speaking like that but now he responds with another nod. (I will be waiting, Maul). It will not be a sad day for brother and sister, and though her brother does not feel that way now, he knows all too well the ache in the girl's heart. That he can feel from her. He won't come again if she doesn't want, but (I will come if you need me), but she won't see him. The urge was too strong this time and pulled him here; perhaps next time it won't be as demanding to him. What is left of her brother begins to fade a little when he lets out another sigh that wraps around them both, as he'd like his paws to do, and it is like looking into that rippling reflection through the sun, harder and harder to see the longer she looks. (You're strong, Maul. I will always admire that).
There is a deep pang of sorrow in the girl's chest as Cael begins to fade, even though she knew it was coming. Her throat tightens, and all she can do is nod at the compliment. She fights the tears until she can no longer make out the faintest trace of her brother's form, then she walks several steps forward to lie down where the spectral form of her brother had been standing.
(I love you, Maul). And it is the last sound that surrounds his sister after he'd faded away, his spectral reflection gone back to wherever he'd been. (It's okay to cry. I won't tell anyone). The last is not heard by the ear but said deep into the girl's heart and where he there he'd lay next to her until she was done crying, chew on her ear, and call her a monster. Those are the last thoughts that her brother imparts to her. And then he's gone again.
Cael - Male Cougar Spirit
Maul - Female Cougar
- Wildflower Drop -
He knew that when he turned from this mountain that his paws would never again grace its soil; what he did not intend so soon was that he would never touch the earth again. There was nothing he could do, though. Not until today. This was not a place he'd expected to see but he is not really seeing anything. He feels Amaranth around him, living and breathing while he is not. He moves through the forest soundlessly. His figure indistinct, rippling just as water does over a smooth pebble at the bottom of a spring stream. Eyes, once green and striking, are cloudy and sightless and he has no use for them now. The only distinction to him as he travels is a slash of red, the remnants of his dyed marking, that eddies with his shape. He stops only once, head lifting at a passing breeze that though he smells nothing at all, directs him to the creature that called him back to his mountain home.
It has been a rough several weeks for Maul. Despite the return of spring, she has been just barely eating enough to keep her post-winter weight steady, and sleep is very nearly just a memory. The once-haunted cougaress has returned to that state, and it hasn't been easy on her. Though exhausted, she is too restless to remain still. She is purposeless, though, in her wandering. The girl's only intention is to remain moving. Somewhere in her mind, she thinks she should find a place to rest, but that's really secondary to just... moving.
The purposeless. He doesn't feel that way at the moment though in reality he doesn't feel anything at all. Not in the way that one would expect to feel, at least. His soundless approach continues and when the presence of his baby sister is felt all around him he knows that she is near, the image of his face turning to where he body wanders aimlessly through the trees. (Maul). The figure blinks his milky and indistinct eyes and though his mouth seems to move along with the word it is hazy, the sound itself coming not from his lips but from the air around her, the ground below her, the trees, grass, rocks, everything. It is a soft but strong noise, an attempt from the spirit to draw the girl away from her slow decent into purposelessness.
The voice, unfamiliar in every way, speaking her name causes Maul to grow tense. Uncomfortable. As the apparition brings with it no natural sounds or scents, Maul cannot easily locate the likeness of her elder brother, and that fact makes her discomfort grow. Finally, in a voice that is only a hair away from a growl, she asks, "Who's there?"
There is something else radiating from his sister that another living creature could not easily perceive. The figure does, though, and as his empty face turns fully toward her it seems to struggle to solidify, creating only more ripples in an already indistinct image. (Monster,) he begins again, the sounds around her converging very gently, the grass bending around her paws, (You called me here. What is it?). He stops his forward motion, fearing, if it can be called that, his sister's further retreat from him.
Shortly after the voice begins again, Maul manages to spot the apparition nearby her. Her heart beats rapidly as she responds, first, with fear, before the words and the marking on her brother's vague form causes allows her to finally recognize what is currently speaking to her. Immediately, the fear is replaced by tears, though she does her best to fight them off. "Cael. You're... I..." Unable to find words, Maul instead shakes her head. Called him here? She's not sure that was ever her intention, and if it was... Not like this. As much as she wants her brother back, seeing him like this is heartbreaking for the still-young girl.
The sound of his name elicits a strange response. He ripples again as though a creature splashed across the creek, breaking his reflection, though he slowly shakes his head in response to the girl's words. The action helps to solidify his features a little but like looking into a shallow stream it is hard to trace one's eyes on any hard line around him at all. (Yes,) is all her brother can say at first, growing still for a moment as events are considered. (You may not have thought to, but I heard you. So I came). Like a feather floating down from the sky, his paws brush through the grass as though it wasn't there. In life he would go to her, protect her, but now he can do little more than he is now. He sighs and the tree branches sway slightly. (I'm sorry).
"I hate that-" No. That's not what Maul wants to say. "You didn't have to-" No. That's not right, either. "I miss you, Cael. Even... Even before you... Kein told me. When you came before. Why didn't you-" No. That doesn't matter either. Not anymore. "I've missed you."
(I was selfish). It is a simple answer but it is clear from the change in the air, the heavy ache like just before a thunder storm, that her brother wishes it had been different. (I'm sorry), he reiterates, his figure dropping his head and closing sightless eyes from Maul's form. Some time passes before he lifts his head again, (But I suppose that's why I'm here now. I admit it's late. But I knew you needed me, monster, so I came as best I could). He smiles but the action only causes another ripple making the action impossible to really see.
Maul shakes her head as she tasks a deep breath. It takes a few moments for her to calm herself, but, finally, she says, "I don't... don't blame you, Cael." He is not, after all, the only one who can be accused of selfishness. Would he even be here now if she were not just as selfish? "I just miss you. I just... wish it would have been different." Again, she gives a slight shake of her head, then focuses on her brother's form. Her eyes continue to glisten with tears, but she is not openly crying, at least. "Why did you come, Cael?" Perhaps that came out wrong, as she does not mean to be unappreciative, but if it's only because she has missed him so deeply...
(I think we both wish the same thing, Maul). It would be much easier if his paws could feel the ground underneath them, if his fur could feel the wind brushing by, if he could fully see and hear his baby sister before him. His ears flit in a moment of thought and when he speaks again he takes another step closer, the voice around Maul's ears growing soft and gentle while the figure before her grows a little stronger. (I knew that you needed me), he replies, the palest hint of green melting away the milky white in his eyes, (So I came. I have to make sure my little sister is okay).
Maul looks away from Cael when he steps closer, as though by doing such a thing she could keep him from knowing that tears trail down her cheeks. "But you're not... I need you how you were." It is not a kind thing to say, no matter how Maul tries to soften if by keeping her voice quiet, by keeping this from turning into a confrontation. "I love you, Cael. And I miss you. And... I'm glad you came. But... you don't have to come. The next time that I miss you."
(I can't do that, Maul). His response seems emotionless, hard, but it is the truth and that is what he can and will speak. He means no ill by it and some how knows he should feel that ache in his chest at seeing his sister this way, but he can only see her how she is and be in this world how he is now. He cannot be the way that he was. But there is more in his sister's heart than the pain of loneliness, of longing for her brother. (There is something else. Tell me. While I'm here). He may not be able to comfort her in the way that she wants but perhaps she just needs a place to put her thoughts, a creature to give her words to.
Maul is silent for a time, doing her best to keep her composure and to not say something wrong. After a short while, she responds in little more than a whisper. "Are you staying, Cael? Are you... are you going to watch over your children? Amaranth?" Not for her. She has just said that, somehow, it will be easier on her if she doesn't see him again. Not like this. But to know that some part of him is here... that's important to her, suddenly. She can't say why, but it is.
(I'm always here, Maul, if you remember me). He doesn't really answer the question, though, because he's not really sure that he can. Wherever it was he'd come from before he's not sure and he can't say how long he will be here now or where he will go if he is ever to leave. The mention of his children seems to still the figure and it is some time before he can formulate the words to articulate the thoughts. (I will be with them but they will not know). And neither will their mother. It would be too difficult and wholly unfair to the four of them. Selfish of him.
Maul cannot quite hold herself back any longer. Knowing that nothing more solid than air awaits her, she still ventures a few steps closer to him to try to nuzzle against her spectral brother. "I'm scared, Cael. Terrified. Of... everything beyond my control. Everything. Of..." Slowly, she shakes her head. No. It does her no good to think of the things that have her terrified. Given how limited this time will be, how fleeting her brother's form seems... "It will be easier, knowing you're here." It doesn't matter to her that she knows, logically, what her brother meant. If lying to herself will make her life easier, she'll do it. She always has.
Again he shuts his eyes as if the effort required to keep himself here was so great, and even when Maul approaches he drops his head to return the gesture though his sister feels nothing against her fur and her brother feels nothing but the strain on him to remain. (I'd be worried, Maul, if you weren't afraid. That'd be the biggest mistake of all. But even though you're lost you have to lift your head and keep moving your paws. That's why I'm here. To help you pick them up again. Move. Forward).
It takes effort for the girl to keep up her lie to herself as going through the motions of nuzzling against her brother brings her no feeling at all. After a second, she takes a step back again. "I know, Cael. I know." How could she know anything but that? With the ghosts of memories chasing her through out most of her days, the one thing she does know is she has to keep moving. "I /am/ glad you came, Cael."
(Face them, Maul). And that is all he says when he lifts his head, blinking that indistinct gaze that encompasses his sister. He knows that there is more than what she is telling him for he still feels that undeniable pull from her that brought him here in the first place. Whatever it is that is frightening her, whatever it is that she is running from, her big brother wishes he could stand against them for her. (I can be with you always but I can't fight your fight. I will be there when you do, though).
"I can't." She certainly tried. Maul spent a good many months doing her best to come to terms with all that she just can't quite bring herself to remember. To know. In fact, it was news of her brother's death that destroyed her ability to fight that battle any longer. "I can't, Cael... but I will." After all, she has no choice in the matter. Sooner or later, she will have to face what she has been running from. Just not while she is so preoccupied with mourning, for Cael and for others.
(I will be there when you do), he states again, reaffirming the best he can along with a subtle nod. He wavers further, the action accompanied by a heavy sigh, that same thick and oppresive tension in the air returning. (I'm sorry, Maul. I'm sorry you had to learn the way you did. I'm sorry that you're afraid. I'm sorry I can't help you more. I always did everthing I could for you. I will continue that for as long as I can).
Maul closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, trying to imagine that she can still catch his scent. "One day, Cael... One day I'm going to die... And /then/ you'd better be there. So I can play with my favorite brother again." For the girl who has scarcely played with anyone but Cael, scarcely ever had that kind of peace, the thought of that day is not a frightening one. "I'm always going to miss you... but I'll be okay, Cael. I will."
In life he would have scolded her for speaking like that but now he responds with another nod. (I will be waiting, Maul). It will not be a sad day for brother and sister, and though her brother does not feel that way now, he knows all too well the ache in the girl's heart. That he can feel from her. He won't come again if she doesn't want, but (I will come if you need me), but she won't see him. The urge was too strong this time and pulled him here; perhaps next time it won't be as demanding to him. What is left of her brother begins to fade a little when he lets out another sigh that wraps around them both, as he'd like his paws to do, and it is like looking into that rippling reflection through the sun, harder and harder to see the longer she looks. (You're strong, Maul. I will always admire that).
There is a deep pang of sorrow in the girl's chest as Cael begins to fade, even though she knew it was coming. Her throat tightens, and all she can do is nod at the compliment. She fights the tears until she can no longer make out the faintest trace of her brother's form, then she walks several steps forward to lie down where the spectral form of her brother had been standing.
(I love you, Maul). And it is the last sound that surrounds his sister after he'd faded away, his spectral reflection gone back to wherever he'd been. (It's okay to cry. I won't tell anyone). The last is not heard by the ear but said deep into the girl's heart and where he there he'd lay next to her until she was done crying, chew on her ear, and call her a monster. Those are the last thoughts that her brother imparts to her. And then he's gone again.