Post by crescendo on Jun 27, 2011 20:55:31 GMT -5
Lone Crabapple Tree
Shawnee, f. wolf, Ute Alpha
Skahla, m. wolf, Ute Alpha
It has only been a couple days since the fateful journey that took them directly to Skahla's dead and dying parents, and the young male is handling everything as well as can possibly be expected. Today, though... today, he is feeling angry, and in order to not take that anger out on his packmates, he has come here to fight, most enthusiastically... with the tree. It was either this, or go snarl at his reflection some more, and the tree is closer than any still waters where he could see that other-wolf. Though the tree itself has endured its fair share of Skahla's worthless anger, the youthful male is currently biting at a stick with none of the innocent playfulness with which he gnawed on sticks when he was younger.
The sudden transition from future Alpha to present Alpha has seemingly taken all the playfulness out of Shawnee. In the last few days, she's either been snappy, withdrawn or stern depending on the situation, the smiles keeping well clear of her face and any attempts to brighten her mood being readily rejected. After the dark end to the young wolves' journey, Shawnee hasn't been in the mood to wander very far from the densite and as a result has taken her moods out on the pack around her. Somewhere she knows that it's not the proper way to handle things and that is the reason she's now walking across the grassland, ears flat against her head and her tail flicking behind her. Better to be alone for a while than to offend the entire pack that she's now responsible for. It seems her plan is about to backfire slightly, as she notices Skahla over by the single tree in the meadow and is immediately torn between moving away in a different direction or taking her anger out of the wolf that for all intents and purposes is her best friend and whom she just recently reconciled with. She knows Skahla has even more to be upset about right now than she does, but her foul mood needs to be vented. "Will you ever grow up?" she almost snarls at the other as she comes up to him.
Skahla seldom, since he reached adolescence, has Skahla ignored the sounds of someone approaching, particularly when he is behaving in such a foolish manner. Today, though... well, Skahla needs his method of escape, too. Especially since, though he is still clearly angry when he looks at Shawnee, he does not growl at her, does not allow himself to be angry with her... or at least, not too angry. The stick still held firmly between his very adult teeth, he mumbles, "You too?" After rolling to his feet, Skahla makes a very deliberate motion of dropping the splintered and frayed stick to the ground before affixing Shawnee with an equally deliberate, and accusatory, look.
One part of Shawnee is just looking for a reason to bark her head off and hoping that Skahla will provide it, but in the back of her mind she knows she'll end up regretting it if it happens. Her neck fur sticking up, she holds back a snarl as Skahla's eyes fix on her. "With all that's happened, all that's happening, you're playing with sticks," she says, ears flicking once before flattening back again. "We're adults now, Skahla, and you're attacking trees!" She takes a step to the side, her body tense as if springloaded.
The last thing Skahla needed, and from Shawnee of all wolves, was this. Someone attacking him for the habit he has had since puphood. His habit of attacking inanimate objects is what started his first real fight, the one that led to Shawnee and Skahla running away for a short time. The difference is that, yes. Now he is an adult, and he can't just run away. He won't. But he doesn't want to fight with her, either. He doesn't want to be angry with her the way he was angry with Askuwheteau, that day. So instead of growling, instead of attacking her, Skahla says, "Why don't you just leave me alone, huh? I wasn't asking for your input, anyway." Oh, the poor, stupid boy. If only his mother were hear to swat him over the head and call him an idiot. But she isn't, and never will be again.
If Skahla needs to be called an idiot, Shawnee will happily take on that responsibility. Right now, that's definitely what she thinks he is. "You idiot," she mutters before her voice rises again. "You'll have to deal with my input whether you want it or not, because in case you missed it, we're the leaders of the pack now and I'll be damned if I'll let you take care of that on your own..!" A growl escapes her, lips pulling back momentarily and teeth showing briefly before she silences herself. They're both in more or less the same position, even if Skahla's situation seems more violently thrust upon him, but in that moment Shawnee can' quite think of it in those terms.
"I'm not asking you to! I'm asking you to go away and leave me alone." Finally, Skahla raises his voice. He does not show his teeth so deliberately as Shawnee does, but there can be no mistaking the fact that he isn't pleased. "Who am I hurting, huh, that you can't let me... let me..." But his words have finally failed him, do all he can do is look away from Shawnee to glare at the stick. The one that, if he had his way, would be condemned to a watery grave, since there is no worse fate than that, in the strange, new-alpha's eyes.
Oh, Shawnee would leave him alone, should have done so the moment she laid eyes on him. Instead here she is, all tense and forcing herself not to jump at the other wolf because what has he done to her? "Let you what?" she spits, nose wrinkling. "Let you be a puppy? Is that what you want to be, Skahla? Just be a pup and never grow up, playing with your sticks and barking at your reflection in the water." The words that next come to her lips might be best kept in, but they fall off her tongue without any stopping them. "I don't get how your parents could think you'd make a good alpha!" Once the words have been said, Shawnee sort of freezes, surprised by her own words and not knowing what kind of reaction to expect from Skahla. There's a shiver going through her body, just barely noticeable.
Skahla doesn't respond much, not at first. He turns his head to look at her, and then for a moment, all he does is stare. Any thoughts of trying not to be angry with the female are long gone, but even so, he finds it very easy to not attack her. How could he genuinely attack her when he is certain that the parents that he had up until a couple days ago would have beaten him senseless if they could even just see that the thought has crossed his mind. So distraught is he, yet, by their loss, that all he can say, when he finally speaks, is, "You want it to yourself? Then go, take it. Maybe my brother will be your mate. He's good at making people feel horrible, and just ask him. He has loads of plans for fighting off bears." Skahla shakes his head, then, and turns from the female. This is certainly doing him no good, and he does not want to be this angry with her. So angry that he feels like running away, just like he would have when he was the pup she accuses him of being.
The longer Skahla is silent, the more uncertain Shawnee grows. He's not doing anything, not saying a word, just looking at her and there is nothing for the slightly younger wolf to react to or bite at. Just that silent stare and she finds that she can't read anything in Skahla's eyes. Maybe it's because she's distraught herself or maybe he really isn't feeling anything in that moment, but she can't tell either way. The longer the silence, the less fierce her anger becomes, evaporating with the passing of seconds until is stirs within her without any means of getting out. When Skahla finally speaks, a flash of fear passes over Shawnee's face before it grows stern, her body tensing up again as the other goes on. When he turns away, Shawnee is caught between the reluctantly relenting anger and the care she actually feels for Skahla underneath all the harsh words she's just thrown at him. "...I don't want it at all," she finally says after another bout of silence, talking to Skahla's back. "I don't want it, but your mother and father thought I was good enough to do it. Apparently, they thought the same about you," she adds, unable to keep the edge out of her words. Normally she'd probably bite Skahla's tail if he turned his back, but now she just stands there, all four paws planted firmly on the ground.
It may be a very long time before this anger that Skahla doesn't want actually goes away, but he finds himself as incapable of walking away from Shawnee when she is speaking to him as he is of attacking her. Though he keeps his back turned, he does not walk away. "It's because I care. I wanted this. Not now, and not... not like this. But I wanted to be alpha." There, the past tense is very appropriate, since right now, he wants nothing of the sort. "I've tried to do what everyone, what you and my mom and everyone, told me I had to do if I was going to lead the pack, how I have to be... how I have to be not me. I've tried, because I want to honour the wolves in the stories they always told us. I want what's best for everyone in the pack. But I can't be not me, Shawnee." The young male's voice trembles as he speaks of his desire and, without spelling it out directly, all of his newfound doubts that he simply can't lead the pack, that he'll never be able to. Doubt, and regret that he didn't discover that doubt until after he was already alpha.
Hearing him speak now is seeing a part of Skahla that Shawnee's witnessed very few times, at least for all she is aware. It's the... responsible, adult Skahla that seems so different from what she's used to. But wait, wasn't this what she was just requesting, that he be adult and all? With an annoyed sigh, brought on by confusion and weariness built up over the last few days, she shakes her head to try and rid it of tangled thoughts, very much in vain. "You're not supposed to be not you - you're supposed to know how to lead the pack with what you've got." She tries to keep the sting out of her voice, unsuccessfully. "What you haven't got anymore is the guidance of your parents, but neither do I." The confession - or what you may call it - is delivered with the same sternness that shows on her face. "You have me and the rest of the pack. And your own brain." Take it or leave it.
"Then why was what I was doing when I wasn't with the rest of the pack matter, Shawnee? Why? No, you've made it clear enough. I'm deficient. Incapable. And you're right. My mother thought so too. So if I want to be the alpha, I have to be not me. But did it hurt you that much to give me a moment to myself, so I wouldn't have to go around snapping and snarling at everyone?" Skahla takes a deep breath, then turns to face Shawnee again. A painful sort of calm has settled over him, since he overcame his desire to run away from this. "You'll fill her paw prints well, you know. My mother's. But I'm not my father. And I don't think I ever will be. But your sister thought I could be enough, and I guess she made me think it too."
Confusion, that's Shawnee's keyword now. She's contradicting herself, both out loud and in her mind, and Skahla's seriousness isn't helping. You can't be angry at someone who's serious, not in the way Shawnee wants to be angry. Skahla is being all collected and not shouting at her. She almost wishes he would, just so she could shout back and get the anger out. Just the other day, she told Skahla that she was willing to try this together with him and now here she is saying she doesn't want anything to do with it - and then sort of offering to help anyway. As Skahla turns back towards her, it's Shawnee's turn to face away once he's done talking. She doesn't feel proud about her constant snapping and snarling and his words have reinforced this feeling. "I don't want to fill anyone's paw prints," she grumbles, more to have something to argue about than to give a useful comment. The lack of anger outlets is making her realise that she's feeling worn and she hangs her head with a sigh.
"You don't have to, you know. And I don't have to." Pained though he is, the young male sits, now. After all, his anguish is mental, not physical, and nothing is likely to soothe it anytime soon. "It's ours now, Shawnee. It took us until it was ours to admit that we don't want it... but it's too late for that. So why can't we treat it like it's ours?" Why can't he attack sticks and growl at the water-wolf? And why can't she... well, do whatever it is she wants to do, even if that thing is yelling at him?
The odd tugging feeling in her chest makes Shawnee wish she'd just walked on by Skahla, not stopped and picked the fight that neither one of them wanted. Shawnee doesn't want to fight, it's just her way of reacting to the things happening and how she finds an outlet for it. It doesn't matter that the grown-ups told her, that mom and dad told her the she shouldn't act like that - right now no one's quite sure what to do, but it's supposed to be Skahla and Shawnee who know. In what feels like a throwback to the foggy clearing, Shawnee takes a hesitant step towards her friend, head still turned away before she finally looks at him again. After that first tentative step and a pause, she then takes the rest of them, hoping her anger just then won't drive Skahla away, closing the distance between them and burrowing her nose into Skahla's neck, taking a few deep breaths and inhaling the scent that is so very familiar to her, almost more familiar than that of her siblings. The anger she feels now isn't directed at Skahla but at the world in general, at fate for dealing the pack such a foul hand. The thought that 'it's not fair' circles in her head, but she's learnt enough to know that it's not a very strong argument in any situation. "...Will they listen to us, Skahla? What do we know?" she eventually mumbles, nose still pressed against his neck with very little movement on her part.
In times past, Skahla would have responded by nuzzling and grooming the female wolf. Now, he is too stung by her words to do so, but he doesn't move away. He couldn't even when he wanted to run away from her, so how should he now? "We have your sister's support. And my brother's. And... well, some of my parents' friends. And besides, Shawnee... you don't have to be the one who snarls and snaps. I can be that one, and they can listen." Long has he considered whether he will stick by his statement, a couple weeks back, that Mori will be the only one to go hungry when winter rolls around. How hard a line is he supposed to draw to compromise being tough, like his father, with his own desires? He's still not sure, but he knows that he can be the one to lay down the law when he thinks it's needed. Which means all that is left to discover is whether he and Shawnee will agree upon when such things are needed.
The lack of response doesn't surprise Shawnee, but the scent of Skahla has calmed her some, given her some focus. Retreating again, breaking contact, she takes a few steps back and regains the serious demeanour she's been prone to as of late. "All we can hope for is for the rest of the summer to be as uneventful as possible. I know I'd appreciate time to settle into this new role." Weary as though she might feel, she's too restless to sit down and therefor remains standing, her posture rigid. There will be time to rest, but that time is not now. "And I suppose you're right," she offers. "It's ours now. Not just the pack, but the legacy of it. Your father pointed out that I have... that I have it in my blood." It sounds almost ridiculous, saying it like that. "And as much as it's ours, we have to protect the old ways too." Shawnee feels way too old right now.
Skahla, on the other hand... well, some part of him understands that the female wolf needs something, though he's not sure what it is, or whether he'll be able to provide it. Certainly, when his own voice was raised, it was not just to give Shawnee the fight she so desperately wanted. So while he, himself, is mourning, he does not push that onto Shawnee. Not right now. And with that escape far out of his reach, even as his mate stands tensely, Skahla lies down once she backs away. "I spent a lot of time listening to stories about your ancestors, Shawnee. And... we'll do fine." No longer is he certain of that, but it seems the sort of thing he should say, anyway.
"Fine will only do for so long." Shawnee's sombre tone of voice surprises her, but she stands by her words. They'll have to do better than fine in the long run - a pack the size of the Ute can't get by on 'fine'. She's feeling more and more that she's not up for this conversation and yet she knows they have to have bigger ones as soon as possible. This particular one didn't come off to a good start though, so maybe it would be wise to take a break and start over when the two of them had had a little pause. With Skahla lying down, Shawnee feels this even stronger and her eyes move over the lawn, scanning the edge of the forest. "I think I'll take a walk along the perimeter," she says, more as an excuse to leave than something derived from her new responsibilities. It's quite some walk, but if she walks in the opposite direction to where their little group went, she figures she'll be fine. "Will you be alright?" The question is posed with detachment, her pale amber eyes glancing back at Skahla just momentarily.
She does ask, at least, and that is worth something, isn't it? Of course it is. While Skahla doubts his answer to that as well, the young male nods. He'll be fine, but... "Be careful, Shawnee." Even for all of his pain, that which she has cause that that which she hasn't, the boy cares for the girl, and were anything to happen to her, especially after what has happened to his parents... Well, then he really would be not so fine. It's all he can do, though. He can't accompany her to keep her safe, because he needs a break from her every bit as much as she needs a break from him.
Standing silent for a moment, her reply to Skahla's words being a nod, Shawnee then starts off towards the forest. She can't say how they ended up like this. Skahla is her best friend, the one she loves, tree-fighting and barking at water-wolves all the same. Even if she'll say that he's useless ever so often, it's just words and she definitely wouldn't want to be without the other. Now they've been thrust into such major responsibilities and they need to get over their individual issues at least enough to be able to work together. Shawnee isn't imagining that there will ever be a time when doesn't fight with Skahla at all, but she sure hopes the road will even out just a little. For now, parting seems like the wisest option - in time, she's hopeful, they will find their way back to the friendship they've shared since puppyhood.
Shawnee, f. wolf, Ute Alpha
Skahla, m. wolf, Ute Alpha
It has only been a couple days since the fateful journey that took them directly to Skahla's dead and dying parents, and the young male is handling everything as well as can possibly be expected. Today, though... today, he is feeling angry, and in order to not take that anger out on his packmates, he has come here to fight, most enthusiastically... with the tree. It was either this, or go snarl at his reflection some more, and the tree is closer than any still waters where he could see that other-wolf. Though the tree itself has endured its fair share of Skahla's worthless anger, the youthful male is currently biting at a stick with none of the innocent playfulness with which he gnawed on sticks when he was younger.
The sudden transition from future Alpha to present Alpha has seemingly taken all the playfulness out of Shawnee. In the last few days, she's either been snappy, withdrawn or stern depending on the situation, the smiles keeping well clear of her face and any attempts to brighten her mood being readily rejected. After the dark end to the young wolves' journey, Shawnee hasn't been in the mood to wander very far from the densite and as a result has taken her moods out on the pack around her. Somewhere she knows that it's not the proper way to handle things and that is the reason she's now walking across the grassland, ears flat against her head and her tail flicking behind her. Better to be alone for a while than to offend the entire pack that she's now responsible for. It seems her plan is about to backfire slightly, as she notices Skahla over by the single tree in the meadow and is immediately torn between moving away in a different direction or taking her anger out of the wolf that for all intents and purposes is her best friend and whom she just recently reconciled with. She knows Skahla has even more to be upset about right now than she does, but her foul mood needs to be vented. "Will you ever grow up?" she almost snarls at the other as she comes up to him.
Skahla seldom, since he reached adolescence, has Skahla ignored the sounds of someone approaching, particularly when he is behaving in such a foolish manner. Today, though... well, Skahla needs his method of escape, too. Especially since, though he is still clearly angry when he looks at Shawnee, he does not growl at her, does not allow himself to be angry with her... or at least, not too angry. The stick still held firmly between his very adult teeth, he mumbles, "You too?" After rolling to his feet, Skahla makes a very deliberate motion of dropping the splintered and frayed stick to the ground before affixing Shawnee with an equally deliberate, and accusatory, look.
One part of Shawnee is just looking for a reason to bark her head off and hoping that Skahla will provide it, but in the back of her mind she knows she'll end up regretting it if it happens. Her neck fur sticking up, she holds back a snarl as Skahla's eyes fix on her. "With all that's happened, all that's happening, you're playing with sticks," she says, ears flicking once before flattening back again. "We're adults now, Skahla, and you're attacking trees!" She takes a step to the side, her body tense as if springloaded.
The last thing Skahla needed, and from Shawnee of all wolves, was this. Someone attacking him for the habit he has had since puphood. His habit of attacking inanimate objects is what started his first real fight, the one that led to Shawnee and Skahla running away for a short time. The difference is that, yes. Now he is an adult, and he can't just run away. He won't. But he doesn't want to fight with her, either. He doesn't want to be angry with her the way he was angry with Askuwheteau, that day. So instead of growling, instead of attacking her, Skahla says, "Why don't you just leave me alone, huh? I wasn't asking for your input, anyway." Oh, the poor, stupid boy. If only his mother were hear to swat him over the head and call him an idiot. But she isn't, and never will be again.
If Skahla needs to be called an idiot, Shawnee will happily take on that responsibility. Right now, that's definitely what she thinks he is. "You idiot," she mutters before her voice rises again. "You'll have to deal with my input whether you want it or not, because in case you missed it, we're the leaders of the pack now and I'll be damned if I'll let you take care of that on your own..!" A growl escapes her, lips pulling back momentarily and teeth showing briefly before she silences herself. They're both in more or less the same position, even if Skahla's situation seems more violently thrust upon him, but in that moment Shawnee can' quite think of it in those terms.
"I'm not asking you to! I'm asking you to go away and leave me alone." Finally, Skahla raises his voice. He does not show his teeth so deliberately as Shawnee does, but there can be no mistaking the fact that he isn't pleased. "Who am I hurting, huh, that you can't let me... let me..." But his words have finally failed him, do all he can do is look away from Shawnee to glare at the stick. The one that, if he had his way, would be condemned to a watery grave, since there is no worse fate than that, in the strange, new-alpha's eyes.
Oh, Shawnee would leave him alone, should have done so the moment she laid eyes on him. Instead here she is, all tense and forcing herself not to jump at the other wolf because what has he done to her? "Let you what?" she spits, nose wrinkling. "Let you be a puppy? Is that what you want to be, Skahla? Just be a pup and never grow up, playing with your sticks and barking at your reflection in the water." The words that next come to her lips might be best kept in, but they fall off her tongue without any stopping them. "I don't get how your parents could think you'd make a good alpha!" Once the words have been said, Shawnee sort of freezes, surprised by her own words and not knowing what kind of reaction to expect from Skahla. There's a shiver going through her body, just barely noticeable.
Skahla doesn't respond much, not at first. He turns his head to look at her, and then for a moment, all he does is stare. Any thoughts of trying not to be angry with the female are long gone, but even so, he finds it very easy to not attack her. How could he genuinely attack her when he is certain that the parents that he had up until a couple days ago would have beaten him senseless if they could even just see that the thought has crossed his mind. So distraught is he, yet, by their loss, that all he can say, when he finally speaks, is, "You want it to yourself? Then go, take it. Maybe my brother will be your mate. He's good at making people feel horrible, and just ask him. He has loads of plans for fighting off bears." Skahla shakes his head, then, and turns from the female. This is certainly doing him no good, and he does not want to be this angry with her. So angry that he feels like running away, just like he would have when he was the pup she accuses him of being.
The longer Skahla is silent, the more uncertain Shawnee grows. He's not doing anything, not saying a word, just looking at her and there is nothing for the slightly younger wolf to react to or bite at. Just that silent stare and she finds that she can't read anything in Skahla's eyes. Maybe it's because she's distraught herself or maybe he really isn't feeling anything in that moment, but she can't tell either way. The longer the silence, the less fierce her anger becomes, evaporating with the passing of seconds until is stirs within her without any means of getting out. When Skahla finally speaks, a flash of fear passes over Shawnee's face before it grows stern, her body tensing up again as the other goes on. When he turns away, Shawnee is caught between the reluctantly relenting anger and the care she actually feels for Skahla underneath all the harsh words she's just thrown at him. "...I don't want it at all," she finally says after another bout of silence, talking to Skahla's back. "I don't want it, but your mother and father thought I was good enough to do it. Apparently, they thought the same about you," she adds, unable to keep the edge out of her words. Normally she'd probably bite Skahla's tail if he turned his back, but now she just stands there, all four paws planted firmly on the ground.
It may be a very long time before this anger that Skahla doesn't want actually goes away, but he finds himself as incapable of walking away from Shawnee when she is speaking to him as he is of attacking her. Though he keeps his back turned, he does not walk away. "It's because I care. I wanted this. Not now, and not... not like this. But I wanted to be alpha." There, the past tense is very appropriate, since right now, he wants nothing of the sort. "I've tried to do what everyone, what you and my mom and everyone, told me I had to do if I was going to lead the pack, how I have to be... how I have to be not me. I've tried, because I want to honour the wolves in the stories they always told us. I want what's best for everyone in the pack. But I can't be not me, Shawnee." The young male's voice trembles as he speaks of his desire and, without spelling it out directly, all of his newfound doubts that he simply can't lead the pack, that he'll never be able to. Doubt, and regret that he didn't discover that doubt until after he was already alpha.
Hearing him speak now is seeing a part of Skahla that Shawnee's witnessed very few times, at least for all she is aware. It's the... responsible, adult Skahla that seems so different from what she's used to. But wait, wasn't this what she was just requesting, that he be adult and all? With an annoyed sigh, brought on by confusion and weariness built up over the last few days, she shakes her head to try and rid it of tangled thoughts, very much in vain. "You're not supposed to be not you - you're supposed to know how to lead the pack with what you've got." She tries to keep the sting out of her voice, unsuccessfully. "What you haven't got anymore is the guidance of your parents, but neither do I." The confession - or what you may call it - is delivered with the same sternness that shows on her face. "You have me and the rest of the pack. And your own brain." Take it or leave it.
"Then why was what I was doing when I wasn't with the rest of the pack matter, Shawnee? Why? No, you've made it clear enough. I'm deficient. Incapable. And you're right. My mother thought so too. So if I want to be the alpha, I have to be not me. But did it hurt you that much to give me a moment to myself, so I wouldn't have to go around snapping and snarling at everyone?" Skahla takes a deep breath, then turns to face Shawnee again. A painful sort of calm has settled over him, since he overcame his desire to run away from this. "You'll fill her paw prints well, you know. My mother's. But I'm not my father. And I don't think I ever will be. But your sister thought I could be enough, and I guess she made me think it too."
Confusion, that's Shawnee's keyword now. She's contradicting herself, both out loud and in her mind, and Skahla's seriousness isn't helping. You can't be angry at someone who's serious, not in the way Shawnee wants to be angry. Skahla is being all collected and not shouting at her. She almost wishes he would, just so she could shout back and get the anger out. Just the other day, she told Skahla that she was willing to try this together with him and now here she is saying she doesn't want anything to do with it - and then sort of offering to help anyway. As Skahla turns back towards her, it's Shawnee's turn to face away once he's done talking. She doesn't feel proud about her constant snapping and snarling and his words have reinforced this feeling. "I don't want to fill anyone's paw prints," she grumbles, more to have something to argue about than to give a useful comment. The lack of anger outlets is making her realise that she's feeling worn and she hangs her head with a sigh.
"You don't have to, you know. And I don't have to." Pained though he is, the young male sits, now. After all, his anguish is mental, not physical, and nothing is likely to soothe it anytime soon. "It's ours now, Shawnee. It took us until it was ours to admit that we don't want it... but it's too late for that. So why can't we treat it like it's ours?" Why can't he attack sticks and growl at the water-wolf? And why can't she... well, do whatever it is she wants to do, even if that thing is yelling at him?
The odd tugging feeling in her chest makes Shawnee wish she'd just walked on by Skahla, not stopped and picked the fight that neither one of them wanted. Shawnee doesn't want to fight, it's just her way of reacting to the things happening and how she finds an outlet for it. It doesn't matter that the grown-ups told her, that mom and dad told her the she shouldn't act like that - right now no one's quite sure what to do, but it's supposed to be Skahla and Shawnee who know. In what feels like a throwback to the foggy clearing, Shawnee takes a hesitant step towards her friend, head still turned away before she finally looks at him again. After that first tentative step and a pause, she then takes the rest of them, hoping her anger just then won't drive Skahla away, closing the distance between them and burrowing her nose into Skahla's neck, taking a few deep breaths and inhaling the scent that is so very familiar to her, almost more familiar than that of her siblings. The anger she feels now isn't directed at Skahla but at the world in general, at fate for dealing the pack such a foul hand. The thought that 'it's not fair' circles in her head, but she's learnt enough to know that it's not a very strong argument in any situation. "...Will they listen to us, Skahla? What do we know?" she eventually mumbles, nose still pressed against his neck with very little movement on her part.
In times past, Skahla would have responded by nuzzling and grooming the female wolf. Now, he is too stung by her words to do so, but he doesn't move away. He couldn't even when he wanted to run away from her, so how should he now? "We have your sister's support. And my brother's. And... well, some of my parents' friends. And besides, Shawnee... you don't have to be the one who snarls and snaps. I can be that one, and they can listen." Long has he considered whether he will stick by his statement, a couple weeks back, that Mori will be the only one to go hungry when winter rolls around. How hard a line is he supposed to draw to compromise being tough, like his father, with his own desires? He's still not sure, but he knows that he can be the one to lay down the law when he thinks it's needed. Which means all that is left to discover is whether he and Shawnee will agree upon when such things are needed.
The lack of response doesn't surprise Shawnee, but the scent of Skahla has calmed her some, given her some focus. Retreating again, breaking contact, she takes a few steps back and regains the serious demeanour she's been prone to as of late. "All we can hope for is for the rest of the summer to be as uneventful as possible. I know I'd appreciate time to settle into this new role." Weary as though she might feel, she's too restless to sit down and therefor remains standing, her posture rigid. There will be time to rest, but that time is not now. "And I suppose you're right," she offers. "It's ours now. Not just the pack, but the legacy of it. Your father pointed out that I have... that I have it in my blood." It sounds almost ridiculous, saying it like that. "And as much as it's ours, we have to protect the old ways too." Shawnee feels way too old right now.
Skahla, on the other hand... well, some part of him understands that the female wolf needs something, though he's not sure what it is, or whether he'll be able to provide it. Certainly, when his own voice was raised, it was not just to give Shawnee the fight she so desperately wanted. So while he, himself, is mourning, he does not push that onto Shawnee. Not right now. And with that escape far out of his reach, even as his mate stands tensely, Skahla lies down once she backs away. "I spent a lot of time listening to stories about your ancestors, Shawnee. And... we'll do fine." No longer is he certain of that, but it seems the sort of thing he should say, anyway.
"Fine will only do for so long." Shawnee's sombre tone of voice surprises her, but she stands by her words. They'll have to do better than fine in the long run - a pack the size of the Ute can't get by on 'fine'. She's feeling more and more that she's not up for this conversation and yet she knows they have to have bigger ones as soon as possible. This particular one didn't come off to a good start though, so maybe it would be wise to take a break and start over when the two of them had had a little pause. With Skahla lying down, Shawnee feels this even stronger and her eyes move over the lawn, scanning the edge of the forest. "I think I'll take a walk along the perimeter," she says, more as an excuse to leave than something derived from her new responsibilities. It's quite some walk, but if she walks in the opposite direction to where their little group went, she figures she'll be fine. "Will you be alright?" The question is posed with detachment, her pale amber eyes glancing back at Skahla just momentarily.
She does ask, at least, and that is worth something, isn't it? Of course it is. While Skahla doubts his answer to that as well, the young male nods. He'll be fine, but... "Be careful, Shawnee." Even for all of his pain, that which she has cause that that which she hasn't, the boy cares for the girl, and were anything to happen to her, especially after what has happened to his parents... Well, then he really would be not so fine. It's all he can do, though. He can't accompany her to keep her safe, because he needs a break from her every bit as much as she needs a break from him.
Standing silent for a moment, her reply to Skahla's words being a nod, Shawnee then starts off towards the forest. She can't say how they ended up like this. Skahla is her best friend, the one she loves, tree-fighting and barking at water-wolves all the same. Even if she'll say that he's useless ever so often, it's just words and she definitely wouldn't want to be without the other. Now they've been thrust into such major responsibilities and they need to get over their individual issues at least enough to be able to work together. Shawnee isn't imagining that there will ever be a time when doesn't fight with Skahla at all, but she sure hopes the road will even out just a little. For now, parting seems like the wisest option - in time, she's hopeful, they will find their way back to the friendship they've shared since puppyhood.