Post by Kvatch on May 29, 2012 5:09:50 GMT -5
| Hadir, a adolescent male wolf |
| Brutal, a male wolf |
| Ahiga, a male wolf |
Waterfall Pool
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Hadir has been up to pretty much nothing since he arrived in this spot. He had heard that Chewy had had her pups, but hadn't really been in to see them. He didn't want to be a bother. He has always been sensitive to being a bother to others because well he has always been a bother to others from the time he was small. He has recieved a great deal of attention due to his disabilities, but the attention hasn't been something that he has sought out or wanted, he has just wanted to be normal like everyone else, but that is something that has been denied him. Presently he is sitting in the spot that he has claimed for his own. He had smelled that Alth and Ahiga had come back but has not really spoken to either of them, though he is curious to hear what they have to say. Hopefully its a bit of good news, the group could certainly use some.
It seems like a long time since that day on the hill, when two strange wolves came to the aid of wolves who were equally strangers, but still fought with the same fervent passion as the next wolf. It seemed a honorable thing, glorious even, despite their failure to win the day. But now, after gratitude had been expressed in a manner that seemed almost like a requisition, the long days have passed and each morning finds the two strange wolves acknowledged only in that manner- as strangers. Indeed, it would be near impossible for anyone to mistake the two brothers as one of the Ute, in part because they have made no endeavors that might lead to this illusion, hunting only for themselves and seemingly always just present in passing. And this, only because it feels expected. Overtures of friendliness, as it is perceived by Brutal, appear to get the whole group up in alarm, as if they suspect some wicked or underhanded trick. Hypocrites, as Grim rather untastefully put it in words of his own choosing, who preach about trust and warm welcome from on one side of their face, only to snarl out the other. The snarling bit, Brutal is fairly sure is deserved, at least where Grim is concerned. But he could not argue that those of Ute quite clearly suffered from a severe case of biased suspicion. The truth, as it appears to Brutal, is simple. The brothers are unwelcomed. Why stay then? It is this question, as raised by a anxious and indignant Grim, that has been bouncing around in Brutal's dense skull for many days now. Yet for all the thought he's put into it, the dark coated male is no closer to a reason then he was days earlier. Inevitably, it has put Brutal in something of a dour mood, broody and even more withdrawn than usual. However, upon discovering that the young adolescent Althaea had returned, this did something to improve his dismal outlook and it is with intentions of seeking her company, that Brutal even bothers venturing back to the proximity of the pack. He is not alone however, for the big male trots along with a older fawn in his jaws, but one glance tells that the creature maybe caught, but is far from dead.
Hadir watches the arrival of the other wolf. He hasn't been exactly sure what to make of these wolves since they came. They certainly are large and powerful, and he is glad that they went up against the dogs with the pack, but there is something scary about them that he hasn't been able to put a paw on just yet. There is something there that just doens't make sense and perhaps that is the reason that the two brothers have been met with such a welcome. This is, after all, hardly Ute's best moment. Of course Hadir has little point of reference when it comes to such things. He watches the wolf as he comes closer and to his surprise and probably no small amount of horror sees that the 'kill' he is carrying isn't dead. Now Hadir sort of lives with death as something thats always right next door and he has learned a long time ago not to fear it since there is little he can do to stop it. He accepted his own death, but that doesn't mean that we toy with it or play with it, or make nice with it. Its still something that is solemn and serious. He gets himself to his paws and wanders over toward the wolf. As far as he is concerned the fawn has had quite enough suffering and should be rewarded for it, not punished further, "Let it go." he states simply.
As it were, Brutal knows even less about Hadir and his affliction than Hadir might know of Brutal, which isn't a whole lot. For that matter, the burly male isn't even sure they've met properly or even exchanged a glance, which subsequently and near immediate causes the dark, wrecked visage of the northern wolf to become shaped with a expression that borders between casual interest, and then something of incredulous disbelief. Seriously? Did this young wolf just tell him to 'let it go'? As blatantly disrespectful as the whelp's preconceptions are, anger finds no place upon the face of the male and if there had been room for mild annoyance, the hulking brute lets something more akin to confusion take it's place. With the older fawn still held in his jaws, Brutal takes a obvious glance around, looking well past Hadir, even as he approaches. Though when his searching eyes find nothing of the young she-wolf, Althaea, for whom the lively prize was to be given, disappointment dampens Brutal's moment of sunshine and it is a cloudy wolf that is glimpsed when he brings his attention back to Hadir. Meeting the youth's gaze solidly, Brutal stares down at him with glowering yellow eyes that narrow a fraction, as if to express to the young male Brutal's feelings of misfortune, that here should be this surly adolescent and not his bright sister. Grunt. Also, a closer inspection would reveal that Brutal's living 'kill' hasn't nearly suffered, save for a bit of wolf drool and a gimpy crooked front leg, that looks old and now healed terribly wrong. Mostly, the thing just seems abject in that it's caught in the first place. However, as requested, Brutal lowers his head and gently slacks his jaws, leaving the older fawn resting on the ground, where it lays quite still, but alert and wary. As for the hulking wolf himself, he eases back on his haunches, yellow eyes still fixed upon the intrusive youth, "Killing it, is the true kindness."
Hadir has absolutely no objection to hunting what so ever. He would love to be able to be learning how to hunt and all that sort of thing, but there is hunting and then there is torture. If Brutal had killed the creature and brought it back for Alth that would be a whole different matter entirely. Hadir would have welcomed that. But to bring a hurt creature back to the packs area...alive...and in terror doesn't really fit anywhere into his idea of kindness, "Well then you should have killed it and spared it the suffering. How would you like it if something got you by the neck and drug you around intent on killing you at some point later when it felt like it." He isn't really sure what to do now. His heart goes out to the fawn and with that let he really isn't sure that there is anything for it. If there was a healer around maybe they could find a way to fix it, but he doesn't know where he would go about finding one of those. Could they even do something about this? He looks uncertain. What he is certain about, however, is that this poor fawn has suffered quite sufficiently. No one should have to live in terror like that. For the moment all he can do is put himself between the deer and the Brutal wolf. He is going to have a word with Ikuna and the others about this.
It is safe to say, that for all of Hadir's sympathetic passion in regards to the older fawn's plight, Brutal remains sufficiently unconvinced. Not because he is the heartless bastard Hadir seemingly would like to label him, or even that the feelings expressed in consideration of the creature are thought absurd by the large male. No, Brutal is unconvinced because the adolescent has chosen to be dismayed over a cold reality. Still, something about the youth's affinity for saving the young yearling any amount of suffering piques in Brutal a strange curiosity, because to survive, is to kill; no hunt is ever without fear and torment, even for the very small field mouse who's life is snuffed with a single bite. Still, the massive wolf wades carefully into these turbulent waters, because clearly, this young male is mentally unbalanced. This does not, however, prevent Brutal from speaking plainly to the adolescent, the inflections in his words the same as a teacher to a pupil. "Nothing about life and the struggle to preserve it is ever benevolent, boy. To live and breathe is to suffer, to endure, and to know that death is ever lurking. Does it not occur to you that we are all held at the throat? That every creature, ever born, feels the teeth of death ever tightening with that first, fateful gasp of air? Which, from hence forth, we continue to take still, well knowing that whether swift or dragged out to the bitter dregs of old age, the promise of death is assured.
The end." Brutal's ears flatten ever so slightly, his face creased with lines that tell his age as he drops his gaze to look upon the fawn between them, who doesn't appear quite so tormented as Hadir seems intent on believing and in fact, is content to just lay there and absently chew, pausing only ever so often to turn a ear at the voices around it. "As for this fawn, fate, not I, have been unkind to it. It's leg is misshapen, it has fallen behind it's mother, who has likely born a new one, and now it knows death is coming for it. Either by the long suffering of eventual starvation or the merciful fangs of a death more tangible. Why do you think it won't run? Will it struggle? Yes, it will. But that is the design that is life and the ludacrosity that is death, isn't it?"
For all of Brutal's sophistry about the matter it seems clear to Hadir that bringing a young creature away from its mother, no matter what condition it was in would cause it to be fearful, and that is most unnecessary in his opinion. Brutal could have just killed the creature and dragged it here if thats what he wanted to do. He could have easily done so. As a matter of fact if he wanted to he could have done so without the young fawn even knowing what hit it. There are times when he wishes that someone would have done that for him, but that time is long passed, "I know because I'm dying." he says simply. He has never been shy about discussing it. He brings it up alot, but none of the others really wanted to talk to him about it. Miakoda did a nice job discussing it though and didn't play games with him. There are some things that can't be fixed easily, if they can be fixed at all, "So you don't have to lecture me about death. I've been living with death since I was little." He isn't sad about it or particularly angry. It just is, "You didn't have to drag the fawn here /alive/. You could have just ended it suffering but you didn't." This is just unacceptable in his opinion.
Brutal could have done a lot of things differently in his life, but at this particular moment, the proper way to deal with the death of a weak fawn for which fate has held no favor, is the very last of his concerns. And why should it be? Life has never been as generous for Brutal as Hadir insist that it should be for this nameless yearling, and more to the point, is that life in general is rarely so merciful as this! It brings the massive wolf to frown down at the indifferent creature, the slight furrowing of his brows bordering on the essence of a scowl. Not that Brutal is long afforded his moment of discontent in his own private matter, for Hadir's curt and simple explanation catches the large wolf off guard. Its unexpected, to be sure, but the reaction it gains might be equally surprising for Hadir, because there isn't the slightest flicker of sympathy remotely expressed. No condolences, or even a curious request of explanation. Instead, Brutal just blinks, smirks, and lofts a brow to pose only one, simple question, "And?" The big wolf shifts his weight some, ears perking forward as he seems to adjust his assessment of the young adolescent. "You don't listen so well, do you?" he goes on to say, as if to put words to this new observation of his. "We are all good as dead, just some of us before others. I agree that useless suffering is cruel, but so long as the dying can keep on living and fend for themselves, what is there to fuss over? This fawn," Brutal reminds, reaching a paw out to bump it's hindquarters, which startles the animal enough to jump up, only to stumble awkwardly with it's crookedly grown leg and ugly healed stifle, where upon it promptly lays back down, "-cannot." Brutal's yellow gaze hardens as he turns his great head to look at Hadir, "Also, just so we're clear, I didn't 'drag' it here. I carried the poor thing." Rising up off his thick haunches, the black wolf wanders a short distance away, where he resettles himself into a more comfortable and casual sprawl, though his attention stays on the young male. "So...if you are dying and the fawn is dying, which of you is suffering cruelly? Can you fend for yourself, boy? Or are you just like that fawn, hoping someone will eventually come along it do it quick like? Well, here's your chance. Give it the death you feel it's so deserving."
Hadir wants no sympathy or condolances. He has had his fill of both of those things and they have done him little good. He doens't want any more for show pitying looks or fake kind words. He just wants the truth and the truth of it is that one day soon he won't be here. However, he does feel something for this wolf and it isn't anger or hatred. Its pity. What kind of wolf must he be that he can't even see the truth behind what he has been saying. It must be a pathetic existance indeed to just eat and exist and go on. And do it all again the next day...and the next day...and again the next day, "Are you so sure that you are talking about me or the fawn. Or are you talking about yourself? I saw the way that you fought those dogs. That wasn't your first time doing something like that and if I'm guessing right not all the blood you've spilled in your life was for a good cause or innocent. I'm betting you're literally drenched in blood. And maybe an ending is what you are looking for? huh?" If he is talking about death or something else he doesn't elaborate. As for the fawn he has no idea what to do with it. He has never really killed anything before and it isn't really the way that he wanted to have that happen. Besides he isn't going to let Brutal be the one to goad him into doing anything, "A life without mercy is no life at all. If you have none in you then you are already dead."
Well, at least there is that. Because Hadir will find nothing of the sort from Brutal, at least when it comes to matters of living and dying. Brutal will express sympathy for a great many things, such as the loss of home and family, or sympathy for the ill treated and abused. But he has no room for those resigned to death, without understanding that it takes just that, to live. As it were, the conversation doesn't quite makes it to this defense, at least not yet. For the massive male is fair in this debate, allowing the younger wolf to speak his own feelings and thoughts, though the path Hadir now decides to trek down is a dangerous one, lurking with all manners of demons and shadows he knows nothing about. In turn, this causes those dark figures to loom up inside Brutal's mind as the adolescent continues to extract his own conclusion on the large male's behalf, all the while with the giant of a wolf tensing beneath his rugged pelt. Though it isn't until Hadir accuses Brutal of being drenched in blood, particularly innocent blood, that all that simmering comes to a very explosive head, and if not for the righteous fire that flashes forth to burn wildly behind those yellow eyes, Brutal would even be taken back by his reaction. Which is, as it were, both horrific and damning- considering the brother's tedious relationship with those of Ute already. He'll probably pay for it later. Because it is with a great big leap and a swiftness beguiled by size that Brutal launches himself at the young feeble male, roaring angrily as he uses a heavy paw and broad chest to bowl the boy over, attempting to pin him beneath his bulk. In a instant, even before the scattering of leaves can settle, Brutal's scarred visage is there snarling down into the face of the youth, "Do /NOT/ pass judgment on me, boy! You know /nothing/ of true suffering and the desperation for mercy that follows!" Despite the angry snarl, something else causes the massive wolf's rough voice to crack, beneath which is heard a choke of a sadness unforgotten and he reins in some of his temper. "The blood split by my fangs has only /ever/ been in defense of the innocent, the foolishly ignorant, and my own right to continue to exist in this world. I have only ever sacrificed myself and you know what I got as my reward? Betrayal. My mate shot dead. My offspring ripped to shreds by dogs, who used them for playthings. I had to watch my first born son hung to a tree limb by his tiny front paws, after a hunterman drove shining sticks through flesh and bone, to let him dangle there through the night, to cry and howl for mercy, so that /I/ might come to give it." Brutal pauses here, his eyes full of painful memories, though his lips still quiver with the vestiges of a snarl, but instead, resign to curl with a sneer, "Only Once. Once, have I ever bathed in the blood of others and not care how much of it stained my fur. And I enjoyed /every/ /last/ /second/. The dogs. The man. I could not make them suffer long enough." He gives a small snort of good riddance, stepping off from Hadir as if it where no fault of his own that the young wolf should be laying there beneath him. "It is not death I want, but mercy for this life. Can you give it to me?" Brutal gives his big head a rueful shake, "We cannot chose what stays and what fades away, nor can we walk out on our own stories. I envy you, boy. If only we each could be so lucky to know how our story might end." Walking back to his respective spot, Brutal looks all the more dejected and lonesome, flopping down with a heavy sigh, looking very much like a wolf just waiting for the repercussions to start rolling in. In the mean time, he looks with dismiss to the fawn, who seem no more alarmed than before. "And why don't you stop being a preachy sissy and kill that miserable thing?" he huffs, "Or are you so pathetic that you'll just let someone else do it? Save you the atrocity of it all, cause you don't want the blood on your paws, but you'll still eat the flesh guilt free. Life for a life. Then again, maybe we /should/ save it for someone worth feeding, who ain't looking to kick off tomorrow." And this is how eating disorders start, folks.
Hadir was really not expecting the reaction that he recieved from the wolf, and so is consequently knocked over with little effort on the part of the other wolf. For the first few moments of 'attack' he is just so shocked that most of Brutal's recounting of his own personal history is more or less lost on the young wolf. As he is being screamed at fear rises in his chest and as it has done so many times before he can feel pain growing in his chest as his heart struggles to keep up. He winces in pain, though this is likely to be unnoticed by Brutal who is most likely far more content on getting his story out, a story that the young wolf has really heard almost nothing off. Doubtless if he would have heard it he would have felt far more pity for him, but as it stands the only thing he really knows at the moment is his own pain. After Brutal gets off and moves back to where he was sitting he stays where he is and curls up a bit having a bit of difficulty breathing. This has happened to him many times before, but it doesn't get any easier. He is never sure when he is going to have the final one that will end his life. As Brutal finishes his comments he tries to lift his head and howl for help, but the little howl is likely not to reach very far, "Help me..." he says softly. There really isn't much that he can do, besides try to calm himself as best as he can, which isn't easy after a display like that. The deer is largely forgotten at the present moment.
At the Waterfall Pool, Hadir howls.
Indeed, in his rage and rather unceremonious and equally unintentional venting, Brutal didn't notice the subtle signs of distress and pain coming from Hadir. But then, why would he even look for them? To his knowledge, he was doing nothing to physically harm the adolescent, though the crush of weight likely wasn't the most comfortable sensation, but still, nothing to get alarmed over. The fact is, Brutal knows nothing of Hadir's heart condition, not even through rumor. It had only been gleaned through conversation between Ute wolves that he was fragile, which Brutal assumed to be sickly and dying, not breakable and dying. Even when Hadir squeaks out his little howl does the massive male fail to react, save for a small frown. Already he's wanting to tattle to the others about the big bad wolf pushing him over? Geeze, whatever happened to waiting for a chance to fabricate and inflate the details of abuse? It isn't until the young adolescent whimpers out his plea for assistance that Brutal's head perks up and his expression becomes one of mild concern for the writhing youth, "Help you...?" He rises up, taking a tentative step back towards Hadir, "Whats wrong?" Well, crap. Doesn't this just figure. Thick ears lay back and Brutal's hulking figure advances forward, head lowering to sniff at him, confusion clearly taking a place on Brutal's face now. Keen ears can hear the rapid whooshing of the young wolf's heart, though the burly male has no real grounds to suspect the vital organ as the cause, but it does not stop him from considering a way to calm it. In all respects, it appears to Brutal like Hadir's having a nervous breakdown. And here he thought he was the one with nerve issues and brain twitches. "Here now, push up lad." he orders in a firm voice, though this time around it is gentle, spoken with a authority that comforts, rather than terrifies. Brutal's stout muzzle is brought to seize the smaller frame of the adolescent by a thick fold of scruff near his shoulders to help pull him up, "Thiff way." is the dark wolf's next muffled order, taking a step in the direction of the pool. Cold water. It helps calm a raging, pounding heart that feels like it might explode- something Brutal knows by experience. Funny that the retelling of that experience is what should incite Hadir's strange panic in the first place. Though, Brutal is fairly sure the manhandling bit didn't help, either. Ahem. Perhaps more ironic, is that for all of Hadir's squirming and desperate cries next to it, the young yearling deer the youth has been bent on saving only blinks at the whimpering wolf, rises up to regard him in a manner that suggest the creature is a bit put off, then hobbles off on his crooked leg a short distance to graze on some shoots of spring grass.
Hadir is not really helped by this, he doesn't really know what is going on this time. This whole thing seems to be worse than it was before. He does the only thing that he can do really and promptly passes out. He isn't dead, but he isn't very lively either. In all liklihood he will live through this moment, but for the present moment he is completely out of it. All attempts to calm the situation failing.
Ahiga has arrived.
A howl. Not a particularly loud one, but a howl of distress. The tone is understood, and that is enough to bring Ahiga back to the waterfall pool. The young wolf has returned from his excursion with the Cerulean not long ago, yet he has not been sighted much since his return. But it takes just this to bring him back to the pack's gathering place. A place he's avoided for whatever reason. Hadir needs help. With his ears pressed forward, Ahiga can be seen loping up from downriver, eyes wide and alert, pawsteps quick and head held low. What he comes upon is difficult to decipher. Brutal, who for all intents and purposes, is in a gray area of friend or foe. Hadir, fallen on the ground. Huh. Well maybe it isn't /too/ difficult to piece together. It's the "why" that may elude him. But! His young packmate who called is down. Brutal is not, and thus yellow eyes are trained upon him as he stalks forward, hackles raising and growl rumbling from deep within his chest. "What...did you do?"
The state of Hadir's awareness, or rather lack of, is immediately recognized by Brutal the moment that the adolescent goes limp. And even though he could effortlessly drag the unconscious male to the cool water, the urgency for it now seems to have diminished, at least somewhat. With a frustrated grunt, Brutal lowers his head to carefully release his hold, laying Hadir softly down instead of just letting the poor male keel over. Taking a small step back in order to consider the situation, the burly male's gaze lingers on the smaller youth for a moment, a look of 'what now' clearly caught on his face. Though he isn't afforded much time to do any amount of thinking, much less reacting, before Ahiga is suddenly there. His dark muzzle and ears are quick to turn in the direction of the young adult and it is with no small surprise that he should find Ahiga bristled and looking suspiciously alarmed. And wow, already with the accusations? To be fair, Brutal's response is as genuinely bewildered as the next wolf's would be, "I didn't do anything much. Gave him a bit of a fright, I guess. Next thing I know, he's laying there curled on the ground and asking for help." Brutal gives his massive shoulders a helpless shrug and feeling very much the part. "Thought I'd take him to the cool water, cause his heart is beating fast, but well, as you can see, he didn't last that long. Still breathing, though." The last is added as if in after thought, as if to ensure the worried and defensive Ute wolf of the good news that, hey, at least he isn't dead. Yet. Brutal's not sure he wants to stick around to wait and see what comes of it either. Not because he's suffering from guilt or afraid of the blame that no doubt is destined to come his way, but simply because Brutal just isn't in the mood for any of it. He's had enough talk of life, death, and the fairness of it all to last him for one day, this is for damn sure. Brutal spares a considerate glance toward the limp body of the youth before turning his regards back to Ahiga, "I guess you know more aboutthis than I, so I'll leave you to it." he says, though a bit more is mumbled as a following remark, dismissive, as it were. "I only know one cure for the dying." With a small bit of hesitation, just to ensure that Ahiga isn't going to fly off the handle and come at him right now, Brutal moves away to head toward the woods, though a pause is given as he recalls the young yearling left grazing nearby, who once more has laid back down in a small patch of ferns in the effort to ease the pain of a crooked leg healed badly. Yellow eyes narrow down upon it and a low growl rumbles quietly in his chest, before Brutal turns and walks away, leaving the creature there to face it's future-less life, letting it go to live and suffer and wish for death long before death comes for it. To hell with mercy. Why should some have it and others not?
| Brutal, a male wolf |
| Ahiga, a male wolf |
Waterfall Pool
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Hadir has been up to pretty much nothing since he arrived in this spot. He had heard that Chewy had had her pups, but hadn't really been in to see them. He didn't want to be a bother. He has always been sensitive to being a bother to others because well he has always been a bother to others from the time he was small. He has recieved a great deal of attention due to his disabilities, but the attention hasn't been something that he has sought out or wanted, he has just wanted to be normal like everyone else, but that is something that has been denied him. Presently he is sitting in the spot that he has claimed for his own. He had smelled that Alth and Ahiga had come back but has not really spoken to either of them, though he is curious to hear what they have to say. Hopefully its a bit of good news, the group could certainly use some.
It seems like a long time since that day on the hill, when two strange wolves came to the aid of wolves who were equally strangers, but still fought with the same fervent passion as the next wolf. It seemed a honorable thing, glorious even, despite their failure to win the day. But now, after gratitude had been expressed in a manner that seemed almost like a requisition, the long days have passed and each morning finds the two strange wolves acknowledged only in that manner- as strangers. Indeed, it would be near impossible for anyone to mistake the two brothers as one of the Ute, in part because they have made no endeavors that might lead to this illusion, hunting only for themselves and seemingly always just present in passing. And this, only because it feels expected. Overtures of friendliness, as it is perceived by Brutal, appear to get the whole group up in alarm, as if they suspect some wicked or underhanded trick. Hypocrites, as Grim rather untastefully put it in words of his own choosing, who preach about trust and warm welcome from on one side of their face, only to snarl out the other. The snarling bit, Brutal is fairly sure is deserved, at least where Grim is concerned. But he could not argue that those of Ute quite clearly suffered from a severe case of biased suspicion. The truth, as it appears to Brutal, is simple. The brothers are unwelcomed. Why stay then? It is this question, as raised by a anxious and indignant Grim, that has been bouncing around in Brutal's dense skull for many days now. Yet for all the thought he's put into it, the dark coated male is no closer to a reason then he was days earlier. Inevitably, it has put Brutal in something of a dour mood, broody and even more withdrawn than usual. However, upon discovering that the young adolescent Althaea had returned, this did something to improve his dismal outlook and it is with intentions of seeking her company, that Brutal even bothers venturing back to the proximity of the pack. He is not alone however, for the big male trots along with a older fawn in his jaws, but one glance tells that the creature maybe caught, but is far from dead.
Hadir watches the arrival of the other wolf. He hasn't been exactly sure what to make of these wolves since they came. They certainly are large and powerful, and he is glad that they went up against the dogs with the pack, but there is something scary about them that he hasn't been able to put a paw on just yet. There is something there that just doens't make sense and perhaps that is the reason that the two brothers have been met with such a welcome. This is, after all, hardly Ute's best moment. Of course Hadir has little point of reference when it comes to such things. He watches the wolf as he comes closer and to his surprise and probably no small amount of horror sees that the 'kill' he is carrying isn't dead. Now Hadir sort of lives with death as something thats always right next door and he has learned a long time ago not to fear it since there is little he can do to stop it. He accepted his own death, but that doesn't mean that we toy with it or play with it, or make nice with it. Its still something that is solemn and serious. He gets himself to his paws and wanders over toward the wolf. As far as he is concerned the fawn has had quite enough suffering and should be rewarded for it, not punished further, "Let it go." he states simply.
As it were, Brutal knows even less about Hadir and his affliction than Hadir might know of Brutal, which isn't a whole lot. For that matter, the burly male isn't even sure they've met properly or even exchanged a glance, which subsequently and near immediate causes the dark, wrecked visage of the northern wolf to become shaped with a expression that borders between casual interest, and then something of incredulous disbelief. Seriously? Did this young wolf just tell him to 'let it go'? As blatantly disrespectful as the whelp's preconceptions are, anger finds no place upon the face of the male and if there had been room for mild annoyance, the hulking brute lets something more akin to confusion take it's place. With the older fawn still held in his jaws, Brutal takes a obvious glance around, looking well past Hadir, even as he approaches. Though when his searching eyes find nothing of the young she-wolf, Althaea, for whom the lively prize was to be given, disappointment dampens Brutal's moment of sunshine and it is a cloudy wolf that is glimpsed when he brings his attention back to Hadir. Meeting the youth's gaze solidly, Brutal stares down at him with glowering yellow eyes that narrow a fraction, as if to express to the young male Brutal's feelings of misfortune, that here should be this surly adolescent and not his bright sister. Grunt. Also, a closer inspection would reveal that Brutal's living 'kill' hasn't nearly suffered, save for a bit of wolf drool and a gimpy crooked front leg, that looks old and now healed terribly wrong. Mostly, the thing just seems abject in that it's caught in the first place. However, as requested, Brutal lowers his head and gently slacks his jaws, leaving the older fawn resting on the ground, where it lays quite still, but alert and wary. As for the hulking wolf himself, he eases back on his haunches, yellow eyes still fixed upon the intrusive youth, "Killing it, is the true kindness."
Hadir has absolutely no objection to hunting what so ever. He would love to be able to be learning how to hunt and all that sort of thing, but there is hunting and then there is torture. If Brutal had killed the creature and brought it back for Alth that would be a whole different matter entirely. Hadir would have welcomed that. But to bring a hurt creature back to the packs area...alive...and in terror doesn't really fit anywhere into his idea of kindness, "Well then you should have killed it and spared it the suffering. How would you like it if something got you by the neck and drug you around intent on killing you at some point later when it felt like it." He isn't really sure what to do now. His heart goes out to the fawn and with that let he really isn't sure that there is anything for it. If there was a healer around maybe they could find a way to fix it, but he doesn't know where he would go about finding one of those. Could they even do something about this? He looks uncertain. What he is certain about, however, is that this poor fawn has suffered quite sufficiently. No one should have to live in terror like that. For the moment all he can do is put himself between the deer and the Brutal wolf. He is going to have a word with Ikuna and the others about this.
It is safe to say, that for all of Hadir's sympathetic passion in regards to the older fawn's plight, Brutal remains sufficiently unconvinced. Not because he is the heartless bastard Hadir seemingly would like to label him, or even that the feelings expressed in consideration of the creature are thought absurd by the large male. No, Brutal is unconvinced because the adolescent has chosen to be dismayed over a cold reality. Still, something about the youth's affinity for saving the young yearling any amount of suffering piques in Brutal a strange curiosity, because to survive, is to kill; no hunt is ever without fear and torment, even for the very small field mouse who's life is snuffed with a single bite. Still, the massive wolf wades carefully into these turbulent waters, because clearly, this young male is mentally unbalanced. This does not, however, prevent Brutal from speaking plainly to the adolescent, the inflections in his words the same as a teacher to a pupil. "Nothing about life and the struggle to preserve it is ever benevolent, boy. To live and breathe is to suffer, to endure, and to know that death is ever lurking. Does it not occur to you that we are all held at the throat? That every creature, ever born, feels the teeth of death ever tightening with that first, fateful gasp of air? Which, from hence forth, we continue to take still, well knowing that whether swift or dragged out to the bitter dregs of old age, the promise of death is assured.
The end." Brutal's ears flatten ever so slightly, his face creased with lines that tell his age as he drops his gaze to look upon the fawn between them, who doesn't appear quite so tormented as Hadir seems intent on believing and in fact, is content to just lay there and absently chew, pausing only ever so often to turn a ear at the voices around it. "As for this fawn, fate, not I, have been unkind to it. It's leg is misshapen, it has fallen behind it's mother, who has likely born a new one, and now it knows death is coming for it. Either by the long suffering of eventual starvation or the merciful fangs of a death more tangible. Why do you think it won't run? Will it struggle? Yes, it will. But that is the design that is life and the ludacrosity that is death, isn't it?"
For all of Brutal's sophistry about the matter it seems clear to Hadir that bringing a young creature away from its mother, no matter what condition it was in would cause it to be fearful, and that is most unnecessary in his opinion. Brutal could have just killed the creature and dragged it here if thats what he wanted to do. He could have easily done so. As a matter of fact if he wanted to he could have done so without the young fawn even knowing what hit it. There are times when he wishes that someone would have done that for him, but that time is long passed, "I know because I'm dying." he says simply. He has never been shy about discussing it. He brings it up alot, but none of the others really wanted to talk to him about it. Miakoda did a nice job discussing it though and didn't play games with him. There are some things that can't be fixed easily, if they can be fixed at all, "So you don't have to lecture me about death. I've been living with death since I was little." He isn't sad about it or particularly angry. It just is, "You didn't have to drag the fawn here /alive/. You could have just ended it suffering but you didn't." This is just unacceptable in his opinion.
Brutal could have done a lot of things differently in his life, but at this particular moment, the proper way to deal with the death of a weak fawn for which fate has held no favor, is the very last of his concerns. And why should it be? Life has never been as generous for Brutal as Hadir insist that it should be for this nameless yearling, and more to the point, is that life in general is rarely so merciful as this! It brings the massive wolf to frown down at the indifferent creature, the slight furrowing of his brows bordering on the essence of a scowl. Not that Brutal is long afforded his moment of discontent in his own private matter, for Hadir's curt and simple explanation catches the large wolf off guard. Its unexpected, to be sure, but the reaction it gains might be equally surprising for Hadir, because there isn't the slightest flicker of sympathy remotely expressed. No condolences, or even a curious request of explanation. Instead, Brutal just blinks, smirks, and lofts a brow to pose only one, simple question, "And?" The big wolf shifts his weight some, ears perking forward as he seems to adjust his assessment of the young adolescent. "You don't listen so well, do you?" he goes on to say, as if to put words to this new observation of his. "We are all good as dead, just some of us before others. I agree that useless suffering is cruel, but so long as the dying can keep on living and fend for themselves, what is there to fuss over? This fawn," Brutal reminds, reaching a paw out to bump it's hindquarters, which startles the animal enough to jump up, only to stumble awkwardly with it's crookedly grown leg and ugly healed stifle, where upon it promptly lays back down, "-cannot." Brutal's yellow gaze hardens as he turns his great head to look at Hadir, "Also, just so we're clear, I didn't 'drag' it here. I carried the poor thing." Rising up off his thick haunches, the black wolf wanders a short distance away, where he resettles himself into a more comfortable and casual sprawl, though his attention stays on the young male. "So...if you are dying and the fawn is dying, which of you is suffering cruelly? Can you fend for yourself, boy? Or are you just like that fawn, hoping someone will eventually come along it do it quick like? Well, here's your chance. Give it the death you feel it's so deserving."
Hadir wants no sympathy or condolances. He has had his fill of both of those things and they have done him little good. He doens't want any more for show pitying looks or fake kind words. He just wants the truth and the truth of it is that one day soon he won't be here. However, he does feel something for this wolf and it isn't anger or hatred. Its pity. What kind of wolf must he be that he can't even see the truth behind what he has been saying. It must be a pathetic existance indeed to just eat and exist and go on. And do it all again the next day...and the next day...and again the next day, "Are you so sure that you are talking about me or the fawn. Or are you talking about yourself? I saw the way that you fought those dogs. That wasn't your first time doing something like that and if I'm guessing right not all the blood you've spilled in your life was for a good cause or innocent. I'm betting you're literally drenched in blood. And maybe an ending is what you are looking for? huh?" If he is talking about death or something else he doesn't elaborate. As for the fawn he has no idea what to do with it. He has never really killed anything before and it isn't really the way that he wanted to have that happen. Besides he isn't going to let Brutal be the one to goad him into doing anything, "A life without mercy is no life at all. If you have none in you then you are already dead."
Well, at least there is that. Because Hadir will find nothing of the sort from Brutal, at least when it comes to matters of living and dying. Brutal will express sympathy for a great many things, such as the loss of home and family, or sympathy for the ill treated and abused. But he has no room for those resigned to death, without understanding that it takes just that, to live. As it were, the conversation doesn't quite makes it to this defense, at least not yet. For the massive male is fair in this debate, allowing the younger wolf to speak his own feelings and thoughts, though the path Hadir now decides to trek down is a dangerous one, lurking with all manners of demons and shadows he knows nothing about. In turn, this causes those dark figures to loom up inside Brutal's mind as the adolescent continues to extract his own conclusion on the large male's behalf, all the while with the giant of a wolf tensing beneath his rugged pelt. Though it isn't until Hadir accuses Brutal of being drenched in blood, particularly innocent blood, that all that simmering comes to a very explosive head, and if not for the righteous fire that flashes forth to burn wildly behind those yellow eyes, Brutal would even be taken back by his reaction. Which is, as it were, both horrific and damning- considering the brother's tedious relationship with those of Ute already. He'll probably pay for it later. Because it is with a great big leap and a swiftness beguiled by size that Brutal launches himself at the young feeble male, roaring angrily as he uses a heavy paw and broad chest to bowl the boy over, attempting to pin him beneath his bulk. In a instant, even before the scattering of leaves can settle, Brutal's scarred visage is there snarling down into the face of the youth, "Do /NOT/ pass judgment on me, boy! You know /nothing/ of true suffering and the desperation for mercy that follows!" Despite the angry snarl, something else causes the massive wolf's rough voice to crack, beneath which is heard a choke of a sadness unforgotten and he reins in some of his temper. "The blood split by my fangs has only /ever/ been in defense of the innocent, the foolishly ignorant, and my own right to continue to exist in this world. I have only ever sacrificed myself and you know what I got as my reward? Betrayal. My mate shot dead. My offspring ripped to shreds by dogs, who used them for playthings. I had to watch my first born son hung to a tree limb by his tiny front paws, after a hunterman drove shining sticks through flesh and bone, to let him dangle there through the night, to cry and howl for mercy, so that /I/ might come to give it." Brutal pauses here, his eyes full of painful memories, though his lips still quiver with the vestiges of a snarl, but instead, resign to curl with a sneer, "Only Once. Once, have I ever bathed in the blood of others and not care how much of it stained my fur. And I enjoyed /every/ /last/ /second/. The dogs. The man. I could not make them suffer long enough." He gives a small snort of good riddance, stepping off from Hadir as if it where no fault of his own that the young wolf should be laying there beneath him. "It is not death I want, but mercy for this life. Can you give it to me?" Brutal gives his big head a rueful shake, "We cannot chose what stays and what fades away, nor can we walk out on our own stories. I envy you, boy. If only we each could be so lucky to know how our story might end." Walking back to his respective spot, Brutal looks all the more dejected and lonesome, flopping down with a heavy sigh, looking very much like a wolf just waiting for the repercussions to start rolling in. In the mean time, he looks with dismiss to the fawn, who seem no more alarmed than before. "And why don't you stop being a preachy sissy and kill that miserable thing?" he huffs, "Or are you so pathetic that you'll just let someone else do it? Save you the atrocity of it all, cause you don't want the blood on your paws, but you'll still eat the flesh guilt free. Life for a life. Then again, maybe we /should/ save it for someone worth feeding, who ain't looking to kick off tomorrow." And this is how eating disorders start, folks.
Hadir was really not expecting the reaction that he recieved from the wolf, and so is consequently knocked over with little effort on the part of the other wolf. For the first few moments of 'attack' he is just so shocked that most of Brutal's recounting of his own personal history is more or less lost on the young wolf. As he is being screamed at fear rises in his chest and as it has done so many times before he can feel pain growing in his chest as his heart struggles to keep up. He winces in pain, though this is likely to be unnoticed by Brutal who is most likely far more content on getting his story out, a story that the young wolf has really heard almost nothing off. Doubtless if he would have heard it he would have felt far more pity for him, but as it stands the only thing he really knows at the moment is his own pain. After Brutal gets off and moves back to where he was sitting he stays where he is and curls up a bit having a bit of difficulty breathing. This has happened to him many times before, but it doesn't get any easier. He is never sure when he is going to have the final one that will end his life. As Brutal finishes his comments he tries to lift his head and howl for help, but the little howl is likely not to reach very far, "Help me..." he says softly. There really isn't much that he can do, besides try to calm himself as best as he can, which isn't easy after a display like that. The deer is largely forgotten at the present moment.
At the Waterfall Pool, Hadir howls.
Indeed, in his rage and rather unceremonious and equally unintentional venting, Brutal didn't notice the subtle signs of distress and pain coming from Hadir. But then, why would he even look for them? To his knowledge, he was doing nothing to physically harm the adolescent, though the crush of weight likely wasn't the most comfortable sensation, but still, nothing to get alarmed over. The fact is, Brutal knows nothing of Hadir's heart condition, not even through rumor. It had only been gleaned through conversation between Ute wolves that he was fragile, which Brutal assumed to be sickly and dying, not breakable and dying. Even when Hadir squeaks out his little howl does the massive male fail to react, save for a small frown. Already he's wanting to tattle to the others about the big bad wolf pushing him over? Geeze, whatever happened to waiting for a chance to fabricate and inflate the details of abuse? It isn't until the young adolescent whimpers out his plea for assistance that Brutal's head perks up and his expression becomes one of mild concern for the writhing youth, "Help you...?" He rises up, taking a tentative step back towards Hadir, "Whats wrong?" Well, crap. Doesn't this just figure. Thick ears lay back and Brutal's hulking figure advances forward, head lowering to sniff at him, confusion clearly taking a place on Brutal's face now. Keen ears can hear the rapid whooshing of the young wolf's heart, though the burly male has no real grounds to suspect the vital organ as the cause, but it does not stop him from considering a way to calm it. In all respects, it appears to Brutal like Hadir's having a nervous breakdown. And here he thought he was the one with nerve issues and brain twitches. "Here now, push up lad." he orders in a firm voice, though this time around it is gentle, spoken with a authority that comforts, rather than terrifies. Brutal's stout muzzle is brought to seize the smaller frame of the adolescent by a thick fold of scruff near his shoulders to help pull him up, "Thiff way." is the dark wolf's next muffled order, taking a step in the direction of the pool. Cold water. It helps calm a raging, pounding heart that feels like it might explode- something Brutal knows by experience. Funny that the retelling of that experience is what should incite Hadir's strange panic in the first place. Though, Brutal is fairly sure the manhandling bit didn't help, either. Ahem. Perhaps more ironic, is that for all of Hadir's squirming and desperate cries next to it, the young yearling deer the youth has been bent on saving only blinks at the whimpering wolf, rises up to regard him in a manner that suggest the creature is a bit put off, then hobbles off on his crooked leg a short distance to graze on some shoots of spring grass.
Hadir is not really helped by this, he doesn't really know what is going on this time. This whole thing seems to be worse than it was before. He does the only thing that he can do really and promptly passes out. He isn't dead, but he isn't very lively either. In all liklihood he will live through this moment, but for the present moment he is completely out of it. All attempts to calm the situation failing.
Ahiga has arrived.
A howl. Not a particularly loud one, but a howl of distress. The tone is understood, and that is enough to bring Ahiga back to the waterfall pool. The young wolf has returned from his excursion with the Cerulean not long ago, yet he has not been sighted much since his return. But it takes just this to bring him back to the pack's gathering place. A place he's avoided for whatever reason. Hadir needs help. With his ears pressed forward, Ahiga can be seen loping up from downriver, eyes wide and alert, pawsteps quick and head held low. What he comes upon is difficult to decipher. Brutal, who for all intents and purposes, is in a gray area of friend or foe. Hadir, fallen on the ground. Huh. Well maybe it isn't /too/ difficult to piece together. It's the "why" that may elude him. But! His young packmate who called is down. Brutal is not, and thus yellow eyes are trained upon him as he stalks forward, hackles raising and growl rumbling from deep within his chest. "What...did you do?"
The state of Hadir's awareness, or rather lack of, is immediately recognized by Brutal the moment that the adolescent goes limp. And even though he could effortlessly drag the unconscious male to the cool water, the urgency for it now seems to have diminished, at least somewhat. With a frustrated grunt, Brutal lowers his head to carefully release his hold, laying Hadir softly down instead of just letting the poor male keel over. Taking a small step back in order to consider the situation, the burly male's gaze lingers on the smaller youth for a moment, a look of 'what now' clearly caught on his face. Though he isn't afforded much time to do any amount of thinking, much less reacting, before Ahiga is suddenly there. His dark muzzle and ears are quick to turn in the direction of the young adult and it is with no small surprise that he should find Ahiga bristled and looking suspiciously alarmed. And wow, already with the accusations? To be fair, Brutal's response is as genuinely bewildered as the next wolf's would be, "I didn't do anything much. Gave him a bit of a fright, I guess. Next thing I know, he's laying there curled on the ground and asking for help." Brutal gives his massive shoulders a helpless shrug and feeling very much the part. "Thought I'd take him to the cool water, cause his heart is beating fast, but well, as you can see, he didn't last that long. Still breathing, though." The last is added as if in after thought, as if to ensure the worried and defensive Ute wolf of the good news that, hey, at least he isn't dead. Yet. Brutal's not sure he wants to stick around to wait and see what comes of it either. Not because he's suffering from guilt or afraid of the blame that no doubt is destined to come his way, but simply because Brutal just isn't in the mood for any of it. He's had enough talk of life, death, and the fairness of it all to last him for one day, this is for damn sure. Brutal spares a considerate glance toward the limp body of the youth before turning his regards back to Ahiga, "I guess you know more aboutthis than I, so I'll leave you to it." he says, though a bit more is mumbled as a following remark, dismissive, as it were. "I only know one cure for the dying." With a small bit of hesitation, just to ensure that Ahiga isn't going to fly off the handle and come at him right now, Brutal moves away to head toward the woods, though a pause is given as he recalls the young yearling left grazing nearby, who once more has laid back down in a small patch of ferns in the effort to ease the pain of a crooked leg healed badly. Yellow eyes narrow down upon it and a low growl rumbles quietly in his chest, before Brutal turns and walks away, leaving the creature there to face it's future-less life, letting it go to live and suffer and wish for death long before death comes for it. To hell with mercy. Why should some have it and others not?