Not Fit To Lead

[Therdde]

( Continued from 'Better Than The Dream' )

Characters:
Nayeli - Female Adolescent Cougar
Kein - Male Adolescent Cougar
Chesmu - Male Cougar

Scene:
Chesmu arrives during the reunion between Nayeli and Kein, and things take a turn for the worse, culminating in Kein being expelled from Amaranth territory.

- Sloping Gradient -

Nayeli gives a small nod in response, and looks back in the direction where she had seen the other cougars resting. Or were they.. /waiting/? Surely they weren't going to ambush her father? For a brief second, Nayeli stares even harder as she could swear she saw the ghost of another feline's smile disappear behind a tree. She supposes that they /had/ made enough noise with their yelling, and with Kein's family being so close in proximity and all... "Kein?" she finally asks, turning her head back around to look at him. At her /friend/--and even the simple addition of that single word brings a warmth that she never thought she'd feel again. It's not quite enough, though, to dispel the anxiety that creeps into her voice. "Why are you back here in Amaranth? Why did your family return?" As much distance as there is between she and her father, Nayeli still loves him and would never want anything terrible to happen to him. Like, an ambush.

Kein frowns when she asks her question and takes a step backwards. Why did she have to ask that? Why couldn't she just let them enjoy the moment a little longer? Though he is a little disappointed that it lasted for so short a time, his tone is not terribly upset when he speaks. No more than is appropriate, anyway. "Chesmu hurt my mom, Nayeli. We-" He stops abruptly. This isn't about revenge, or at least not entirely about revenge, not for Mom and Kasim. Maybe not even for Kein, but for Kein, revenge would be a good enough reason, after all of the grief caused by that one evil thing the Amaranth chieftain did. He can recognize that the desire for revenge isn't good, though, and so he changes what he was going to say, his tone a little quieter than when he started speaking. "We can't let him be free to hurt anyone else. It isn't right."

She hadn't really wanted to ask the "why" question, but with the alarming possibility that Kein and his family had returned to deal with her father, she knows that she /needs/ to know the reason why they've come back. "I know my father did a terrible thing," she admits, voice quiet to match Kein's. "But.. doesn't he deserve a second chance too?" And while she won't come right out and say it, the implication is clear enough. Kein of all cougars should understand the heartache of a mistake like that... and the desire to be forgiven. Granted, even Nayeli knows that Chesmu's "mistake" was far more dark and traumatic than Kein's, and shouldn't be put on the same level.

Kein said one hurtful thing and tortured himself over it for months. Chesmu tried to rape his mother and, so far as Kein knows, has never once expressed regret. If he has, it certainly hasn't been to the right person. Besides, the nature of Chesmu's transgression combined with his position as chieftain... It's too much to overlook. "It isn't the same thing, Nayeli. I am sorry for what I did, and I always will be, but... What's going to happen the next time he's tempted? What if the next cougar doesn't get away, or doesn't even try to say no?" If Kein relapses, the worst that could happen is someone else will get his or her feelings hurt. If Chesmu does, though...

Nayeli feels her head sink lower and lower at the barrage of words. She knows that Kein is only concerned for his mother's safety--and potentially the safety of others as well--but it still hurts to have those kinds of things said and asked about her father. She doesn't dare say a word about Ama and her cubs. As far as she knows, Ama was perfectly willing to mother them, but Nayeli doesn't know for /sure/ and knows that mentioning this to Kein might not be the best idea. "What are you going to do to him?" she finally whispers, dreading what she's fairly sure his answer will be. It occurs to her that she didn't ask what Kein will /try/ to do but rather what he /will/ do. Maybe a remnant of her former belief that Kein as her hero can do anything?

Kein would love it if he could kill Chesmu. Now that the emotion of earlier is gone, though, he can recognize that for what it is. Stupid. And he knows Kasim won't do anything. As far as what they /will/ do to Chesmu... Well, Kein can't answer that. Not with certainty. "That depends on him. On how he responds. We have to make sure the others will be safe, though." So says his mother, and what happens is more up to her than it is up to him, because if it were up to Kein... Well, nothing Chesmu could say or do would earn him enough forgiveness from Kein to allow Chesmu to remain the Amaranth chieftain, for certain.

Chesmu continues on his way. After reassuring that juvenile cougaress that she is safe on these lands, Chesmu had resumed his border patrol. So saddening to hear about orphaned cubs like that. He heads north from the mesa, sighs happily. He's feeling good today for some reason.

How /will/ her father respond to the sudden appearance of the former tribal members? Perhaps a disadvantage of her intentional distancing from her father: she honestly doesn't know what he'll say or do. She can already sense plenty of tension coming from Kein, and Chesmu isn't even here. Yet. She knows it's just a matter of time before her father comes across them; he patrols often enough that it might be only a matter of minutes or hours before the secret is blown. "Kein, promise me that no matter what happens, you won't..." She feels herself trembling, and can barely force the words out. "..won't.. kill him?" Surely he doesn't deserve death for what he's done? Nayeli knows that she'll never be able to understand the depth and impact of what he did, but even still... death?

Kein takes a deep breath when Nayeli asks what she does. He doesn't agree, but then... To some degree, he blames their flee from Amaranth, his attempt to return to Amaranth, and, hence, Ruut'h's death, on the reason why they had to flee. Chesmu. That, combined with the chieftain's attempted rape of his mother, does make him deserving of death, and until now, he has seen no reason why they /shouldn't/ kill the Amaranth chieftain. Until now. It is a moment before he answers, and when he does, his tone isn't happy, but it is sincere. "We won't kill him, unless he leaves us with no choice." Kein sees no trouble in speaking for his family in this matter, since neither he nor his mother are a match for Chesmu and Kasim is so peaceful.

Chesmu stats climbing down the gradient. It's not a difficult climb. It's more difficult marking around it and keeping an eye out, however. But the Chieftain proceeds, he nears ever closer to Kein and Nayeli.

Those aren't quite the words that Nayeli was hoping to hear, but she supposes that it's the best she's going to get. Taking a step forward, she nuzzles at his neck again. "I know you'll do what you think is right." What if that means he'll try and kill her father? Nayeli knows that she won't be able to stop him, and so she can only hope that her father will be cooperative to whatever punishment Kein and his family have decided for him. Her next words carry a fair amount of concern, anxiety, and fear: "I'm just afraid that you're going to get hurt in whatever happens."

So she's not just wanting to save her father. Oh, Kein has no doubt that's a good part of Nayeli's reason, but the fact that there is at least a little concern for him in there is... Well, it makes him happy, reinforces the idea that she cares for him. And though he knows he's not yet capable of attacking a full adult and walking away clean, he can't help but try to comfort her. "I won't get hurt. I promise." He does, after all, have his family with him. So will Chesmu, potentially, but... Hopefully the other cougars will be able to see reason.

He didn't back away this time, and thus encouraged, Nayeli keeps her head pressed up against Kein's neck. She purrs again, content to just savor the moment and refrain from continuing the somewhat foreboding line of conversation. She realizes that this very well might be the only chance they'll ever have at this, because one way or another, their families are more or less at odds with each other, and one way or another, only one is going to have control over the Amaranth tribe. What will this mean for Kein and herself? It's a line of thought that she tries to delay as long as possible.

Kein thinks as Nayeli presses against him, still enjoying her being near him. It could have been worse. The answer about what they intend to do to her father could have driven her away, and it didn't. So, he asks something that has, more or less, been on his mind since he was very young, since his mother first asked him if he thought he could be a leader someday. "Nayeli... What if I challenged your father?" Not Mom, or Kasim, or anyone. Just him. And not now. But someday. Kein is still growing quickly. It won't be that much longer. And that way, whatever resolution Mom and Kasim come to with Chesmu won't matter. It's only a matter of time, and Kein will be able to live here comfortably, without Chesmu's presence. But will he still have Nayeli's presence?

Chesmu comes up off the gradient right at this moment and overhears this. Growling low, Chesmu starts loping toward the two, unaware of the owner of the voice being Kein. "If you talk like that on *my* territory, I'll--" And then Chesmu sees just who Nayeli is leaning up against, affectionate towards, and immediately freezes. Kein? He's here? They're back?!

"/Challenge/ him?" Nayeli's voice is quite definitely laced with shock. "You mean, like try and fight him for the role of chieftain?" She's tempted to pull back so she can stare him eye-to-eye, but she doesn't want to move from where she's at. This particular suggestion leaves her in a rather uncomfortable position. While she wants to support Kein in every way possible, just the thought of him fighting her father is a bit much to handle. And when her father's voice cuts into their discussion, Nayeli's heart sinks. It's too soon. As she turns to face her approaching father, her only thought is for Kein's immediate safety. "Daddy!" she calls out, her voice sounding close to panic.

Kein is actually the one to move away, the moment he hears Chesmu's voice. He spins to face the chieftain and crouches down, putting himself between Nayeli and her father without even thinking about it. The anger is back, quickly, and he can't keep from growling, even if he manages to keep it quiet. He has grown considerably since he left Amaranth, but Chesmu is still larger than he is. Even so, just like when he was facing that wolf, when he was younger, there is no evidence that he feels any fear. Just the anger, inspired in part by the statement that was undoubtedly going to turn into a threat. "You'll /what/?" No one ever said Kein was smart, but he certainly is brave.

Chesmu frowns, then yells. "Use a little common sense, Kein!" Chesmu bellows. "You're not a cub anymore, thus the things you say and do *will* have consequences. Now where is your mother? I wish to beg forgiveness." Chesmu takes another step toward Kein, not in intimidation, but more to see how he's grown. "Admirable. You've grown well."

This is rapidly spiraling into somewhat of a disaster. A dangerous showdown, at best. Nayeli feels at a loss for what to say, as all attention for both of the males seems to be exclusively on the other. At least they aren't rushing at each other with claws extended. Not yet, anyway. And when he suddenly adds in the compliment, she finds herself blinking in surprise, then blushing. Okay, so maybe it /was/ her thought as well, but that's beside the point!

No, not yet, but it requires genuine effort not to leap forward when Chesmu shouts at him. Kein growls more loudly when Chesmu steps forward, the compliment falling on deaf ears. "It's funny, hearing /you/ talk about consequences." No, Kein does not feel at all guilty when the chieftain raises his voice. That may have worked when he was a cub, but he no longer holds Chesmu in any sort of regard or figures he should listen to /anything/ the Amaranth chieftain says.

"It pains me to hear you say that. From the day I did that terrible thing, it tore me apart inside, wishing I could take it back. I hurt my friend. My closest friend. I've never truly forgiven myself." Chesmu says, but goes back to bold speech. "But you are still on my territory, Kein! And any violent acts on your part will result in treatment in kind, because you are a male. Because I am the Chieftain. And because I will not tolerate violence of the sort you're so recklessly promoting!"

Even if what the chieftain has said is true, he has not faced any of the consequences he is /so/ fond of talking about. And Kein doubts any of it is true. For no more than a careless insult when he was hurting, he tried /everything/ to get back to Nayeli, to apologize and to rescue her. Chesmu has not done anything, and he is an adult. He could have made it, or could have sent someone, but he did /nothing/. "And what of the violence /you/ promote?!" Violence specifically against females. Violence against children, because yelling at cubs like Chesmu often yelled at Kein, and Chandani, /is/ violence, /is/ traumatizing, and often it was only because a cub didn't want to talk. Violence against anyone who cannot defend him- or herself. "You're not fit to lead here!" He is still growling, and still angry, but he has not made any move against Chesmu.

Chesmu growls and bares his teeth. "I promote no violence. I have felt sorrow and shame every moment since! I protect my tribe! I do what is right!" Chesmu says, then bares his teeth wider. "I am fit to this position, my terrible shame notwithstanding. Are you challenging me here, now, Kein?"

There's nothing that she can do, and Nayeli, as much as she hates to admit it, is slowly coming to grips with that simple fact. This is between the males. Between two leaders, as it were. Although she's not entirely sure why Kein is so adamant about this, rather than Kasim, she's not going to try to make him back down. This is a much more mature version of the hero she always admired. Kein, the cougar who insists that the problem be taken care, that the wrong be made right. That the enemy be dealt with. Even if the enemy is the chieftain. Her father.

Kein digs his claws into the ground. He so wants it to be Chesmu's flesh instead of mere dirt that his claws are raking through. His tail flicks behind him, angrily, and his face is set in a scowl. "You're surely trying to push me to it. Get me to challenge you, so you can kill me. You promote nothing /but/ violence." He has not made one move towards the chieftain since this started, but all Chesmu has done since he arrived is threaten, yell, and move closer. It would seem like he's aching for the fight even more than Kein is.

Chesmu hasn't actually moved forward beyond that first step. "Have you lost your mind?! I don't want to fight you! But I can't let you say these things without a response!" Chesmu says, then looks at Nayeli. "I can't even begin to tell you how happy I was to see you and Nayeli together, I could tell your feeling are beginning to run deep. Ask your mother, we've spoken on this many times." Chesmu finally sits to drive the point across. He's *not* looking for violence. "Calm yourself, and believe that nothing you have said was said outside of anger, Kein. I want to see your mother, talk to her, beg her forgiveness, and if she feels it isn't right, allow her to do as she wishes."

He's happy to see the two of them together? Nayeli is a bit surprised, but even moreso when her father admits that he's talked with Kein's mother about it on apparently a rather frequent basis. Why hadn't he ever told her this before? But once again, she feels caught and unable to say anything as she's fairly sure that to voice any opinion or comment of her own will only cause more tension. The question of whose side she's on is one that she /really/ doesn't want brought up, as she doesn't know if she'd be able to give an honest answer. Because honestly... she doesn't know. Can she be on both sides at the same time?

Kein shifts his position, just slightly, when Chesmu brings up Nayeli, moving to place himself more directly in front of Nayeli. She isn't part of this, and if Kein had his way, Chesmu would never be allowed near Nayeli anymore than near his mother. Of course, that's Nayeli's choice, not his, but in this moment, what is happening is between only Chesmu and him. "Then respond. Do to me what you will. Or else leave my mother be until she is ready to face you." Yes. Chesmu /will/ have to go through Kein to get to Mom, because she had to have heard the shouting, and there has to be a reason why she hasn't come. She isn't ready yet, and Kein would die to protect her from facing Chesmu before she's ready to do so.

With a smile, Chesmu says, "If that is all you meant to say to me, Kein, all you had to do was say is 'Wait until she is ready.' I would have gladly done so. No need to proceed in such a confrontational manner. Let's end it this way: Welcome home, Kein. I've missed you and your family, and I look forward to trying to make things better with your mother if and when she decides she is ready to see me. As I told your father, there's not a moment that passes by that I don't feel regret. I've known your mother a very long time. There even was a time where..." Chesmu stops. Maybe not best to mention there was a time when he and Maulisho could have been mates, long ago. It was those thoughts spoken between the two that started this mess. "I'm sorry."

It's no small amount of relief that Nayeli feels at seeing the de-escalation in front of her. How much of her father's words are actually truthful, she's not sure--at least based on her initial assessment. She's pretty sure that he really /is/ sorry, but.. with the lack of quality conversation between the two of them over the past months, she's honestly not sure. But once again, the girl refrains from saying anything, as if afraid to spark up a heated standoff once again. She continues to watch, and wait, and hope that her father will leave for now and let her spend more time alone with Kein. While they still can.

"He's not my father, and we're not home." Not yet. Of course, what Kein means by saying this is that the apology has not been accepted. It isn't his place to accept it, anyway. The only thing he can hope is that his mother isn't convinced by Chesmu's lying and treachery, and that Chesmu makes good on his statement that he'll accept whatever his mother decides is fair. Because otherwise the day /will/ come when Kein has more weapons he can use than just his words, and he /will/ use them.

Chesmu looks at Kein. Whatever he thinks isn't home. He was born here. Until Chesmu made his horrible mistake, he was happy, too. "Well, you'll come around sooner or later. I have a feeling your mother is a lot more open minded than you are being right now. I would have it that I never did that to her and that you and Nayeli would have grown up together. That's my fault. But not your place to condemn me."

"I only learned it from you." Heavens know that Kasim doesn't have it in him to judge anyone. Chesmu was his role model for a long time, and Chesmu has done plenty of condemning for smaller slights, not against him, but against his family or a member of the tribe. Kein is doing nothing different, and he resents the hypocrisy. He no longer yells, though, and the anger in his tone is more controlled. Like Nayeli, he just wants Chesmu to /leave/. Ideally, he'll leave permanently, or at least until Kein is old enough to challenge him properly.

"Have you forgotten the wolf?" Chesmu says. "If I were so forward with condemnation, would I have forgiven him for nearly eating you? Instead, I understood his position. He was desperate, and he was sorry for what he had done. I am more about forgiveness than what you think, Kein, and I find it a terrible shame that you've learned nothing from that. If I were as terrible as you falsely suggest, I would have killed the wolf... and I wouldn't have stopped myself from harming your mother. I would have never forgiven myself, and I would never have sent that raven to war you of the humans. You... have no right to condemn me, since you understand *nothing* but vengeance and many other terrible things that will lead you to an unfortunate demise that any other cougar would have gladly handed you. If your mother were to see how you're speaking to me now... how you are thinking, I can only imagine how disappointed she would be that you would be as hateful and unforgiving as you are now. I *know* she taught you better!"

Wolf? Nayeli blinks, as she seems to remember Kein once telling her of an incident a while back where he bravely defeated a ferocious monster called a 'wolf'... with a little help from Chesmu and Kasim, of course. But... Kein never said anything about it almost eating him! Nayeli gives her friend a sideways glance, now knowing that she's going to want to hear the rest of the story. Assuming that her father is speaking the truth, of course. She's well aware that he saw the two of them together sharing some affection, and could very well be trying to verbally fracture their relationship now.

And yet, Chesmu continues. Kein scowls again and says, "You forgave him /after/ you enslaved him." Kein doesn't /like/ wolves, but the months after Ruut'h's death, all spent around wolves, have taught him that they aren't evil. At least, not all of them are, and he's old enough to understand that they have to eat. The fact that he is capable of believing these things ought to be testament enough to the fact that Kein is capable of forgiving, no matter what Chesmu believes. "He didn't have time to provide his family with food as it was, and you only spared his life because he agreed to devote his time to a task /you/ set for him." Chesmu was well on his way toward killing the wolf. Probably would have, if Kasim hadn't been there. "So don't talk to me about forgiveness. You haven't earned it yet." Yet. Like Kasim's presence may have had an effect on Chesmu, that day so long ago with the wolf, Nayeli's presence is having an effect on Kein. He'll maintain that Chesmu is not fit to lead this tribe, not even on the non-spiritual side of things, but he won't insist that Chesmu is not worthy of forgiveness. Only that it may be a very long time coming. As before, Chesmu's lecture does not phase Kein at all.

Chesmu sighs. It is regrettable that Kein is this far gone. He actually would have done the same thing had Kasim not been there. It was Chesmu who allowed the wolf to explain, and Chesmu couldn't let even a supposedly justifiable bad deed go unpunished. But rather than explain it to someone who will not listen, Chesmu stands up. "My audience with you, Kein, is over, and since you have so eloquently and succinctly made your stance as an aggressor, I cannot permit you to stay within my territory. You will go... immediately... out from my borders. Tell your mother that if she decides to see me, I'll gladly see her at the mesa, and that she and the rest of your family will be permitted to enter my territory. But *you* shall *not* until such a time as your understanding changes on this matter to something more constructive and less confrontational, and definitely less hateful and potentially dangerous to those here in the territory, my daughter included.."

"Daddy, no!" The words slip out almost before Nayeli realizes what she's doing. Moving to where she's standing beside Kein, rather than behind him, she looks at her father with a pleading expression. "Please don't send him outside the territory! He's.. not dangerous to me, even though you might think so." She flushes slightly, but stands her ground. "At least let him stay with his family? Please?"

Kein stares at Chesmu after the other male speaks. Again, the desire to attack builds up in him, but this time it is a little more easily controlled. He has been as calm and understanding as he could be, and even when he was yelling, his anger burned out quickly. Now it's... different. Easier to control, evident only in a flick of his tail or a tremor through his leg, but murderous. As he listens to Nayeli, he fantasizes about what it will feel like, when he tears the Amaranth chieftain's throat out. Finally, he shakes his head at Nayeli's suggestion. No. Chesmu is being unreasonable, and there's no way to change that. Not yet. Not without using force. To Chesmu, he says, "Give me a minute to say goodbye to her, since I didn't get a chance to last time, what with running for our lives." He's not afraid to go straight for Chesmu's heart, if the other male even has one.

Chesmu is not what Kein makes him out to be: Not evil, not heartless. And Chesmu is genuinely remorseful for what he has done. However, Kein is doing something he can't allow, which is stir up trouble. At least, to Chesmu he is. "My decision stands, Nayeli! Don't make me keep you from seeing each other. I have tried explaining to you, Kein, that I am sorry for what I have done and will take full responsibility for it. Scoffing at me and throwing that fact in my face is *not* a welcome action. Until I am convinced you won't be causing trouble, you're gone. And hopefully Maulisho will talk some sense into you. Because apparently you never learned anything but to hate those who hurt you, and there's no place for that or those who believe it here."

But.. Daddy! How can you? Don't you see that he's trying to do what he thinks is right? Nayeli wonders if her father really would demand that she not see Kein anymore, but until he explicitly states that, she plans on visiting him as soon as she possibly can, once he's been expelled to the border. She's fairly sure that he's just going to go straight back to his family, as she'd imagine that they aren't going to wait very long before confronting Chesmu. The thought of them living here again... but with Kein not allowed to visit... it's a difficult outlook to dwell on. She swallows against the lump in her throat and wonders if her father will personally see Kein off the tribal lands or if he'll allow them some time alone first.

Sure, and no part of what Chesmu is doing is revolving around his hatred for Kein having said hurtful things. But Kein has realized that there is no way Chesmu will see what is right before his face, see his own hypocrisy, and Kein's not going to continue trying. He is reluctant to turn his back to Chesmu, but he does back up so that he is side by side with Nayeli, since Chesmu obviously isn't going to leave them to say goodbye in private. Once he is there, he presses his side against hers and whispers in her ear. It has to be said now, so she knows he is /not/ abandoning her. That he will never abandon her. His voice is /just/ loud enough to be heard by her. Even he can barely hear it. "You can stay with me forever, Nayeli." Here. Elsewhere. It doesn't matter. If Kein has to spend every one of his waking hours hunting to provide them both with food, he'll do it. After speaking, her nuzzles against her affectionately, more so than before, since he imagines it may be the last time he sees her for... For however long it takes. Until she comes to him or until he returns to issue a proper challenge for the territory.

Chesmu looks at Nayeli. "You may go with him. But I would speak with you later. I want to make things right, and I'd like your help." Chesmu says. "Kein, you and Nayeli are very fortunate to have each other, and I'd not have it any other way. again, please tell your mother that I will see her when she is ready, and will do anything she asks if only for a chance of forgiveness. And, once we can come to terms with each other, then you shall return."

Even in the gathering darkness--the figurative storm, as it were--it's a burst of inner warmth for Nayeli to hear those words whispered in her ear. He really wants her to spend forever with him? And the punctuating nuzzle...! As far as Nayeli is concerned, their friendship has been repaired beyond a shadow of a doubt. Now if only these other troubles and evils and conflicts could be fixed so easily! But to Kein, she whispers back, "Of course I will." She, of course, follows this up with a return nuzzle, not caring what her father might think. This is her best friend and she loves him dearly, no matter what kind of hostility there might be between him and her father.

Chesmu sighs. His heart is heavy. He hopes Maulisho forgives him. It's been so hard having to deal with himself and what he's done. He's confessed to Paoro, to Ayashe, but they did nothing to him. Wanting something to happen, Chesmu is throwing his hopes with Maulisho. Perhaps Kein *is* right and he *is* unfit to be their Chieftain. He whispers quietly to himself. "I'm so sorry." He turns to leave, he's got a hard truth to face: He did a terrible thing, and he will face the consequences.

Kein watches as Chesmu finally begins to leave, then nuzzles against Nayeli once more before he finally begins walking himself. Yes, he will talk to his family, and /then/ he will leave, and he imagines it's for good, or at least for a long time, unless Kasim manages to step up and do what's right. Because Kein is /not/ willing to compromise with Chesmu. Not after what has just happened. Before he was expelled from Amaranth, maybe, but... Not now. Not after being torn away from everyone he cares about.