Post by Therdde on Oct 4, 2008 1:32:50 GMT -5
Characters:
Nayeli - Female Adolescent Cougar
Kein - Male Adolescent Cougar
Scene:
After the confrontation with Chesmu ends, Nayeli and Kein head north to talk about their plans.
- Snowy Highlands -
It's probably due to the fact that she's finally alone with Kein that her mind is finally able to relax from all the difficult questions that were running around in a frenzy. Not that she anticipates this time with Kein will be devoid of difficult questions and answers, but nonetheless, there's a noticeable change in the overall feel of things. No more hostility and worrying that blood is about to be spilled. She /is/ kind of curious why he wants to head north to the snow, but she doesn't mind a little change of scenery. Not to mention the privacy, too!
Kein takes every moment he can get to just walk with Nayeli. This may not be his home anymore, but it is much nicer than the desert. Much cooler. He doesn't know where he'll be going, but it won't be back there. It's just too bad that Amaranth territory at the desert are the only two places he has ever been, the only two places he knows. He supposes he'll just head north until he is a couple days away from the scent marks of any cougars and search from there. And as much as he knows this is what he should be doing, he doesn't want to do it. He can finally appreciate what his mother told him long ago, after his run-in with that wolf. It's always better to stay with the ones you love. With a deep sigh, he says, simply, "So." It's not much, but he dreads the conversation they're about to have.
"So," Nayeli echoes, glancing sideways at Kein. At her friend, despite everything that just happened. Even if he were to go away from here and never return, he will continue to remain her friend. And who knows? Maybe he's changed his mind and has decided to stay here, especially now that her father is no longer Chieftain. It's a possibility, anyway, though the girl is pretty sure that it won't happen. Kein was so adamant during that confrontation about how there was nothing left worth staying for.
Kein would love to plead with Nayeli for her to accompany him. It isn't just his pride that keeps him from doing so, though. He just can't justify making her choose. Either that or he couldn't handle the rejection of her choosing her family over him. Better to leave it open than to demand an answer, but after a while, he says, "I hope you'll think about coming with me, Nayeli." No, he isn't staying. But if she won't come with him, he'll have one more reason to try to visit here, if Yuma is going to allow it. Given the look Yuma gave him not too long ago, that's still up in the air.
Nayeli stops suddenly, causing a break in the rhythmic crunching of snow under her paws. "Coming with you? You /are/ leaving, then?" She looks away, fighting the sudden lump in her throat. "I guess there's no way to convince you to stay?" Yes, she's fairly used to living without Kein being anywhere close. And yes, it was a fairly miserable life, at that. And now that he's back... but leaving again so soon!
Kein stops walking when Nayeli does, turning just slightly so that he can look at her. In response to her question, he says, "I don't belong here." He just gave up the only slim chance he had at /ever/ belonging here, but he has to recognize that it was slim. There's no guarantee any of the other cougars in the area would have accepted his presence, and when Nayeli's mother resigned, and one of her siblings took over... What if it wasn't Nayeli? Could Kein had fulfilled his duties with a cougaress he barely knows, has no feelings for?
"But isn't this your /home/, Kein? This is where you were born and grew up!" At least... somewhat grew up. No need to go into /that/ particular subject. Nayeli sighs, staring up at the sky. "I'm not trying to talk you out of leaving." Despite her earlier question, she really doesn't want Kein to think that she's trying to be an obstacle. He has his own reasons for leaving, and surely they're all good and valid at that.
That's the most upsetting thing about this. Amaranth just doesn't feel like home. Kein feels almost like a stranger to these lands. He doesn't know anyone, not really. He was young when he left, unfamiliar with most of the adults of the tribe, and as for the cubs... Well, they aren't cubs anymore. "It isn't. It hasn't been for a long time." Yuma was quick enough to point that out. Why can't Nayeli and Chesmu see it? Why can't Mom? "I'm not going to try to make you choose. I know that it /is/ your home, but... I want you with me, whenever you're ready." Because any home he does find won't be complete without her.
Deep down, Nayeli feels nothing but sorrow for her friend. To feel completely alienated from the place one once called 'home'. It must be an awful feeling. Where does he plan on going? Or doing? Perhaps going back to the desert? That might be what he considers 'home' now, despite the fact that his family won't be with him this time. "Kein, I am ready now. I've.. been ready. Ever since that dream." She looks away again. "I just wasn't ready to admit it, either to you or to myself."
Kein feels new hope when Nayeli speaks again. He will still miss his mother and his brother, and probably even Kasim too, though he wouldn't admit it right now. If Nayeli is with him, though, he won't be entirely alone, and he would do anything to keep her from changing her mind, which is why he is quick to reply with, "We don't have to leave immediately. You can take as much time as you want to say goodbye." He knows he isn't going to have an easy time of saying goodbye to his mother, especially since he doesn't want to do it the next time he sees her. He just wants to talk with her, wants her to say something that will make everything make sense, make everything all right. She has to know something that will help. She always does.
Nayeli knows that Kein will want to tell his own family goodbye, so she just nods and begins walking again. Crunch, crunch, crunch. She still doesn't know anything about Kein's living as far away as the desert, and just the thought of somewhere so hot and dry... the opposite of one of her favorite places here in Amaranth. She loves the snow. And now that she's here, all alone with Kein, she wants to enjoy herself! With a mischievous grin, she suddenly dashes off, hoping that Kein will begin chasing her.
Kein has not done a whole lot of playing in recent months. Even time with his brother has usually been spent just exploring, which, while entertaining, is no so lighthearted as playing. For a moment, he doesn't understand the grin, but then Nayeli runs off. Kein remains there for just a moment, at first surprised. Then, though, a small grin breaks out on his face. Still, he doesn't run after her. Rather, he lets her get a little furher away... Then a little further... Then, finally, he chases after her, making an honest effort to close the distance that he allowed to grow between them. What fun would the game be if it were over as soon as it began?
When she glances behind her and sees Kein just standing there, she's nearly tempted to just stop and trot back, as he obviously doesn't seem to be in the mood for playing. But, wait.. no, here he comes! With a delighted laugh, Nayeli continues on, intentionally letting him catch up. Not too quickly, but enough to where he'll be close enough before too long... almost... wait for it... closer... yes...
Kein has done plenty of chasing since he left Amaranth, but something about his mindset during this playful chase makes it relaxing, makes it fun, which, combined with the strain of the physical exertion, serves to take his mind off of his troubles like nothing else possibly could. For this reason, just like Nayeli isn't quite giving it everything she has, neither is Kein. He would gladly play with her like this until he fell down from exhaustion. He has no idea she may have anything planned for when he gets closer, and really, he has nothing planned for once he finally 'catches' her.
She definitely /does/ have something planned, and something that can only happen in this particular area of Amaranth. And once Nayeli thinks that her pursuer is finally close enough, she suddenly turns, sweeps her forepaws together to gather snow, and then flings it outward in the general direction of the approaching Kein. Surprise! She'll wait to see how he reacts before she decides whether or not to continue running or to do something else. Like.. pounce him.
Kein doesn't have time to stop running when he sees Nayeli turn around, and he is considerably close when, all of a sudden, there is a flurry of snow around him, bits of it sticking to his fur, or landing against his nose. His laughing is almost as much involuntary, cause by the tickling sensation of the bits of snow against his sensitive nose, as it is out of genuine amusement, and joy, at the way Nayeli plays. It's like she has retained so much of the youthful innocence that he lost, and getting to experience it again is more than he ever could have hoped for. During this time, he has no way to retaliate, not until after he shakes his head to dislodge bits of snow.
Score! Nayeli laughs in unison with Kein, though hers isn't muffled at all as she isn't the one getting ambushed by snow. With a grin, she sends a bit more of the cold fluff in Kein's direction before launching herself at him. Okay, perhaps not the most fair of moves since he /is/ a little distracted at the moment, but Nayeli really doesn't care. All that means is that she has a better chance of tackling him!
Shaking his head doesn't do a whole lot of good, as all of the snow that is shed is soon replaced by a fresh pawful. This time, he actually raises a paw and ducks his head, planning on wiping some of the snow off of his face, which leaves him particularly vulnerable when she leaps at him. Hey! He can't quite keep his footing, but even as he falls over onto his side, he attempts to bat at her with a paw, absolutely no force behind the swing and his his claws safely sheathed. So long as she doesn't seem upset that he is not acting at all heroly, he is more than happy to let her keep the upper paw in order to continue the playing, but he has to put up some token resistance.
It is, perhaps, a sign of Nayeli's maturity since they last played as cubs that she isn't looking for any kind of physical heroics. Perhaps at this stage, she's more impressed by his emotional strength, especially with everything that's been happening. The way he was able to navigate the difficult situations that have come up--both between the two of them, as well as the large confrontation that just finished. And, perhaps, as Nayeli continues to mature into an adult, she will look for Kein's 'heroics' to be more along the lines of romantic prowess. Perhaps. But for now, none of that is going through her mind. The only thing she's concerned with is the struggle at hand. Snowspray is going everywhere as she slides past where Kein was just a moment ago, getting a very cold pawpad swiped on her nose on the way past. Whoops! Slipping! Nayeli has just enough time to yowl before her paws slide out from under her and she goes sprawling. Doh! She almost had him, too!
Can Kein really fail to take advantage of such an opportunity? He /does/ look her over after she yowls, his smile fading momentarily, but as soon as he knows that she was just surprised, not hurt, he bounds after her, intending to pounce at her and nose at her neck. Ever since they learned that teeth can really hurt, that became the next best way to determine the winner of any given round with his siblings.
Oh no, here he comes! Nayeli gives her friend a comical look of terror as he leaps toward her, but then she's doing the same thing that he did just a moment before. With a devious grin, she rolls to the side, trying to flail all the snow she can toward him while she makes her brilliant escape. Hah! Nayeli jumps up, using her claws for traction when needed, and bounds away, laughing for all she's worth. Oh, stars above... this is /fun/!
Kein misses Nayeli as she gets her footing a lot more quickly than he imagined she would, and he is stuck trying to clear snow from his vision again, by which time she already has several feet on him. With a mock growl, Kein takes after her again. As he runs, he tries to figure out what to do incase she plans on doing the same thing she did when they first started playing, wait until he gets close and then throw snow at him. As soon as he gets an idea, he slows his pace. Not by much, hardly enough to be noticeable, but definitely slower.
Nayeli may not be the brightest cougaress that ever existed, but she certainly knows better than to try the same trick twice. And so, between her running and laughing, her mind is busy at work, trying to come up with a new and cunning plan of attack. Maybe she should try to incorporate a tree or rock or some other means of cover into it? Or maybe she should just stop and wait for him? Hmm. How else can she use snow? She's glancing around as she runs, trying to come up with something.
Kein keeps this slightly slower pace as he runs after Nayeli, watching and waiting until he's close enough that a burst of speed ought to take him to her quickly. If she's doing as she was before, going slow eough that he can catch up, it shouldn't take too much longer.
Aha! There's a tree that might do the trick. Nayeli gives an extra burst of speed, and once she's close enough, leaps forward and upward and grasps ahold of the trunk. Unfortunately for her, she hadn't realized that this tree wasn't quite sturdy enough, and so her weight causes the tree to sway just enough... and loose all the snow that had been sitting along its branches. With a startled yowl, she has just enough time to drop the several feet back to the ground before getting buried by a mass of snow. WHUMP!
Kein is still far enough back that he was capable of seeing the whole thing happen. As before, his first thought is whether she's injured, and every aspect of his plan is forgotten. It will probably always be his undoing in any game they ever play... He runs as quickly as he can to close the distance between them, then starts brushing snow away from her with his forepaws quickly. When he speaks, his voice is raised, so she can hear it through the snow. "Nayeli! Are you okay?" He /knows/ that fall wasn't from a fatal height, and that the snow on top of her can't be heavy enough to crush her, but there's still the chance that something went wrong, that there was a sharp rock hidden under the snow where she fell or she landed wrong and injured something or... Well, there are too many things to think about.
It's a strange sound, one that starts off so quietly that it might be impossible to hear over the sound of Kein's digging. It comes from underneath the snow heap, so as the male digs further and further, the sound grows gradually louder and louder. Finally, it's easily recognized as the same yowl that Nayeli made before, but once enough snow is removed to uncover her head, it changes into startled laughter. "Umm.. hi!" she says, grinning. It's a weird feeling to be completely immobile, yet she can look around.
Kein is thankful that he got to her head first. It wouldn't matter what other injury might be there if she couldn't breath. The grin and laughter help to relax him, but even so, he asks, again, "Are you okay?" He doesn't wait for the answer before he continues to dig her out from underneath the snow. After all, if she /isn't/ all right, leaving her under the snow isn't going to help matters any, and if she is... Well, he has kind of lost the playful mindset he had, though it might just be a temporary loss.
"I'm fine, except that I feel really stupid right now," Nayeli's grin never wavers as she speaks, though, and once she has enough snow removed from her upper body, she's able to wriggle out and finally break free. "Whew. Thanks for the help. That's something I don't want to happen again!" She flops down on her belly and glares at the tree. "Guess I should've been more careful, but I had the best idea for getting you, so..." Another grin.
Kein can at least smile at her, once she reassures him that she's all right. He lies down in front of her and, with a gentle nuzzle to her face, says, "I'm sure you'll be able to get me in the future, Nayeli. I'm just glad you're safe." For just a few minutes, the future has seemed like a tolerable, perhaps even enjoyable, concept, and if he had lost her now... How would he have recovered from that?
Oh, she'll definitely get him in the future. Many times. And then again, he'll get her as well. Many times. The joy of playing together! But... he's leaving, and this particular line of thought now causes the girl to frown slightly. "You know, it's kind of weird, thinking about leaving home. I had always imagined that I would live my whole life here in Amaranth." She smiles wistfully, giving a slow nuzzle in return. "But now that you're here, I guess that my old ideas are all about to change." He's worried about her being safe? The only place that she /feels/ safe is around him. And around Daddy too, of course, but now that he's not Chieftain anymore, and might be leaving forever... another line of thought that she doesn't want to dwell on right now.
Kein takes a deep breath, his smile slowly fading. There is no frown, but he becomes more serious, more thoughtful. "I don't know how far we're going to have to go, Nayeli, but... Since my mom is staying here... I hope it won't be so far that we can't visit. Or that you can't visit, if your brother won't let me. This won't be the last time we're here." He honestly doesn't hate it so much that he won't come back from time to time.
Nayeli is still in somewhat of a reflective/contemplative mood, and her tone evidences this as she says, "A lot is going to change. I don't know how my brother will do as Chieftain, or even how long he'll /be/ Chieftain. For all I know, he'll just let Daddy take over again." Maybe it's just the fact that she's in relatively close proximity to Kein, or maybe it's just the fact that she now knows the full truth of what happened between her father and Maulisho. Either way, she's not sure she even /likes/ the idea of her father regaining his former position. Yes, she still loves him. But she does think his punishment is fair.
Kein does frown now. Kein hadn't thought of that, not until now. What if Chesmu becomes chieftain again, and Mom is still here? He's going to have to talk to Yuma, at the very least. "Do you think he'd do that?" Nayeli and her brother weren't close even before Kein left, but she has to know him better than Kein does. He only suggested that Yuma lead because it seemed the only way to make everything work, but if Yuma is just going to turn around and reinstate his father... That's just not acceptable.
Nayeli hadn't meant at all to take this conversation down a depressing path, but she realizes that this /is/ important to discuss. "I honestly don't know," she admits, resting her head down on her forepaws. "Yuma's probably as surprised as the rest of us that you wanted him to be the next Chieftain. I don't know what he'll do." What she wouldn't give to hear the conversation between Yuma and her father right about now. There's also a hidden question in her own statement though, as she is also dying to know why Kein didn't accept the role that his mother had tried to provide for him.
Kein has already told her most of the reasons for it. He just hasn't linked them directly to his decision not to be the Amaranth Chieftain. He missed the hidden question, though. Right now, his mind is too preoccupied with whether he did, in fact, do the right thing. "Nayeli... I can't let your brother just give the territory back to Chesmu." Maybe, if his mother had decided to come with him, but since she's staying here...
Kein's words aren't surprising at all. Nayeli understands how strongly her friend feels about keeping Chesmu out of the role of Chieftain, especially after what's been spoken in the last twenty-four hours. "Kein, I need to know something. Do you..." She hesitates. This might be a question that Kein doesn't want to answer, for sake of their friendship. But she really /wants/ to know, regardless. "Do you hate my father?"
Kein doesn't answer that question immediately. He looks away from Nayeli and spends a moment thinking. He knows that hatred is not a good thing, but even though he has calmed since the encounter at the well ended... That anger isn't gone. Not entirely. He might be able to control it better, since Chesmu actually did step down, even if it was after countless attempts to get out of it. He still doesn't ever want to see Chesmu again, though, and he can't imagine that he'd be able to be objective in any conversation with the former chieftain. "I'm sorry, but... I do." It's not something he can just get over. He's not sure he'll ever be able to offer the forgiveness that his mother and Kasim did.
Even though she was expecting that very answer, it still hits her hard. Two cougars that she loves dearly.. yet they hate each other. Nayeli raises her head off of her paws by a few inches in order to look at Kein eye-to-eye. "Can you accept that I still love him? I understand that he's done a terrible thing, but.. he /is/ still my father." She can feel herself nearly trembling, as if the possibility of Kein's negative answer will do something emotionally terrible to her.
Kein told her he wasn't going to make her choose, and he meant it. It was rough seeing her standing at her father's side, but he can't blame her for it. Though he's certain his mother would never do anything as terrible as what Chesmu did, he's also certain that he would be there to support her through anything, no matter what. It hurts him, but that's his problem to get over, not hers. "I know that, Nayeli. I... I can't say he'll be welcome in my... our... territory, when we find it, but I would never try to prevent you from seeing him." Not unless Chesmu proves himself to be a danger to her, at any time.
Wow. It was enough of a mental hurdle to be able to think about living alone somewhere else with her best friend, away from her family. She hadn't really thought about the whole having-their-own-territory thing, though. A silly oversight, as it would only make sense. "I don't think we'll have to worry about him coming to wherever we're at, especially if we visit Amaranth on a regular basis." At least regular enough to where her father can expect her to come with some manner of consistency.
Kein gives a nod of his head. Even if he is never welcome here again, he can escort Nayeli to Amaranth territory once every couple months, and visit with his family on he borders of Amaranth territory... But the first visit might not be for a while. He doesn't want to establish a territory only to lose it immediately because he leaves for a little while. That's something he'll have to think about, but for now, he stands, just long enough to move so that he can lie down beside Nayeli. Once there, he leans his head against hers and says, "We can make this work."
"Of course we can. I mean.. you can do anything, remember?" Nayeli laughs softly, leaning a little into him as well. She can definitely get used to this. Purr. "Do you have any idea where you want to go to? I don't really know what exists outside of Amaranth, other than what I could see from the border." It's not like she ever got to go exploring or touring much like Yuma did, being Daddy's favorite and all.
"I don't know yet. I think we'll just go north until we find a good place." And if they don't find a good place that is within a reasonable distance of Amaranth territory, niether too far nor too close? Well, then they can try another direction. When he was young, Kein always did want a chance to explore. This may be the only chance he gets, and he'll want to make sure he'll be comfortable spending the rest of his life in whatever territory they choose.
Perhaps, if she had ever been told the story of how Kein's mother rescued a young she-wolf and escorted her back toward her packlands, Nayeli might have known that to the north was the land belonging to the Lazuli wolves. But she hadn't ever heard; the north was just like any other direction--a wide-open place just waiting to be explored. "I guess we'd have to settle down somewhere, though I kind of like the idea of just exploring everywhere possible with you." Almost like the kind of game that would be fun to do as cubs. Except this, of course, would be much different than any game they've ever played, whether with siblings or with each other.
Kein smiles at what Nayeli says, and nuzzles against her lightly. She's not in a hurry to settle down, and that furthers his conviction that this is the best possible course of action. They can spend as long as they want just looking, finding out what is out there, before they try to decide on a place to live. "I like that idea too."
"So when do you want to leave?" Nayeli can't keep the excitement out of her voice, though she knows that they both have their goodbyes to give to various family members and friends. And.. various other matters to take care of as well; Kein's already hinted at possibly "convincing" Yuma not to let her father become Chieftain again. How he plans on doing that, she has no idea. Kein really doesn't have any influence over Yuma, and short of threatening to kill him, there doesn't seem to be anything Kein can do to ensure Yuma won't give the position back to Chesmu once Kein and Nayeli are gone.
Kein can't give her a day and time. He just doesn't know yet. He remains lying beside her, but for the first time, he tells himself that he really ought to head back, go talk to Mom, that he shouldn't put it off any longer. He does, though. "I think it's going to take a couple days, at least." He has to talk to Mom, then talk to Yuma... And then work his way through his goodbyes. He's still not sure how he's going to handle those.
Nayeli gives a quiet "Mmm" of agreement. She really had no idea how long he was planning on taking, but a few days sounds fine to her. In the days to come she'll have /plenty/ of questions to ask Kein--goodness, he's been gone and living in some unknown land for a long time now!--but she doesn't want to make this conversation any more somber than it has become. "It's still hard to believe that you're back.. and that we're friends again," she murmurs, leaning her head a /tad/ bit more up against his.
Kein closes his eyes and breathes deeply. He was so certain for so long that this would never happen that he wouldn't be surprised if it /were/ a dream. Depressed and upset, definitely, but not surprised. "I'm sorry that it took so long." He probably could have convinced his mom and Kasim to return to Amaranth sooner, but by the time they were ready and he and Pel were old enough, he'd lost all the hope he had that he could restore this.
"Don't apologize!" Nayeli exclaims, pulling back so she can turn her head to look directly at Kein. "It wasn't your fault! We're friends again now, so.. it's okay that it took as long as it did." She won't even begin to claim any kind of spirituality like her mother or the shamaness, but she /does/ remember them talking about how certain things have to happen at certain times, or something like that.
She's wrong. In so many ways, it is his fault. She's right, though. Everything worked out, so it doesn't matter. Kein nods lightly, then looks in her direction. She has grown up so much. She's not at all the same as when he left, not physically or emotionally, but it seems like every way she has changed has been for the better, and he smiles lightly. "Maybe I'm glad it took as long as it did. You've gotten so much prettier." In other words, he really doesn't want this conversation to turn to why it took them so long to return, but he /is/ sncere in what he says.
Nayeli is about to say something else, but Kein's unexpected compliment leaves her abruptly silent, flushing like she's never done before. /That/ is something she's definitly not used to. She remembers plenty of times when she would compliment Kein on some particular attribute: his speed, or strength, or cleverness--like when he did the impossible by climbing that tree.
Kein's smile remains through her silence, and he attempts to touch his nose to hers. He can't explain it, but he would give anything if he could just spend the next couple hours looking at her, appreciating her, and for this reason, the knowledge that they will never have to be apart for long periods of time again makes him honestly happy. And, on the opposite side of that, that little voice that refuses to stop telling him he needs to start heading back to well upsets him.
"Thanks," she murmurs. "You're the first one to tell me that." Perhaps it would have been a different story if she wasn't so distant from her father. Compliments were very few and far between, coming from him. Except to Yuma, of course. Not for the first time, Nayeli wonders if Kein experienced any of that same kind of treatment from his own mother. Pelutho, as fun as she remembers him being at times, simply wasn't the big and strong and promising cub that Kein was."
If his mother shows any actual favoritism, Kein hasn't noticed it. Of course she treats him and Pelutho differently, does different things with them. They're far too different to be treated the same. She has never consistantly chosen one of them over the other, though, like Chesmu has always seemed to do with Yuma. "Everyone else who has ever seen you must have been blind, then." Of course, she probably hasn't been exposed to too many cougars outside of her family, but still, you'd think her father could give her a compliment now and again.
Blind? No.. Nayeli knows that that's not the kind of thing her siblings would say, and as for her parents? Her mother wasn't one to talk much, and her father just never payed her much attention. But to hear this coming from her best friend, it means a lot to her. "Something I've always wondered, Kein.. how did I end up being your best friend? Why not Misae, or Chandani?" She /did/ have two other sisters, after all.
When his mother asked him a similar question a long time ago, he told her it was because Nayeli was the first cougar he met. That's still a large part of it. He has spent the most time with her. He knows her best. And though Chandani was always nice, he just /likes/ Nayeli. In an attempt not to downplay it, though, he says, "Because you were always there, everytime I ever needed someone." To play with, to talk to... Nayeli never said no. She was always every bit as enthused about playing with a non-sibling as he was. Never really made fun of him, was always eager to listen...
Nayeli sighs, shaking her head. "I wasn't there for you when your sister died." She swallows hard. "I'm so sorry about Ruut'h.. I can't imagine what it would be like if I lost a sister like that." His mother said that she was eaten by a wolf. Nayeli shivers at the terrible thought. How awful!
Kein draws his head back and looks at the ground when Nayeli mentions Ruut'h. What is Nayeli going to think when she learns the truth about that? Is it better to find out now? With a deep sigh, he says, "It's my fault that she died." There is guilt and sorrow in his tone when he speaks, but he keeps his composure well enough. It hurts him to think about, to speak about, but it no longer makes him freeze up like it did when he was younger.
"Kein!" Nayeli says worriedly, "What do you mean it's your fault?" From what she's heard, which isn't much, Ruut'h's death was a terrible accident. How can Kein claim responsibility for such an event? It's not like he /tried/ to have Ruut'h killed, right? Maulisho /did/ say that it was a rogue wolf, didn't she?
"I was trying to come back here, and she followed me. She wouldn't go back to the oasis, and when the wolf showed up... I made her stay on the ground while I checked out a tree for us to sleep in, to make sure there was nothing in it. I thought he could be trusted, thought he was one of my mom's friends, but..." Obviously, he wasn't. Kein continues looking at the ground, is afraid of seeing in Nayeli's expression the same thing he was afraid of seeing in his mother's for a long time. Anger. Disappointment. Anything.
The only thing that Nayeli shows is sorrow. There's nothing remotely accusatory in either her expression or her voice. She remembers Kein first telling her a long time ago about how he had bested a wolf, but over time, and as she grew more and more familiar with what exactly a wolf /was/, she can see now that there almost certainly wasn't anything Kein /could/ have done. Especially if this had happened when he was younger. "Were you trying to do the right thing then?" she asks. "If you were, then that's the best you could have done." She leans back over and nuzzles her head up under his jaw. "I don't fault you at all."
Kein would not blame her if she were at all upset because of the part he played in Ruut'h's death, but he feels some relief that she isn't. He nuzzles against the top of her head lightly. "Thank you, Nayeli." What for? Well, for not turning away from him, of course. It doesn't do anything to lessen his guilt, not really, but he is thankful that she doesn't hate him for his inability to protect Ruut'h after leading her into danger.
That's one of the awkward questions that Nayeli has, and she's really thankful that they were able to get through it with only minor difficulty. Now, back to a more enjoyable topic. "What kind of land do you want to settle down in? Another mountain, perhaps? Or someplace warmer? Maybe by a river?" There are probably types of terrain that she's never seen or imagined before!
"I don't know. I've never lived anywhere but here and in the desert. I know I /don't/ want to live there again." It wasn't quite as bad when the left, but in the summer, it was intolerably hot, and it was so hard to find food. Maybe as an adult, he'd have an easier time of it, but there definitely wasn't a lot of small prey. "I'm sure we'll find a good place, though. Some place we both like."
"The desert? What's that?" Obviously where they traveled to after leaving here, but Nayeli's never heard the term before. And as far as finding a place they both like, she has no doubt about that at all. As far as she's concerned, as long as she's with Kein, any place would do just fine. Plentiful prey and water would be a bonus. Some snow would be nice as well. In fact, she'd also like a good rock for sunning, if such could be available. And plenty of grass.
"It's hot there, and there are barely any plants, not even grass. The oasis wasn't that bad, but it was the only place with water. I don't know why anyone would choose to live there." There were a few interesting landmarks, but not enough to make it a place he'd want to live. Kein spends a moment thinking about what they passed on the way from the desert back to Amaranth, then says, "Maybe if we don't find anything north of here, we can try towards the west." They'll have time to figure it out."
Nayeli gives a tiny nod that Kein would most likely feel instead of see. "I guess a desert would be a good place to hide since it sounds like nobody would ever want to live there." Certainly not cougars, anyway. What would possess a wolfpack to live out there? Wow. Kein must surely be glad to be out of a land like that. And what /will/ they find to the north? Hopefully not any more of this desert-land; Nayeli would be greatly disappointed if Amaranth was surrounded by terrain like that.
Kein spends a moment in quiet thought, just enjoying being here. Then, he finally succumbs to that little voice, standing slowly. "I have to talk to my mom, Nayeli. I don't think she's going to be happy." She told him he could do whatever he wanted with his life, yes, but after that, he told her he would do his best to lead Amaranth. Hopefully she won't be /too/ upset, but he can't leave speaking to her until tomorrow, as much as he would like to just stay right here and sleep by Nayeli. Besides, he's not sure he even ought to be sleeping in Amaranth.
A slow smile finds it way onto Nayeli's muzzle. She remembers quite well when she used to think Kein's mother was the epitome of scariness. It was never something she could place a claw on, but.. something about her. Not a 'creepy' feeling per se, but just the feeling of being in the presence of someone who could eat you all up within a mere second. The wild imagination of a cub, perhaps. Nayeli finally speaks after several seconds pass, "I.. understand. Are you going to go ahead and say all of your goodbyes as well, or do you want to wait another day or so?" Implied question: are you coming back to me after you finish talking to your mother?
"I'm not saying goodbye yet. There are other things I need to do first." Namely, speak with Yuma, but the last he saw, Yuma had gone off to speak with Chesmu. He'll wait until tomorrow before he tries to find the new chieftain of Amaranth. "Are you sleeping here tonight?" It will take Kein a while to decide whether it's okay for him to stay in Amaranth entirely until he leaves, but if nothing else, he will come back to say goodnight to Nayeli, maybe even lie beside her until she falls asleep, if she wants.
The question catches her somewhat by surprise. "I.. I hadn't decided yet." Her voice is slightly puzzled. Maybe it was just a foolish assumption that she wouldn't have to sleep alone if she were to be with Kein from now on? But of course, they haven't exactly left yet. "I guess I am." Maybe she'll dig a small snowcave or something. Of course, with her luck, it would probably collapse on her.
"I'll come back here before I go to sleep, then." Or maybe he'll decide he doesn't care if Yuma would be upset about him being in the territory, and he'll sleep with Nayeli tonight anyway. Regardless, he lowers his head to nuzzle at her gently. "If you're not here, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Maybe she'll want to go talk to her mother or one of her siblings.
Nayeli smiles, turning her head sideways so she can give a quick lick to Kein's neckfur. "I'll be waiting here for you, promise." If Kein's going to be back tonight, then she can wait on any goodbyes she has. It's not like she's too much of a hurry, either. And with the way things turned out, it might be best for her to let things settle down before she announces her departure to her family members. Especially her father.
Kein smiles as she licks at his neck, then takes a step away and nods in respond to what she says. Before turning away, he says, "I'll be back soon." Then, finally, he turns to begin heading back south, where he last saw his mother. Hopefully she won't have wandered too far away from the well, or he might have a very long evening ahead of him, tracking her down, speaking to her, and then making his way back here.
Nayeli - Female Adolescent Cougar
Kein - Male Adolescent Cougar
Scene:
After the confrontation with Chesmu ends, Nayeli and Kein head north to talk about their plans.
- Snowy Highlands -
It's probably due to the fact that she's finally alone with Kein that her mind is finally able to relax from all the difficult questions that were running around in a frenzy. Not that she anticipates this time with Kein will be devoid of difficult questions and answers, but nonetheless, there's a noticeable change in the overall feel of things. No more hostility and worrying that blood is about to be spilled. She /is/ kind of curious why he wants to head north to the snow, but she doesn't mind a little change of scenery. Not to mention the privacy, too!
Kein takes every moment he can get to just walk with Nayeli. This may not be his home anymore, but it is much nicer than the desert. Much cooler. He doesn't know where he'll be going, but it won't be back there. It's just too bad that Amaranth territory at the desert are the only two places he has ever been, the only two places he knows. He supposes he'll just head north until he is a couple days away from the scent marks of any cougars and search from there. And as much as he knows this is what he should be doing, he doesn't want to do it. He can finally appreciate what his mother told him long ago, after his run-in with that wolf. It's always better to stay with the ones you love. With a deep sigh, he says, simply, "So." It's not much, but he dreads the conversation they're about to have.
"So," Nayeli echoes, glancing sideways at Kein. At her friend, despite everything that just happened. Even if he were to go away from here and never return, he will continue to remain her friend. And who knows? Maybe he's changed his mind and has decided to stay here, especially now that her father is no longer Chieftain. It's a possibility, anyway, though the girl is pretty sure that it won't happen. Kein was so adamant during that confrontation about how there was nothing left worth staying for.
Kein would love to plead with Nayeli for her to accompany him. It isn't just his pride that keeps him from doing so, though. He just can't justify making her choose. Either that or he couldn't handle the rejection of her choosing her family over him. Better to leave it open than to demand an answer, but after a while, he says, "I hope you'll think about coming with me, Nayeli." No, he isn't staying. But if she won't come with him, he'll have one more reason to try to visit here, if Yuma is going to allow it. Given the look Yuma gave him not too long ago, that's still up in the air.
Nayeli stops suddenly, causing a break in the rhythmic crunching of snow under her paws. "Coming with you? You /are/ leaving, then?" She looks away, fighting the sudden lump in her throat. "I guess there's no way to convince you to stay?" Yes, she's fairly used to living without Kein being anywhere close. And yes, it was a fairly miserable life, at that. And now that he's back... but leaving again so soon!
Kein stops walking when Nayeli does, turning just slightly so that he can look at her. In response to her question, he says, "I don't belong here." He just gave up the only slim chance he had at /ever/ belonging here, but he has to recognize that it was slim. There's no guarantee any of the other cougars in the area would have accepted his presence, and when Nayeli's mother resigned, and one of her siblings took over... What if it wasn't Nayeli? Could Kein had fulfilled his duties with a cougaress he barely knows, has no feelings for?
"But isn't this your /home/, Kein? This is where you were born and grew up!" At least... somewhat grew up. No need to go into /that/ particular subject. Nayeli sighs, staring up at the sky. "I'm not trying to talk you out of leaving." Despite her earlier question, she really doesn't want Kein to think that she's trying to be an obstacle. He has his own reasons for leaving, and surely they're all good and valid at that.
That's the most upsetting thing about this. Amaranth just doesn't feel like home. Kein feels almost like a stranger to these lands. He doesn't know anyone, not really. He was young when he left, unfamiliar with most of the adults of the tribe, and as for the cubs... Well, they aren't cubs anymore. "It isn't. It hasn't been for a long time." Yuma was quick enough to point that out. Why can't Nayeli and Chesmu see it? Why can't Mom? "I'm not going to try to make you choose. I know that it /is/ your home, but... I want you with me, whenever you're ready." Because any home he does find won't be complete without her.
Deep down, Nayeli feels nothing but sorrow for her friend. To feel completely alienated from the place one once called 'home'. It must be an awful feeling. Where does he plan on going? Or doing? Perhaps going back to the desert? That might be what he considers 'home' now, despite the fact that his family won't be with him this time. "Kein, I am ready now. I've.. been ready. Ever since that dream." She looks away again. "I just wasn't ready to admit it, either to you or to myself."
Kein feels new hope when Nayeli speaks again. He will still miss his mother and his brother, and probably even Kasim too, though he wouldn't admit it right now. If Nayeli is with him, though, he won't be entirely alone, and he would do anything to keep her from changing her mind, which is why he is quick to reply with, "We don't have to leave immediately. You can take as much time as you want to say goodbye." He knows he isn't going to have an easy time of saying goodbye to his mother, especially since he doesn't want to do it the next time he sees her. He just wants to talk with her, wants her to say something that will make everything make sense, make everything all right. She has to know something that will help. She always does.
Nayeli knows that Kein will want to tell his own family goodbye, so she just nods and begins walking again. Crunch, crunch, crunch. She still doesn't know anything about Kein's living as far away as the desert, and just the thought of somewhere so hot and dry... the opposite of one of her favorite places here in Amaranth. She loves the snow. And now that she's here, all alone with Kein, she wants to enjoy herself! With a mischievous grin, she suddenly dashes off, hoping that Kein will begin chasing her.
Kein has not done a whole lot of playing in recent months. Even time with his brother has usually been spent just exploring, which, while entertaining, is no so lighthearted as playing. For a moment, he doesn't understand the grin, but then Nayeli runs off. Kein remains there for just a moment, at first surprised. Then, though, a small grin breaks out on his face. Still, he doesn't run after her. Rather, he lets her get a little furher away... Then a little further... Then, finally, he chases after her, making an honest effort to close the distance that he allowed to grow between them. What fun would the game be if it were over as soon as it began?
When she glances behind her and sees Kein just standing there, she's nearly tempted to just stop and trot back, as he obviously doesn't seem to be in the mood for playing. But, wait.. no, here he comes! With a delighted laugh, Nayeli continues on, intentionally letting him catch up. Not too quickly, but enough to where he'll be close enough before too long... almost... wait for it... closer... yes...
Kein has done plenty of chasing since he left Amaranth, but something about his mindset during this playful chase makes it relaxing, makes it fun, which, combined with the strain of the physical exertion, serves to take his mind off of his troubles like nothing else possibly could. For this reason, just like Nayeli isn't quite giving it everything she has, neither is Kein. He would gladly play with her like this until he fell down from exhaustion. He has no idea she may have anything planned for when he gets closer, and really, he has nothing planned for once he finally 'catches' her.
She definitely /does/ have something planned, and something that can only happen in this particular area of Amaranth. And once Nayeli thinks that her pursuer is finally close enough, she suddenly turns, sweeps her forepaws together to gather snow, and then flings it outward in the general direction of the approaching Kein. Surprise! She'll wait to see how he reacts before she decides whether or not to continue running or to do something else. Like.. pounce him.
Kein doesn't have time to stop running when he sees Nayeli turn around, and he is considerably close when, all of a sudden, there is a flurry of snow around him, bits of it sticking to his fur, or landing against his nose. His laughing is almost as much involuntary, cause by the tickling sensation of the bits of snow against his sensitive nose, as it is out of genuine amusement, and joy, at the way Nayeli plays. It's like she has retained so much of the youthful innocence that he lost, and getting to experience it again is more than he ever could have hoped for. During this time, he has no way to retaliate, not until after he shakes his head to dislodge bits of snow.
Score! Nayeli laughs in unison with Kein, though hers isn't muffled at all as she isn't the one getting ambushed by snow. With a grin, she sends a bit more of the cold fluff in Kein's direction before launching herself at him. Okay, perhaps not the most fair of moves since he /is/ a little distracted at the moment, but Nayeli really doesn't care. All that means is that she has a better chance of tackling him!
Shaking his head doesn't do a whole lot of good, as all of the snow that is shed is soon replaced by a fresh pawful. This time, he actually raises a paw and ducks his head, planning on wiping some of the snow off of his face, which leaves him particularly vulnerable when she leaps at him. Hey! He can't quite keep his footing, but even as he falls over onto his side, he attempts to bat at her with a paw, absolutely no force behind the swing and his his claws safely sheathed. So long as she doesn't seem upset that he is not acting at all heroly, he is more than happy to let her keep the upper paw in order to continue the playing, but he has to put up some token resistance.
It is, perhaps, a sign of Nayeli's maturity since they last played as cubs that she isn't looking for any kind of physical heroics. Perhaps at this stage, she's more impressed by his emotional strength, especially with everything that's been happening. The way he was able to navigate the difficult situations that have come up--both between the two of them, as well as the large confrontation that just finished. And, perhaps, as Nayeli continues to mature into an adult, she will look for Kein's 'heroics' to be more along the lines of romantic prowess. Perhaps. But for now, none of that is going through her mind. The only thing she's concerned with is the struggle at hand. Snowspray is going everywhere as she slides past where Kein was just a moment ago, getting a very cold pawpad swiped on her nose on the way past. Whoops! Slipping! Nayeli has just enough time to yowl before her paws slide out from under her and she goes sprawling. Doh! She almost had him, too!
Can Kein really fail to take advantage of such an opportunity? He /does/ look her over after she yowls, his smile fading momentarily, but as soon as he knows that she was just surprised, not hurt, he bounds after her, intending to pounce at her and nose at her neck. Ever since they learned that teeth can really hurt, that became the next best way to determine the winner of any given round with his siblings.
Oh no, here he comes! Nayeli gives her friend a comical look of terror as he leaps toward her, but then she's doing the same thing that he did just a moment before. With a devious grin, she rolls to the side, trying to flail all the snow she can toward him while she makes her brilliant escape. Hah! Nayeli jumps up, using her claws for traction when needed, and bounds away, laughing for all she's worth. Oh, stars above... this is /fun/!
Kein misses Nayeli as she gets her footing a lot more quickly than he imagined she would, and he is stuck trying to clear snow from his vision again, by which time she already has several feet on him. With a mock growl, Kein takes after her again. As he runs, he tries to figure out what to do incase she plans on doing the same thing she did when they first started playing, wait until he gets close and then throw snow at him. As soon as he gets an idea, he slows his pace. Not by much, hardly enough to be noticeable, but definitely slower.
Nayeli may not be the brightest cougaress that ever existed, but she certainly knows better than to try the same trick twice. And so, between her running and laughing, her mind is busy at work, trying to come up with a new and cunning plan of attack. Maybe she should try to incorporate a tree or rock or some other means of cover into it? Or maybe she should just stop and wait for him? Hmm. How else can she use snow? She's glancing around as she runs, trying to come up with something.
Kein keeps this slightly slower pace as he runs after Nayeli, watching and waiting until he's close enough that a burst of speed ought to take him to her quickly. If she's doing as she was before, going slow eough that he can catch up, it shouldn't take too much longer.
Aha! There's a tree that might do the trick. Nayeli gives an extra burst of speed, and once she's close enough, leaps forward and upward and grasps ahold of the trunk. Unfortunately for her, she hadn't realized that this tree wasn't quite sturdy enough, and so her weight causes the tree to sway just enough... and loose all the snow that had been sitting along its branches. With a startled yowl, she has just enough time to drop the several feet back to the ground before getting buried by a mass of snow. WHUMP!
Kein is still far enough back that he was capable of seeing the whole thing happen. As before, his first thought is whether she's injured, and every aspect of his plan is forgotten. It will probably always be his undoing in any game they ever play... He runs as quickly as he can to close the distance between them, then starts brushing snow away from her with his forepaws quickly. When he speaks, his voice is raised, so she can hear it through the snow. "Nayeli! Are you okay?" He /knows/ that fall wasn't from a fatal height, and that the snow on top of her can't be heavy enough to crush her, but there's still the chance that something went wrong, that there was a sharp rock hidden under the snow where she fell or she landed wrong and injured something or... Well, there are too many things to think about.
It's a strange sound, one that starts off so quietly that it might be impossible to hear over the sound of Kein's digging. It comes from underneath the snow heap, so as the male digs further and further, the sound grows gradually louder and louder. Finally, it's easily recognized as the same yowl that Nayeli made before, but once enough snow is removed to uncover her head, it changes into startled laughter. "Umm.. hi!" she says, grinning. It's a weird feeling to be completely immobile, yet she can look around.
Kein is thankful that he got to her head first. It wouldn't matter what other injury might be there if she couldn't breath. The grin and laughter help to relax him, but even so, he asks, again, "Are you okay?" He doesn't wait for the answer before he continues to dig her out from underneath the snow. After all, if she /isn't/ all right, leaving her under the snow isn't going to help matters any, and if she is... Well, he has kind of lost the playful mindset he had, though it might just be a temporary loss.
"I'm fine, except that I feel really stupid right now," Nayeli's grin never wavers as she speaks, though, and once she has enough snow removed from her upper body, she's able to wriggle out and finally break free. "Whew. Thanks for the help. That's something I don't want to happen again!" She flops down on her belly and glares at the tree. "Guess I should've been more careful, but I had the best idea for getting you, so..." Another grin.
Kein can at least smile at her, once she reassures him that she's all right. He lies down in front of her and, with a gentle nuzzle to her face, says, "I'm sure you'll be able to get me in the future, Nayeli. I'm just glad you're safe." For just a few minutes, the future has seemed like a tolerable, perhaps even enjoyable, concept, and if he had lost her now... How would he have recovered from that?
Oh, she'll definitely get him in the future. Many times. And then again, he'll get her as well. Many times. The joy of playing together! But... he's leaving, and this particular line of thought now causes the girl to frown slightly. "You know, it's kind of weird, thinking about leaving home. I had always imagined that I would live my whole life here in Amaranth." She smiles wistfully, giving a slow nuzzle in return. "But now that you're here, I guess that my old ideas are all about to change." He's worried about her being safe? The only place that she /feels/ safe is around him. And around Daddy too, of course, but now that he's not Chieftain anymore, and might be leaving forever... another line of thought that she doesn't want to dwell on right now.
Kein takes a deep breath, his smile slowly fading. There is no frown, but he becomes more serious, more thoughtful. "I don't know how far we're going to have to go, Nayeli, but... Since my mom is staying here... I hope it won't be so far that we can't visit. Or that you can't visit, if your brother won't let me. This won't be the last time we're here." He honestly doesn't hate it so much that he won't come back from time to time.
Nayeli is still in somewhat of a reflective/contemplative mood, and her tone evidences this as she says, "A lot is going to change. I don't know how my brother will do as Chieftain, or even how long he'll /be/ Chieftain. For all I know, he'll just let Daddy take over again." Maybe it's just the fact that she's in relatively close proximity to Kein, or maybe it's just the fact that she now knows the full truth of what happened between her father and Maulisho. Either way, she's not sure she even /likes/ the idea of her father regaining his former position. Yes, she still loves him. But she does think his punishment is fair.
Kein does frown now. Kein hadn't thought of that, not until now. What if Chesmu becomes chieftain again, and Mom is still here? He's going to have to talk to Yuma, at the very least. "Do you think he'd do that?" Nayeli and her brother weren't close even before Kein left, but she has to know him better than Kein does. He only suggested that Yuma lead because it seemed the only way to make everything work, but if Yuma is just going to turn around and reinstate his father... That's just not acceptable.
Nayeli hadn't meant at all to take this conversation down a depressing path, but she realizes that this /is/ important to discuss. "I honestly don't know," she admits, resting her head down on her forepaws. "Yuma's probably as surprised as the rest of us that you wanted him to be the next Chieftain. I don't know what he'll do." What she wouldn't give to hear the conversation between Yuma and her father right about now. There's also a hidden question in her own statement though, as she is also dying to know why Kein didn't accept the role that his mother had tried to provide for him.
Kein has already told her most of the reasons for it. He just hasn't linked them directly to his decision not to be the Amaranth Chieftain. He missed the hidden question, though. Right now, his mind is too preoccupied with whether he did, in fact, do the right thing. "Nayeli... I can't let your brother just give the territory back to Chesmu." Maybe, if his mother had decided to come with him, but since she's staying here...
Kein's words aren't surprising at all. Nayeli understands how strongly her friend feels about keeping Chesmu out of the role of Chieftain, especially after what's been spoken in the last twenty-four hours. "Kein, I need to know something. Do you..." She hesitates. This might be a question that Kein doesn't want to answer, for sake of their friendship. But she really /wants/ to know, regardless. "Do you hate my father?"
Kein doesn't answer that question immediately. He looks away from Nayeli and spends a moment thinking. He knows that hatred is not a good thing, but even though he has calmed since the encounter at the well ended... That anger isn't gone. Not entirely. He might be able to control it better, since Chesmu actually did step down, even if it was after countless attempts to get out of it. He still doesn't ever want to see Chesmu again, though, and he can't imagine that he'd be able to be objective in any conversation with the former chieftain. "I'm sorry, but... I do." It's not something he can just get over. He's not sure he'll ever be able to offer the forgiveness that his mother and Kasim did.
Even though she was expecting that very answer, it still hits her hard. Two cougars that she loves dearly.. yet they hate each other. Nayeli raises her head off of her paws by a few inches in order to look at Kein eye-to-eye. "Can you accept that I still love him? I understand that he's done a terrible thing, but.. he /is/ still my father." She can feel herself nearly trembling, as if the possibility of Kein's negative answer will do something emotionally terrible to her.
Kein told her he wasn't going to make her choose, and he meant it. It was rough seeing her standing at her father's side, but he can't blame her for it. Though he's certain his mother would never do anything as terrible as what Chesmu did, he's also certain that he would be there to support her through anything, no matter what. It hurts him, but that's his problem to get over, not hers. "I know that, Nayeli. I... I can't say he'll be welcome in my... our... territory, when we find it, but I would never try to prevent you from seeing him." Not unless Chesmu proves himself to be a danger to her, at any time.
Wow. It was enough of a mental hurdle to be able to think about living alone somewhere else with her best friend, away from her family. She hadn't really thought about the whole having-their-own-territory thing, though. A silly oversight, as it would only make sense. "I don't think we'll have to worry about him coming to wherever we're at, especially if we visit Amaranth on a regular basis." At least regular enough to where her father can expect her to come with some manner of consistency.
Kein gives a nod of his head. Even if he is never welcome here again, he can escort Nayeli to Amaranth territory once every couple months, and visit with his family on he borders of Amaranth territory... But the first visit might not be for a while. He doesn't want to establish a territory only to lose it immediately because he leaves for a little while. That's something he'll have to think about, but for now, he stands, just long enough to move so that he can lie down beside Nayeli. Once there, he leans his head against hers and says, "We can make this work."
"Of course we can. I mean.. you can do anything, remember?" Nayeli laughs softly, leaning a little into him as well. She can definitely get used to this. Purr. "Do you have any idea where you want to go to? I don't really know what exists outside of Amaranth, other than what I could see from the border." It's not like she ever got to go exploring or touring much like Yuma did, being Daddy's favorite and all.
"I don't know yet. I think we'll just go north until we find a good place." And if they don't find a good place that is within a reasonable distance of Amaranth territory, niether too far nor too close? Well, then they can try another direction. When he was young, Kein always did want a chance to explore. This may be the only chance he gets, and he'll want to make sure he'll be comfortable spending the rest of his life in whatever territory they choose.
Perhaps, if she had ever been told the story of how Kein's mother rescued a young she-wolf and escorted her back toward her packlands, Nayeli might have known that to the north was the land belonging to the Lazuli wolves. But she hadn't ever heard; the north was just like any other direction--a wide-open place just waiting to be explored. "I guess we'd have to settle down somewhere, though I kind of like the idea of just exploring everywhere possible with you." Almost like the kind of game that would be fun to do as cubs. Except this, of course, would be much different than any game they've ever played, whether with siblings or with each other.
Kein smiles at what Nayeli says, and nuzzles against her lightly. She's not in a hurry to settle down, and that furthers his conviction that this is the best possible course of action. They can spend as long as they want just looking, finding out what is out there, before they try to decide on a place to live. "I like that idea too."
"So when do you want to leave?" Nayeli can't keep the excitement out of her voice, though she knows that they both have their goodbyes to give to various family members and friends. And.. various other matters to take care of as well; Kein's already hinted at possibly "convincing" Yuma not to let her father become Chieftain again. How he plans on doing that, she has no idea. Kein really doesn't have any influence over Yuma, and short of threatening to kill him, there doesn't seem to be anything Kein can do to ensure Yuma won't give the position back to Chesmu once Kein and Nayeli are gone.
Kein can't give her a day and time. He just doesn't know yet. He remains lying beside her, but for the first time, he tells himself that he really ought to head back, go talk to Mom, that he shouldn't put it off any longer. He does, though. "I think it's going to take a couple days, at least." He has to talk to Mom, then talk to Yuma... And then work his way through his goodbyes. He's still not sure how he's going to handle those.
Nayeli gives a quiet "Mmm" of agreement. She really had no idea how long he was planning on taking, but a few days sounds fine to her. In the days to come she'll have /plenty/ of questions to ask Kein--goodness, he's been gone and living in some unknown land for a long time now!--but she doesn't want to make this conversation any more somber than it has become. "It's still hard to believe that you're back.. and that we're friends again," she murmurs, leaning her head a /tad/ bit more up against his.
Kein closes his eyes and breathes deeply. He was so certain for so long that this would never happen that he wouldn't be surprised if it /were/ a dream. Depressed and upset, definitely, but not surprised. "I'm sorry that it took so long." He probably could have convinced his mom and Kasim to return to Amaranth sooner, but by the time they were ready and he and Pel were old enough, he'd lost all the hope he had that he could restore this.
"Don't apologize!" Nayeli exclaims, pulling back so she can turn her head to look directly at Kein. "It wasn't your fault! We're friends again now, so.. it's okay that it took as long as it did." She won't even begin to claim any kind of spirituality like her mother or the shamaness, but she /does/ remember them talking about how certain things have to happen at certain times, or something like that.
She's wrong. In so many ways, it is his fault. She's right, though. Everything worked out, so it doesn't matter. Kein nods lightly, then looks in her direction. She has grown up so much. She's not at all the same as when he left, not physically or emotionally, but it seems like every way she has changed has been for the better, and he smiles lightly. "Maybe I'm glad it took as long as it did. You've gotten so much prettier." In other words, he really doesn't want this conversation to turn to why it took them so long to return, but he /is/ sncere in what he says.
Nayeli is about to say something else, but Kein's unexpected compliment leaves her abruptly silent, flushing like she's never done before. /That/ is something she's definitly not used to. She remembers plenty of times when she would compliment Kein on some particular attribute: his speed, or strength, or cleverness--like when he did the impossible by climbing that tree.
Kein's smile remains through her silence, and he attempts to touch his nose to hers. He can't explain it, but he would give anything if he could just spend the next couple hours looking at her, appreciating her, and for this reason, the knowledge that they will never have to be apart for long periods of time again makes him honestly happy. And, on the opposite side of that, that little voice that refuses to stop telling him he needs to start heading back to well upsets him.
"Thanks," she murmurs. "You're the first one to tell me that." Perhaps it would have been a different story if she wasn't so distant from her father. Compliments were very few and far between, coming from him. Except to Yuma, of course. Not for the first time, Nayeli wonders if Kein experienced any of that same kind of treatment from his own mother. Pelutho, as fun as she remembers him being at times, simply wasn't the big and strong and promising cub that Kein was."
If his mother shows any actual favoritism, Kein hasn't noticed it. Of course she treats him and Pelutho differently, does different things with them. They're far too different to be treated the same. She has never consistantly chosen one of them over the other, though, like Chesmu has always seemed to do with Yuma. "Everyone else who has ever seen you must have been blind, then." Of course, she probably hasn't been exposed to too many cougars outside of her family, but still, you'd think her father could give her a compliment now and again.
Blind? No.. Nayeli knows that that's not the kind of thing her siblings would say, and as for her parents? Her mother wasn't one to talk much, and her father just never payed her much attention. But to hear this coming from her best friend, it means a lot to her. "Something I've always wondered, Kein.. how did I end up being your best friend? Why not Misae, or Chandani?" She /did/ have two other sisters, after all.
When his mother asked him a similar question a long time ago, he told her it was because Nayeli was the first cougar he met. That's still a large part of it. He has spent the most time with her. He knows her best. And though Chandani was always nice, he just /likes/ Nayeli. In an attempt not to downplay it, though, he says, "Because you were always there, everytime I ever needed someone." To play with, to talk to... Nayeli never said no. She was always every bit as enthused about playing with a non-sibling as he was. Never really made fun of him, was always eager to listen...
Nayeli sighs, shaking her head. "I wasn't there for you when your sister died." She swallows hard. "I'm so sorry about Ruut'h.. I can't imagine what it would be like if I lost a sister like that." His mother said that she was eaten by a wolf. Nayeli shivers at the terrible thought. How awful!
Kein draws his head back and looks at the ground when Nayeli mentions Ruut'h. What is Nayeli going to think when she learns the truth about that? Is it better to find out now? With a deep sigh, he says, "It's my fault that she died." There is guilt and sorrow in his tone when he speaks, but he keeps his composure well enough. It hurts him to think about, to speak about, but it no longer makes him freeze up like it did when he was younger.
"Kein!" Nayeli says worriedly, "What do you mean it's your fault?" From what she's heard, which isn't much, Ruut'h's death was a terrible accident. How can Kein claim responsibility for such an event? It's not like he /tried/ to have Ruut'h killed, right? Maulisho /did/ say that it was a rogue wolf, didn't she?
"I was trying to come back here, and she followed me. She wouldn't go back to the oasis, and when the wolf showed up... I made her stay on the ground while I checked out a tree for us to sleep in, to make sure there was nothing in it. I thought he could be trusted, thought he was one of my mom's friends, but..." Obviously, he wasn't. Kein continues looking at the ground, is afraid of seeing in Nayeli's expression the same thing he was afraid of seeing in his mother's for a long time. Anger. Disappointment. Anything.
The only thing that Nayeli shows is sorrow. There's nothing remotely accusatory in either her expression or her voice. She remembers Kein first telling her a long time ago about how he had bested a wolf, but over time, and as she grew more and more familiar with what exactly a wolf /was/, she can see now that there almost certainly wasn't anything Kein /could/ have done. Especially if this had happened when he was younger. "Were you trying to do the right thing then?" she asks. "If you were, then that's the best you could have done." She leans back over and nuzzles her head up under his jaw. "I don't fault you at all."
Kein would not blame her if she were at all upset because of the part he played in Ruut'h's death, but he feels some relief that she isn't. He nuzzles against the top of her head lightly. "Thank you, Nayeli." What for? Well, for not turning away from him, of course. It doesn't do anything to lessen his guilt, not really, but he is thankful that she doesn't hate him for his inability to protect Ruut'h after leading her into danger.
That's one of the awkward questions that Nayeli has, and she's really thankful that they were able to get through it with only minor difficulty. Now, back to a more enjoyable topic. "What kind of land do you want to settle down in? Another mountain, perhaps? Or someplace warmer? Maybe by a river?" There are probably types of terrain that she's never seen or imagined before!
"I don't know. I've never lived anywhere but here and in the desert. I know I /don't/ want to live there again." It wasn't quite as bad when the left, but in the summer, it was intolerably hot, and it was so hard to find food. Maybe as an adult, he'd have an easier time of it, but there definitely wasn't a lot of small prey. "I'm sure we'll find a good place, though. Some place we both like."
"The desert? What's that?" Obviously where they traveled to after leaving here, but Nayeli's never heard the term before. And as far as finding a place they both like, she has no doubt about that at all. As far as she's concerned, as long as she's with Kein, any place would do just fine. Plentiful prey and water would be a bonus. Some snow would be nice as well. In fact, she'd also like a good rock for sunning, if such could be available. And plenty of grass.
"It's hot there, and there are barely any plants, not even grass. The oasis wasn't that bad, but it was the only place with water. I don't know why anyone would choose to live there." There were a few interesting landmarks, but not enough to make it a place he'd want to live. Kein spends a moment thinking about what they passed on the way from the desert back to Amaranth, then says, "Maybe if we don't find anything north of here, we can try towards the west." They'll have time to figure it out."
Nayeli gives a tiny nod that Kein would most likely feel instead of see. "I guess a desert would be a good place to hide since it sounds like nobody would ever want to live there." Certainly not cougars, anyway. What would possess a wolfpack to live out there? Wow. Kein must surely be glad to be out of a land like that. And what /will/ they find to the north? Hopefully not any more of this desert-land; Nayeli would be greatly disappointed if Amaranth was surrounded by terrain like that.
Kein spends a moment in quiet thought, just enjoying being here. Then, he finally succumbs to that little voice, standing slowly. "I have to talk to my mom, Nayeli. I don't think she's going to be happy." She told him he could do whatever he wanted with his life, yes, but after that, he told her he would do his best to lead Amaranth. Hopefully she won't be /too/ upset, but he can't leave speaking to her until tomorrow, as much as he would like to just stay right here and sleep by Nayeli. Besides, he's not sure he even ought to be sleeping in Amaranth.
A slow smile finds it way onto Nayeli's muzzle. She remembers quite well when she used to think Kein's mother was the epitome of scariness. It was never something she could place a claw on, but.. something about her. Not a 'creepy' feeling per se, but just the feeling of being in the presence of someone who could eat you all up within a mere second. The wild imagination of a cub, perhaps. Nayeli finally speaks after several seconds pass, "I.. understand. Are you going to go ahead and say all of your goodbyes as well, or do you want to wait another day or so?" Implied question: are you coming back to me after you finish talking to your mother?
"I'm not saying goodbye yet. There are other things I need to do first." Namely, speak with Yuma, but the last he saw, Yuma had gone off to speak with Chesmu. He'll wait until tomorrow before he tries to find the new chieftain of Amaranth. "Are you sleeping here tonight?" It will take Kein a while to decide whether it's okay for him to stay in Amaranth entirely until he leaves, but if nothing else, he will come back to say goodnight to Nayeli, maybe even lie beside her until she falls asleep, if she wants.
The question catches her somewhat by surprise. "I.. I hadn't decided yet." Her voice is slightly puzzled. Maybe it was just a foolish assumption that she wouldn't have to sleep alone if she were to be with Kein from now on? But of course, they haven't exactly left yet. "I guess I am." Maybe she'll dig a small snowcave or something. Of course, with her luck, it would probably collapse on her.
"I'll come back here before I go to sleep, then." Or maybe he'll decide he doesn't care if Yuma would be upset about him being in the territory, and he'll sleep with Nayeli tonight anyway. Regardless, he lowers his head to nuzzle at her gently. "If you're not here, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Maybe she'll want to go talk to her mother or one of her siblings.
Nayeli smiles, turning her head sideways so she can give a quick lick to Kein's neckfur. "I'll be waiting here for you, promise." If Kein's going to be back tonight, then she can wait on any goodbyes she has. It's not like she's too much of a hurry, either. And with the way things turned out, it might be best for her to let things settle down before she announces her departure to her family members. Especially her father.
Kein smiles as she licks at his neck, then takes a step away and nods in respond to what she says. Before turning away, he says, "I'll be back soon." Then, finally, he turns to begin heading back south, where he last saw his mother. Hopefully she won't have wandered too far away from the well, or he might have a very long evening ahead of him, tracking her down, speaking to her, and then making his way back here.