Post by Therdde on Oct 19, 2008 9:01:33 GMT -5
Characters:
Kein - Male Adolescent Cougar
Nayeli - Female Adolescent Cougar
- Deep Crevice -
Kein has not had a restful night. It's a good thing he managed to sleep through a good part of the day, because his night was spent awake, pacing the cave and sticking his head out every half hour to see if Nayeli had returned, if anyone had seen her. Had it not been for his conviction that his mother would have done whatever it would take to keep him from leaving, he would have left hours ago to try to find her. That conviction didn't save him the strain of walking a fair distance, though, with how long he spent pacing. His leg in burning fiercely, and some of his steps are far from solid. The sun has been up for nearly an hour now, and he's about to leave anyway. The last time he stuck his head out of the cave, his mom was sleeping, and if he can just sneak past Pel and Kasim... Something had to have gone terribly wrong, and it's /his/ fault. /He's/ the one who suggested she try to find her brother.
Nayeli is lacking anything remotely close to a good night's sleep as well. After plenty of tears, plenty of angry words muttered, and plenty of despairing thoughts, Nayeli finally gives up on trying to get any rest. The sun's already up now, anyway. Wondering if she looks as awful as she feels, the girl trudges toward the crevice, nodding a dazed greeting to the adult cougar standing watch. She didn't even notice if it was Maul or Kasim. Nayeli slowly pads inside the cave, head lowered.
Kein's head snaps towards the entrance of the cave when he hears someone enter, and the moment he notices who it is, he turns to face her directly. Were it not for how small this cave is, he would have leapt towards her, but it was hard enough to pace. He doesn't need to ram into a wall accidentally and really hurt himself. He does take a quick step towards her, though. "Nayeli!" There is both relief and worry in his tone. She's here, she's alive... But she doesn't look well. "What happened?!"
Nayeli looks blankly at her friend; it isn't too difficult to tell she's been crying. "My.. father. He's.." How can she possibly put it into words? "..he's changed." She takes a shuddering breath, trying to gather up enough emotional energy to be able to explain this in a somewhat coherent sentence. "I asked him why he hurt you, and... he blamed it on me." That pretty much says it all. After all her own thinking on the matter, trying to reason whether or not she was responsible for Kein's terrible injuries.. and then have her father confirm it like this?
Kein can't help but growl when Nayeli says what she does. There is real, vicious anger in his tone when he replies, immediately, with, "It is /not/ your fault." In a way, that's not true. If she hadn't knocked herself out, he and Chesmu would have probably never confronted each other, that day. It doesn't matter, though. She was pushed into it by the strain Chesmu put on her, and if Kein had a chance, he would tear the former chieftain to shreds for saying that to Nayeli. With that mind-numbing anger back, his fear of Chesmu is gone.
For Nayeli, all she knows is that she did what her father said, and he still attacked Kein regardless. The details of /why/ may never be explained to her, but the fact that her father took no responsibility for what he did... "I still love him though," she says, voice somewhat hollow. "I /have/ to keep loving him as long as he's my father." She doesn't sound quite as convinced as she might have, several days ago.
Kein will never know the kind of love Nayeli has for her father. He can say he would stand by him mother no matter what, but... If his mother attacked Nayeli, and then blamed it on him? She would never do that, he knows, but what if she /did/? "He doesn't deserve your love, Nayeli. He doesn't deserve your tears, or your sorrow." Before he can really comfort Nayeli, he has to find a way to swallow his anger. He know that, but... It's easier said than done. He can't nuzzle her, can't do anything but growl and be angry.
Nayeli knows that her friend will most likely always hate her father, despite whatever she might try and say to lessen his hostility. As hard as that is to accept, she's trying her hardest. "Kein," she says, some life finally coming into her voice. "I also talked to Yuma." Talked, and wrestled, and talked some more, and generally had a good time. She's glad her brother hasn't changed much since receiving the title of 'Chieftain'. Kein might not be falling over himself to show her any affection, but there's nothing to say that she can't. With a small smile, Nayeli steps forward with the intention of rubbing her head up against her friend's chest. "I can come with you, no matter how far you want to go exploring."
Of course she can. Yuma didn't say as much, directly, but... He sort of implied it. There are issues, though... Big issues. Kein is silent for a moment, taking deep breaths. Not all of the anger is gone from his tone when he finally does speak, but he is a little calmer. "I want my family to come with us, Nayeli." There are two big reasons for this, besides the fact that he will miss them. He's afraid that he might not be able to handle everything on his own, yet... And he doesn't want to leave them here, where Chesmu is. He's going to ask them. He just doesn't know how, yet. And if they say no? Will he still leave? And, moreover, how will Nayeli feel if Kein's family comes with them, but hers can't?
Whoa. That was definitely something Nayeli wasn't expecting. It's several seconds before she finds her voice, and even then she sounds like she's struggling for words: "Your.. whole family? Like.. they'd be living with us while we go north?" What would have changed Kein's mind like this? Nayeli tries not to sound too disappointed as she adds, "Umm.. sure! That's.. that's fine." Her smile is entirely forced. It's not that she doesn't like the thought of having his family members for constant company--it's moreso the thought that Kein is losing his confidence in himself. Of course, it might have been the idea of one of his parents, but Nayeli doubts that. Kein's mom seemed pretty set on the idea of just the two of them going off. So why this change, and why now?
Getting wounded like Kein did and being cooped up in a cave for well over a day can do a lot to destroy an animal's self-confidence. He can pretend that's not the case, sometimes, and he has no doubt it will return to him as he finishes his journey to adulthood... But for right now, certain things and ideas scare him, and that he feels he has to hide this fear is wearing on him just as much as the fear itself is. He can tell that Nayeli is not terribly enthusiastic about the idea, and he frowns slightly, finally lying down. It feels good to get off of his leg, but the pain still coursing through it convinces him that he has to ask them to join him. Now if only he could really sell Nayeli on the idea. "We wouldn't have to stay by them all the time." In other words, not like now. They could still have time alone. "I just... I don't want them to stay here, Nayeli. If they even agree to come with us."
If they even agree? Well, that definitely gives an answer to her question, though Nayeli doesn't feel any better knowing it. So Kein is either afraid for the two of them, or he's afraid for the rest of his family. "Kein, we don't need to be afraid anymore." Nayeli tries to sound confident, which isn't the easiest thing as /she's/ still not entirely sure she can trust what she's been told. "My father has agreed to leave the two of us alone, period." Another smile, and this time it's not quite as forced. "He won't bother us if we leave Amaranth."
Yes, because Chesmu has really proven himself to be a cougar of his word. Regardless, though... That still leaves Kein's other worry. "And what will he do to them, when he can no longer get at us?" Sooner or later, they will let their guard down. They can't live the way they have for the past few days indefinitely. Will Chesmu be there to take advantage of that opportunity when it happens, and... Will anyone be able to get word to Kein and Nayeli quickly, if something bad happens? Will he ever see his family alive again, once he leaves?
This is where it becomes difficult. Nayeli knows her father (and brother, for that matter) much better than Kein, but Kein is obviously more concerned about the safety of his family than she is. That's not to say, of course, that she doesn't care about them, but Kein probably tends to think these things through a little more thoroughly than she does. "I don't know," she admits, not sure how else to respond. "I don't believe that he would try to hurt someone else in your family just out of revenge, but... I know you'll never believe that." If she knows Kein as well as she thinks she does, then she'd guess that Kein will simply /refuse/ to believe that, simply based on principle.
In other words, Nayeli really doesn't think there's any reason he should ask his family to join him. She's right in what she says. He'll never believe that. It wouldn't matter if he did, though, because revenge is not the only reason Chesmu might hurt one of his family. Knowing Nayeli is really against this plan, though... Kein lowers his head slowly. There has to be an answer, a way everyone could be happy, or even just not be afraid, but... He can't see it.
It's a conflict between two refusals to believe something. Kein seems to obviously refuse to believe that her father won't end up hurting someone close to him at a point in the future. Nayeli, though she doesn't want to admit it, can't seem to make herself believe that her father really /would/ do such a terrible thing. Especially after he said that she was free to go, and now that she has Yuma's approval too... Regardless, she knows that it's ultimately Kein's decision. He's the leader, and she respects that. She just wants Kein to understand how much she wants to support him as leader, instead of thinking of her as a liability to their safety. It takes her all of three seconds to lie down next to Kein, rubbing her head up against his shoulder. "I'm with you, no matter what."
Kein will never be ready to leave his family. Never. He knew that when his mother first said he could. He knew that well before she said he could, when he thought she was telling him it was time for him to leave. He knew he would have to, though, eventually. Even if they come with him... They won't always be there. They won't live forever. He shouldn't continue relying on them... Especially not under the guise of making sure they're safe. They can take care of themselves, a lot better than he can take care of them. They don't need him, and that, more than anything, /hurts/, because he feels like he still needs them. His chest hurts and he feels out of breath when he says, "Just you and me, then..."
Nayeli sighs at the lack of response, and moves her head to rest on her own forepaws. So much for her comforting affection. "I guess so." What else can she say? That she wants him to be happy, that she loves him, that she wants him to thrive in whatever environment or set of circumstances that they end up living in? That she wants more of the old Kein with his fiery spirit and confidence? But like she told him, she's with him no matter what. Even if it does seem like he's a different cougar.
This will pass. It will take time. He hasn't been away from his family overnight since Ruut'h died, but this will pass, and... He'll be better for it, won't he? When he hears Nayeli sigh, he turns his head to look at her. She's not happy with him, and he can't expect her to be. He hasn't exactly been full of happiness and optimism, these past few days. But... "Just... Give me a little while to get used to the idea again, okay?" He knows he's being difficult. He doesn't /want/ to make this hard on her, though. He doesn't want to give her any reason to change her mind.
"Okay." Nayeli's response is barely above a whisper. She doesn't like it, but there's obviously nothing she can do to change anything. Like Kein said: it'll just take a little while. And besides, he needs a little more time to finish healing physically, right? Probably just another day or two, hopefully.
For the first time since she got back, Kein moves to nuzzle against her. He may be losing his family... But he'll still have her with him. And... It /won't/ be the last time he sees his family. He has to tell himself that, or he could never bring himself to leave. He and Nayeli will be fine. Mom, Pelutho, and Kasim will be fine. And they'll visit. It will be okay.
At first, Nayeli just ignores the nuzzle, as she's tempted to show the same unresponsiveness that Kein was just a moment ago. But she just can't do that--not if she really believes what she told Kein about how she views their relationship. He is her best friend--how can she just ignore him? With a tiny smile, she scoots over just a little, wondering if she can sleep close to him without his moving over toward the wall again like he did last time.
Kein certainly doesn't move immediately. After getting no sleep last night, he probably wouldn't move even if he wanted to, and he definitely doesn't want to. Just feeling her pressed against him improves his mood. How much would he be willing to trade in order to sleep like this every night for the rest of his life? In an attempt to repair what little damage might have been done by the conversation they just has, he says, in a more steady voice than when he agreed for it to just be the two of them, "Maybe it's just as well. I don't think they'd want to explore as much as we want to." Mom and Kasim might have seen it all before, and Pelutho... His brother never turned down exploring with him, but he wasn't always enthusiastic about it.
What's this? Kein, trying to be humorous now? It's so hard to tell since everything he says seems to be so serious. Nayeli lifts her head and turns to look at her friend, eyebrows raising slightly. "And just how much exploring do you plan on doing?" she asks, trying hard to keep a perfectly neutral expression on her face. If it were up to her, she'd love to explore until either the entire world had been discovered or else she grew too old to walk anymore.
"As much as it takes, until we find the perfect place." When Kein was a cub, he wanted to do as much exploring as Nayeli apparently wants to do now. He wanted to walk until he found the end, until he knew for certain how big the world was. Where the walls were. Now, it's a different story, but he is still looking forward to seeing new areas, to learning about what else is out there.
Nayeli gives a long, drawn-out "Ohhhhhhh." Hmph. "So you just want to stop exploring when we find that perfect place and get all boring on me?" That's too much, and she finally cracks a grin. Yes, perhaps she is going a little over-the-top, but she hates seeing Kein so serious to the point of near-depression. Anything she can do to try and help, even a roll-your-eyes attempt at humor, she'll do.
Boring? No. He has had enough boring, with lying in this cave, to last the rest of his life. Relaxed, though? He could take a little bit of relaxed time. With a small smile in response to her grin, he says, "Why would you give up perfection? That's why you're my friend, after all." The light-heartedness is still feigned, but it is feigned well. Even he almost believes it. There is that gnawing at the back of his mind, telling him they've got more trials before this is all over, but for now, he can ignore it.
Okay. His humor is just as pathetic as hers. But honestly, Nayeli really doesn't care right now. She just gives him a soft laugh and nudge, appreciating his attempt to at least stop being so serious for however long it took to ask the question. Hmm. Maybe it's her turn to be serious now. "You aren't perfect, Kein. But that's a good thing for me, because if you /were/, you certainly wouldn't want me around." Why would he? Nayeli has plenty of her own faults, so it only seems reasonable that a less-than-perfect Kein could even stand to be lying next to her.
Kein shakes his head. No, he /isn't/ perfect. Far from it. He would never imply that he is, even in jest... Especially since he now has bits of his flesh missing. This misunderstanding brings a grin to his face, though, and he nudges her with his nose before saying, "I'm not the one I was referring to when I mentioned perfection, Nayeli." She asked him why she is his friend, not one of her sisters. He just gave her another answer. Okay, so maybe she's a little neurotic sometimes, and sometimes her expectations may seem a little high, but that is nothing compared to Kein's faults. She is more forgiving than he could ever be. She's prettier than anyone else he has ever seen. And she has almost always done her best to make him happy. How much closer to perfection could she possibly be?
Nayeli blushes a little, realizing instantly who Kein's referring to. "You know plenty well that I'm not perfect. That whole.. incident.. never would have happened if I was." She certainly wouldn't have laughed, even in misguided jest. Her tail twitches slightly, awkwardly. It's not the easiest thing to do, deliberately putting yourself down while snuggled up against your best friend.
Kein leans his head against Nayeli and says, softly, "I know no such thing." Of course, he exaggerates, but the point of what he is saying is all that's important. "You're perfect for me." There is no concern that she might not feel the same way about him. There isn't even any expectation that she should. While the subject is not entirely without seriousness, he is just having fun with it. If she were to get exasperated and nip at his (uninjured) leg, he would enjoy it every bit as much as if she returned his sentiments in all earnestness.
Perfect for him. Nayeli hadn't thought of it in those terms, but she supposes that it makes sense. "Only because we're both imperfect?" Her smile turns somewhat shy. "Perfect for each other because we're both imperfect." Finally she just laughs. "That sounds so crazy! But.. it's true, I guess." However, that means that either of her sisters would be 'perfect' for Kein as well since they're certainly imperfect. There has to be more here that makes the two of them /really/ perfect for each other. But... what?
No, not just because they're imperfect. Rather... Because their imperfections match up pretty well. That has to be a good part of it. Regardless, Kein doesn't want to think about it that deeply. What does it matter why? They are perfect for one another. Why makes no difference. With a deep breath, he nuzzles against her cheek lightly. "Of course it's true." If it weren't... Well, if it weren't, he'd probably be having a much rougher time with everything that has happened.
Whether he's agreeing with her because he really believes it's true or just because he wants to agree for the sake of harmony in their relationship.. it doesn't matter to Nayeli. She's just happy that they aren't arguing over something or having to wade through a difficult and awkward conversation. It'll probably happen again in the future, but that point is not now, and as such, she doesn't dwell on it. It's much more fun to simply relax and enjoy the affection that Kein is giving her.
Kein closes his eyes as he nuzzles against her. His long night is really wearing on him, and after a short while of comfortable silence, he asks, "You don't mind if I sleep for a little while, do you?" When he says a little while, he means hours, and when she asks if she minds, he's really hoping that she'll sleep with him, or at least lie by him while he sleeps.
"Of course I don't mind... I'm about ready to fall asleep myself." Nayeli just hopes her sleep isn't as restless as last night's lack of sleep. She smiles, though her smile is almost immediately turned into as wide a yawn as her mouth can open. Fangs fully displayed.. tongue curling.. eyes closing.. the whole thing. And once the yawn is finished, she rests her head down on her paws, remaining as close to Kein as she can manage. /She/ certainly doesn't have any intention of moving away, and can only hope that her friend doesn't either.
Kein lowers his head almost as soon as she does. If he does move, it won't be while he is awake. It doesn't take him long, after lowering his head, to drift off to sleep. His sleep all day the previous day had been restless. He didn't get any sleep at all last night. Short of someone yelling near him or nudging him forcefully, he probably won't be awake for several hours.
Kein - Male Adolescent Cougar
Nayeli - Female Adolescent Cougar
- Deep Crevice -
Kein has not had a restful night. It's a good thing he managed to sleep through a good part of the day, because his night was spent awake, pacing the cave and sticking his head out every half hour to see if Nayeli had returned, if anyone had seen her. Had it not been for his conviction that his mother would have done whatever it would take to keep him from leaving, he would have left hours ago to try to find her. That conviction didn't save him the strain of walking a fair distance, though, with how long he spent pacing. His leg in burning fiercely, and some of his steps are far from solid. The sun has been up for nearly an hour now, and he's about to leave anyway. The last time he stuck his head out of the cave, his mom was sleeping, and if he can just sneak past Pel and Kasim... Something had to have gone terribly wrong, and it's /his/ fault. /He's/ the one who suggested she try to find her brother.
Nayeli is lacking anything remotely close to a good night's sleep as well. After plenty of tears, plenty of angry words muttered, and plenty of despairing thoughts, Nayeli finally gives up on trying to get any rest. The sun's already up now, anyway. Wondering if she looks as awful as she feels, the girl trudges toward the crevice, nodding a dazed greeting to the adult cougar standing watch. She didn't even notice if it was Maul or Kasim. Nayeli slowly pads inside the cave, head lowered.
Kein's head snaps towards the entrance of the cave when he hears someone enter, and the moment he notices who it is, he turns to face her directly. Were it not for how small this cave is, he would have leapt towards her, but it was hard enough to pace. He doesn't need to ram into a wall accidentally and really hurt himself. He does take a quick step towards her, though. "Nayeli!" There is both relief and worry in his tone. She's here, she's alive... But she doesn't look well. "What happened?!"
Nayeli looks blankly at her friend; it isn't too difficult to tell she's been crying. "My.. father. He's.." How can she possibly put it into words? "..he's changed." She takes a shuddering breath, trying to gather up enough emotional energy to be able to explain this in a somewhat coherent sentence. "I asked him why he hurt you, and... he blamed it on me." That pretty much says it all. After all her own thinking on the matter, trying to reason whether or not she was responsible for Kein's terrible injuries.. and then have her father confirm it like this?
Kein can't help but growl when Nayeli says what she does. There is real, vicious anger in his tone when he replies, immediately, with, "It is /not/ your fault." In a way, that's not true. If she hadn't knocked herself out, he and Chesmu would have probably never confronted each other, that day. It doesn't matter, though. She was pushed into it by the strain Chesmu put on her, and if Kein had a chance, he would tear the former chieftain to shreds for saying that to Nayeli. With that mind-numbing anger back, his fear of Chesmu is gone.
For Nayeli, all she knows is that she did what her father said, and he still attacked Kein regardless. The details of /why/ may never be explained to her, but the fact that her father took no responsibility for what he did... "I still love him though," she says, voice somewhat hollow. "I /have/ to keep loving him as long as he's my father." She doesn't sound quite as convinced as she might have, several days ago.
Kein will never know the kind of love Nayeli has for her father. He can say he would stand by him mother no matter what, but... If his mother attacked Nayeli, and then blamed it on him? She would never do that, he knows, but what if she /did/? "He doesn't deserve your love, Nayeli. He doesn't deserve your tears, or your sorrow." Before he can really comfort Nayeli, he has to find a way to swallow his anger. He know that, but... It's easier said than done. He can't nuzzle her, can't do anything but growl and be angry.
Nayeli knows that her friend will most likely always hate her father, despite whatever she might try and say to lessen his hostility. As hard as that is to accept, she's trying her hardest. "Kein," she says, some life finally coming into her voice. "I also talked to Yuma." Talked, and wrestled, and talked some more, and generally had a good time. She's glad her brother hasn't changed much since receiving the title of 'Chieftain'. Kein might not be falling over himself to show her any affection, but there's nothing to say that she can't. With a small smile, Nayeli steps forward with the intention of rubbing her head up against her friend's chest. "I can come with you, no matter how far you want to go exploring."
Of course she can. Yuma didn't say as much, directly, but... He sort of implied it. There are issues, though... Big issues. Kein is silent for a moment, taking deep breaths. Not all of the anger is gone from his tone when he finally does speak, but he is a little calmer. "I want my family to come with us, Nayeli." There are two big reasons for this, besides the fact that he will miss them. He's afraid that he might not be able to handle everything on his own, yet... And he doesn't want to leave them here, where Chesmu is. He's going to ask them. He just doesn't know how, yet. And if they say no? Will he still leave? And, moreover, how will Nayeli feel if Kein's family comes with them, but hers can't?
Whoa. That was definitely something Nayeli wasn't expecting. It's several seconds before she finds her voice, and even then she sounds like she's struggling for words: "Your.. whole family? Like.. they'd be living with us while we go north?" What would have changed Kein's mind like this? Nayeli tries not to sound too disappointed as she adds, "Umm.. sure! That's.. that's fine." Her smile is entirely forced. It's not that she doesn't like the thought of having his family members for constant company--it's moreso the thought that Kein is losing his confidence in himself. Of course, it might have been the idea of one of his parents, but Nayeli doubts that. Kein's mom seemed pretty set on the idea of just the two of them going off. So why this change, and why now?
Getting wounded like Kein did and being cooped up in a cave for well over a day can do a lot to destroy an animal's self-confidence. He can pretend that's not the case, sometimes, and he has no doubt it will return to him as he finishes his journey to adulthood... But for right now, certain things and ideas scare him, and that he feels he has to hide this fear is wearing on him just as much as the fear itself is. He can tell that Nayeli is not terribly enthusiastic about the idea, and he frowns slightly, finally lying down. It feels good to get off of his leg, but the pain still coursing through it convinces him that he has to ask them to join him. Now if only he could really sell Nayeli on the idea. "We wouldn't have to stay by them all the time." In other words, not like now. They could still have time alone. "I just... I don't want them to stay here, Nayeli. If they even agree to come with us."
If they even agree? Well, that definitely gives an answer to her question, though Nayeli doesn't feel any better knowing it. So Kein is either afraid for the two of them, or he's afraid for the rest of his family. "Kein, we don't need to be afraid anymore." Nayeli tries to sound confident, which isn't the easiest thing as /she's/ still not entirely sure she can trust what she's been told. "My father has agreed to leave the two of us alone, period." Another smile, and this time it's not quite as forced. "He won't bother us if we leave Amaranth."
Yes, because Chesmu has really proven himself to be a cougar of his word. Regardless, though... That still leaves Kein's other worry. "And what will he do to them, when he can no longer get at us?" Sooner or later, they will let their guard down. They can't live the way they have for the past few days indefinitely. Will Chesmu be there to take advantage of that opportunity when it happens, and... Will anyone be able to get word to Kein and Nayeli quickly, if something bad happens? Will he ever see his family alive again, once he leaves?
This is where it becomes difficult. Nayeli knows her father (and brother, for that matter) much better than Kein, but Kein is obviously more concerned about the safety of his family than she is. That's not to say, of course, that she doesn't care about them, but Kein probably tends to think these things through a little more thoroughly than she does. "I don't know," she admits, not sure how else to respond. "I don't believe that he would try to hurt someone else in your family just out of revenge, but... I know you'll never believe that." If she knows Kein as well as she thinks she does, then she'd guess that Kein will simply /refuse/ to believe that, simply based on principle.
In other words, Nayeli really doesn't think there's any reason he should ask his family to join him. She's right in what she says. He'll never believe that. It wouldn't matter if he did, though, because revenge is not the only reason Chesmu might hurt one of his family. Knowing Nayeli is really against this plan, though... Kein lowers his head slowly. There has to be an answer, a way everyone could be happy, or even just not be afraid, but... He can't see it.
It's a conflict between two refusals to believe something. Kein seems to obviously refuse to believe that her father won't end up hurting someone close to him at a point in the future. Nayeli, though she doesn't want to admit it, can't seem to make herself believe that her father really /would/ do such a terrible thing. Especially after he said that she was free to go, and now that she has Yuma's approval too... Regardless, she knows that it's ultimately Kein's decision. He's the leader, and she respects that. She just wants Kein to understand how much she wants to support him as leader, instead of thinking of her as a liability to their safety. It takes her all of three seconds to lie down next to Kein, rubbing her head up against his shoulder. "I'm with you, no matter what."
Kein will never be ready to leave his family. Never. He knew that when his mother first said he could. He knew that well before she said he could, when he thought she was telling him it was time for him to leave. He knew he would have to, though, eventually. Even if they come with him... They won't always be there. They won't live forever. He shouldn't continue relying on them... Especially not under the guise of making sure they're safe. They can take care of themselves, a lot better than he can take care of them. They don't need him, and that, more than anything, /hurts/, because he feels like he still needs them. His chest hurts and he feels out of breath when he says, "Just you and me, then..."
Nayeli sighs at the lack of response, and moves her head to rest on her own forepaws. So much for her comforting affection. "I guess so." What else can she say? That she wants him to be happy, that she loves him, that she wants him to thrive in whatever environment or set of circumstances that they end up living in? That she wants more of the old Kein with his fiery spirit and confidence? But like she told him, she's with him no matter what. Even if it does seem like he's a different cougar.
This will pass. It will take time. He hasn't been away from his family overnight since Ruut'h died, but this will pass, and... He'll be better for it, won't he? When he hears Nayeli sigh, he turns his head to look at her. She's not happy with him, and he can't expect her to be. He hasn't exactly been full of happiness and optimism, these past few days. But... "Just... Give me a little while to get used to the idea again, okay?" He knows he's being difficult. He doesn't /want/ to make this hard on her, though. He doesn't want to give her any reason to change her mind.
"Okay." Nayeli's response is barely above a whisper. She doesn't like it, but there's obviously nothing she can do to change anything. Like Kein said: it'll just take a little while. And besides, he needs a little more time to finish healing physically, right? Probably just another day or two, hopefully.
For the first time since she got back, Kein moves to nuzzle against her. He may be losing his family... But he'll still have her with him. And... It /won't/ be the last time he sees his family. He has to tell himself that, or he could never bring himself to leave. He and Nayeli will be fine. Mom, Pelutho, and Kasim will be fine. And they'll visit. It will be okay.
At first, Nayeli just ignores the nuzzle, as she's tempted to show the same unresponsiveness that Kein was just a moment ago. But she just can't do that--not if she really believes what she told Kein about how she views their relationship. He is her best friend--how can she just ignore him? With a tiny smile, she scoots over just a little, wondering if she can sleep close to him without his moving over toward the wall again like he did last time.
Kein certainly doesn't move immediately. After getting no sleep last night, he probably wouldn't move even if he wanted to, and he definitely doesn't want to. Just feeling her pressed against him improves his mood. How much would he be willing to trade in order to sleep like this every night for the rest of his life? In an attempt to repair what little damage might have been done by the conversation they just has, he says, in a more steady voice than when he agreed for it to just be the two of them, "Maybe it's just as well. I don't think they'd want to explore as much as we want to." Mom and Kasim might have seen it all before, and Pelutho... His brother never turned down exploring with him, but he wasn't always enthusiastic about it.
What's this? Kein, trying to be humorous now? It's so hard to tell since everything he says seems to be so serious. Nayeli lifts her head and turns to look at her friend, eyebrows raising slightly. "And just how much exploring do you plan on doing?" she asks, trying hard to keep a perfectly neutral expression on her face. If it were up to her, she'd love to explore until either the entire world had been discovered or else she grew too old to walk anymore.
"As much as it takes, until we find the perfect place." When Kein was a cub, he wanted to do as much exploring as Nayeli apparently wants to do now. He wanted to walk until he found the end, until he knew for certain how big the world was. Where the walls were. Now, it's a different story, but he is still looking forward to seeing new areas, to learning about what else is out there.
Nayeli gives a long, drawn-out "Ohhhhhhh." Hmph. "So you just want to stop exploring when we find that perfect place and get all boring on me?" That's too much, and she finally cracks a grin. Yes, perhaps she is going a little over-the-top, but she hates seeing Kein so serious to the point of near-depression. Anything she can do to try and help, even a roll-your-eyes attempt at humor, she'll do.
Boring? No. He has had enough boring, with lying in this cave, to last the rest of his life. Relaxed, though? He could take a little bit of relaxed time. With a small smile in response to her grin, he says, "Why would you give up perfection? That's why you're my friend, after all." The light-heartedness is still feigned, but it is feigned well. Even he almost believes it. There is that gnawing at the back of his mind, telling him they've got more trials before this is all over, but for now, he can ignore it.
Okay. His humor is just as pathetic as hers. But honestly, Nayeli really doesn't care right now. She just gives him a soft laugh and nudge, appreciating his attempt to at least stop being so serious for however long it took to ask the question. Hmm. Maybe it's her turn to be serious now. "You aren't perfect, Kein. But that's a good thing for me, because if you /were/, you certainly wouldn't want me around." Why would he? Nayeli has plenty of her own faults, so it only seems reasonable that a less-than-perfect Kein could even stand to be lying next to her.
Kein shakes his head. No, he /isn't/ perfect. Far from it. He would never imply that he is, even in jest... Especially since he now has bits of his flesh missing. This misunderstanding brings a grin to his face, though, and he nudges her with his nose before saying, "I'm not the one I was referring to when I mentioned perfection, Nayeli." She asked him why she is his friend, not one of her sisters. He just gave her another answer. Okay, so maybe she's a little neurotic sometimes, and sometimes her expectations may seem a little high, but that is nothing compared to Kein's faults. She is more forgiving than he could ever be. She's prettier than anyone else he has ever seen. And she has almost always done her best to make him happy. How much closer to perfection could she possibly be?
Nayeli blushes a little, realizing instantly who Kein's referring to. "You know plenty well that I'm not perfect. That whole.. incident.. never would have happened if I was." She certainly wouldn't have laughed, even in misguided jest. Her tail twitches slightly, awkwardly. It's not the easiest thing to do, deliberately putting yourself down while snuggled up against your best friend.
Kein leans his head against Nayeli and says, softly, "I know no such thing." Of course, he exaggerates, but the point of what he is saying is all that's important. "You're perfect for me." There is no concern that she might not feel the same way about him. There isn't even any expectation that she should. While the subject is not entirely without seriousness, he is just having fun with it. If she were to get exasperated and nip at his (uninjured) leg, he would enjoy it every bit as much as if she returned his sentiments in all earnestness.
Perfect for him. Nayeli hadn't thought of it in those terms, but she supposes that it makes sense. "Only because we're both imperfect?" Her smile turns somewhat shy. "Perfect for each other because we're both imperfect." Finally she just laughs. "That sounds so crazy! But.. it's true, I guess." However, that means that either of her sisters would be 'perfect' for Kein as well since they're certainly imperfect. There has to be more here that makes the two of them /really/ perfect for each other. But... what?
No, not just because they're imperfect. Rather... Because their imperfections match up pretty well. That has to be a good part of it. Regardless, Kein doesn't want to think about it that deeply. What does it matter why? They are perfect for one another. Why makes no difference. With a deep breath, he nuzzles against her cheek lightly. "Of course it's true." If it weren't... Well, if it weren't, he'd probably be having a much rougher time with everything that has happened.
Whether he's agreeing with her because he really believes it's true or just because he wants to agree for the sake of harmony in their relationship.. it doesn't matter to Nayeli. She's just happy that they aren't arguing over something or having to wade through a difficult and awkward conversation. It'll probably happen again in the future, but that point is not now, and as such, she doesn't dwell on it. It's much more fun to simply relax and enjoy the affection that Kein is giving her.
Kein closes his eyes as he nuzzles against her. His long night is really wearing on him, and after a short while of comfortable silence, he asks, "You don't mind if I sleep for a little while, do you?" When he says a little while, he means hours, and when she asks if she minds, he's really hoping that she'll sleep with him, or at least lie by him while he sleeps.
"Of course I don't mind... I'm about ready to fall asleep myself." Nayeli just hopes her sleep isn't as restless as last night's lack of sleep. She smiles, though her smile is almost immediately turned into as wide a yawn as her mouth can open. Fangs fully displayed.. tongue curling.. eyes closing.. the whole thing. And once the yawn is finished, she rests her head down on her paws, remaining as close to Kein as she can manage. /She/ certainly doesn't have any intention of moving away, and can only hope that her friend doesn't either.
Kein lowers his head almost as soon as she does. If he does move, it won't be while he is awake. It doesn't take him long, after lowering his head, to drift off to sleep. His sleep all day the previous day had been restless. He didn't get any sleep at all last night. Short of someone yelling near him or nudging him forcefully, he probably won't be awake for several hours.