Post by tanniyn on Nov 5, 2008 1:23:27 GMT -5
Characters:
Kein - adolescent male cougaress (Amaranth)
Nayeli - adolescent female cougaress (Amaranth)
Setting:
Rocky Formations (Amaranth)
Scene:
Kein is not sure how much time has passed. He has slept often since leaving the jagged cliffs, but his sleep has been restless, troubled. Sleep never lasts more than a few minutes, but sometimes the dreams he has while he's sleeping for those few minutes seem to take hours, so for all he knows, many days could have passed. Except that he doesn't feel particularly thirsty or hungry, so probably not that long. What he does feel is drained. He has thought about getting up to find someone a couple times, but he just hasn't. He hasn't left Amaranth yet either, even though there are times when he's not sure why he's staying. His waking hours have been filled with alternating anger and sorrow. It would have to be better if he were in a place that didn't have so many painful memories, wouldn't it? But still, he hasn't moved, curled up near the middle of the clearing inside the stones. Not hiding, but definitely not advertising his whereabouts.
She's not entirely sure how, but Paoro's words.. her 'commission' of sorts.. somehow seemed to energize her past the sorrowful apathy that had kept her in the wildflowers. Nayeli has been looking for Kein for a few hours now, with Paoro's words for him stuck in her head. Potential chieftain. It's a very strange and thrilling thought to realize that it's /her/ choice to choose a Chieftain. It's not so much whether or not Kein will accept. It's the realization that she could choose anyone. And now as the sun is setting, Nayeli is arriving at the stone formations, looking at the long shadows cast and wondering why Kein would be here. She's searching Amaranth bit-by-bit, but doubts that her friend will be here. Regardless, however, she's going to be thorough in her search.
Kein is awake now, but it might be hard to tell from any distance. His head is down on the ground, and he's just looking a few feet in front of him. He's not really seeing the ground, either. He's not seeing much of anything, thugh his eyes are open, as he is fully engrossed in his thoughts, even as formless as they are right now. He can hear someone approaching, but the sounds are slow to intrude upon his consciousness, so he doesn't move.
And it's with a lot of surprise that Nayeli sees the other adolescent up ahead. This wasn't where she was expecting to find him... and yet he's here. She feels her spirits sink at noticing how devastated he looks. Yes, she's still grieving as well, but she's also had encouragement given to her by the shamaness. Purpose and future will go a long way toward helping one overcome sorrow. That's one thing Nayeli is hoping that Kein will experience as well. She lowers her head as she continues padding toward him. If he doesn't speak, then she won't either; her intentions now are just to make him aware of her presence as she moves to lie down against him.
Even once Kein becomes aware that another cougar is approaching him, he doesn't really know who or why. If someone loyal to Chesmu were to attack him right now, he would be caught entirely off-guard, and the chances he'd fare well are very slim. With this in mind, it isn't until Nayeli actually touches him when she lies down that Kein moves, and then his head snaps up suddenly to look at her. Before he can grow tense, though, he recognizes who it is, as much by her scent as by the the sight of her, and though he continues to look at her, the rest of his body seems weak. Nayeli. A large part of him had expected never to see her again. The reasons for that are numerous, but the fact that she is /here/, and actually touching him, gives him more hope than anything has since they encountered his mother's body. Not everything is lost. Most things, perhaps, but not everything. He wishes he could purr or even just speak to let her know he wants her there, after his sudden movement, but he /can't/, and after a moment, he just tries to press his head against her shoulder, fighting against the tears that sprung up the moment he saw her.
Nayeli is feeling tears welling up as well, due mostly to just seeing Kein so depressed as well as his reaction to seeing her. As her friend presses against her shoulder, she tilts her head down to rub against the top of his head. "You're all I have left, Kein," she whispers into his ear. Yes, she still has her grandmother and siblings, but.. she doesn't share the close bond with them that she has with Kein. And yet, Kein isn't /family/, but.. he's still close, nonetheless. Her best friend. She would have come to find him even if Paoro had never said a word to her about Matrons and Chieftains and all of that.
It takes Kein a moment to feel like he has a modicum of control over himself, but he hears when Nayeli says. All of his fears that she might never want him near her again are removed, and he is relieved. That helps him to keep himself from crying and to find his voice again, though it is rough when he finally speaks, and muffled by the fact that he barely moves his head at all. "I'm so sorry, Nayeli." For /her/ loss. For the role his family played in it. For leading her to witness her father's execution.
Nayeli smiles through her tears, rocking very slightly back and forth against her friend. "So am I," she whispers. For everything. Kein's mother was raped and murdered by her father. That's a heavy weight that she's going to have to carry for the rest of her life. Her own parents are dead, but it's not as though /Maulisho/ was responsible for killing them. She's going to miss them terribly, but in one sense, it's a relieved sense of closure in the case of her father. If he had lost his mind enough to do this much damage, then surely he's in a better state right now. No more madness to ruin his mind and his life. Or anyone else's lives, for that matter.
Kein has nothing else to say, right now. What else matters? He has lost his direction, he doesn't know what to do, but Nayeli is back. That's what matters, right now, and he is content to just lie by her, to breath in her scent and know that what has happened between their parents has not ruined their relationship. That, eventually, they will be able to move on from this, even if it isn't right now.
This is going to be difficult: trying to figure out when the best time to talk to Kein about the future leadership of Amaranth. Paoro didn't really come right out and say that their decision was urgent, but it doesn't take an enormous amount of intelligence to realize that the tribe needs someone to pull Amaranth out of its current state of shock and despair. Perhaps they should wait until tomorrow? Nayeli wonders if Paoro would mind them holding off on discussing this... or maybe it'll be easier to determine when a simple question. "Are you.. going to be okay?" she asks hesitantly, voice still barely a whisper in Kein's ear.
Even after what Chesmu did to him, he was capable of pretending that he could recover from anything with little effort. This, though... It takes him a moment to answer. He still feels overwhelming despair when he thinks of his mother, of everything, but... Ever since Nayeli arrived, has has been able to put that out of his mind. It has only been a few minutes, but it's something, right? One small step to the time when he will, eventually, be okay. Slowly, he pulls his head away from her, then nods. It might not be right now, or even within the foreseeable future, but he will be okay.
And as her eyes meet those of her friend, Nayeli sees enough strength in them to know that now is the time. There is grief, as would be expected, but she knows that it's not the paralyzing grief that would require this talk to be postponed. She gently presses her nose against Kein's, and murmurs softly, "Paoro talked to me earlier this morning." There's a lot that can be inferred from that statement. Paoro /talked/ to her.. not just encouraged.
Kein has entirely forgotten about the reason why Paoro summoned them here. For all he knows, his mother /was/ the reason. He has had neither the time nor the mental capacity to realize that the two events were unrelated. Something in the way Nayeli says what she does, though, tells Kein that this was not some normal talk, and he takes a deep breath, not certain he wants to know what Paoro and Nayeli talked about. Granted, nothing in Nayeli's tone suggests that whatever they talked about was bad, but Kein still feels a little reluctance about continuing this doubtlessly serious conversation, reluctance that he tries hard to keep out of his tone when he speaks. "About...?" His voice will probably be hoarse for a few more days, but it does not sound absolutely horrible. Just a little rougher than usual.
"Amaranth needs us," Nayeli begins, trying to inject confidence into her voice. It's not easy; if anything, her voice is nearly as rough as Kein's. She's spent many hours crying over what has happened. She's anticipating spending many more hours crying as well. There's just no easy way to deal with the sudden death of both parents, especially when one killed the other and then is executed right before her eyes. But she knows that her words to Kein are true for both of them. Paoro wouldn't have spoken to her so soon after the tragedy if it weren't important. "Paoro told me that.. the spirits have told her that Yuma is not to remain as Chieftain. She said that.. I'm supposed to be the new Matron." It still seems so odd to hear herself saying that. Her as Matron.
This was not what Kein expected. He didn't really expect anything, but /this/... Of course, now that it has been said, he realizes he probably should have expected it. With everything that Chesmu said, implying that Kein would soon be Cheiftain... If the reason Paoro summoned them back was to ask Nayeli to be Matron... Well, he and Nayeli had gone off together to form their own territory, so of course it makes sense that everyone in Amaranth would have assumed he'd be Nayeli's choice as Cheiftain. He is, isn't he? She did say that Amaranth needs /them/, not just her. Despite everything that Chesmu said, though, Kein hadn't even begun to think about it, to recognize it as a possibility. He would have thought, after he gave up the last opportunity what seems like a lifetime ago, even if it has only been days, and left the territory, that it would never come again, but... Here it is, and Kein has to wonder about much, not least of which is Nayeli's statement that the spirits told Paoro that Nayeli was to be Matron. If that's true, and this is what they're /meant/ to do... Then was it what he was supposed to do last time? The thought isn't comforting, because if being Chieftain is his fate... Then who is to say that some part of what happened to his mother, some part of the reason why Chesmu murdered her, isn't because the spirits decided to punish him for failing to do what was expected of him in the first place? If that's true... Then the punishment will last the rest of his life. He will never stop missing his mother... And he will never stop blaming himself for her death. /If/ it's true. Though he is far from being the most spiritually active cougar, he will have to spend a lot of time in the future thinking and praying about this. Assuming it's true, though... Regardless of what he feels, would he dare try to fight against becoming Chieftain now? If it is true, and he does try to resist it... Would another one of the cougars he cares about meet a similar end as his mother? He can't let that happen, but the hardest truth about it is, it's not his choice. It's Nayeli's, and while he would like to believe, from her tone and words, that she would accept the position... He has to know for certain. He takes a deep breath before finally trying to speak, but it catches in his throat, forcing him to release it and take a shallower breath before asking, a little more weakly than he would like, "Do you believe her? Are... Are you going to be Matron?"
Is she going to be Matron? That's the single most important decision she'll ever have to make, isn't it? Of course, one might question whether or not her decision of who to ask to be her Chieftain is equally as profound, but to Nayeli, it's hardly a decision at all. There is no other cougar she'd even remotely consider, other than Kein. The decision will have to be his--whether or not to accept her request. And this, of course, is assuming whether or not she'll decide to be Matron in the first place. There are so many reasons why she could say no. Her own weaknesses. The fact that she's had no training or preparation. How is she supposed to lead as Matron when she doesn't even know /how/? It's one thing to grow up as the daughter of a Matron.. but with everyone fully expecting Misae to take over for Ayashe, how was Nayeli supposed to know she should prepare for such a position? Another reason: her own brother is the current Chieftain. Would he step down? /Should/ he step down? Yes, Nayeli understands the importance of the female line, but.. can't there be exceptions? Nevertheless, the girl knows that it ultimately is beyond her control. There is only one reason for her to say yes, and that is because her grandmother, the former Matron and now shamaness, said that she believed that Nayeli could do this. That she was strong enough, that the spirits were behind this, and that Paoro was confident that she was the right cougaress to lead them. If for no other reason than that, Nayeli has decided that she /is/ going to continue the family tradition. The legacy, as it were. "Yes, I am," she answers simply. "But.. I can't do it alone." She takes a deep breath, feeling a thrill at what she's about to ask. "I.. I /need/ you. As my.. Chieftain." That one implied question, for Nayeli, defines their relationship and friendship more than anything else she could ever say or do.
Even if it weren't for his current thoughts, Kein would do anything to support Nayeli. If he had no suspicions there there might be serious consequences if he were to turn her down, he would still never do it. Because of that suspicion, though, he is deeply relieved when she says what she does, and it shows. It allows him to push those thoughts out of his head, to be dealt with later, and he leans his head against her before he answers, "I will always be here for you, Nayeli." For /her/. That is why he is doing this... But he has no delusions about what all this will entail. "For you, and for the tribe." Because, since they are going to do this... The tribe will have to be their main concern from now on, and he wants her to know that he knows that, that despite everything he said the day they confronted Chesmu, he would not do anything to harm, or even to neglect, Amaranth.
He didn't exactly answer her question. But then again, she didn't exactly /ask/ her question. His reassurance of him always being here could very easily be said and meant without any thought, desire, or agreement to be the new Amaranth Chieftain. Nayeli sighs inwardly; she really didn't want to have to ask this as directly as it seems she'll need to. It's going to be awkward, for sure, and there's always the possibility that he'll say no. But.. it needs to be done. "The tribe needs a strong Chieftain, and one who can.." She feels herself flushing slightly. "..keep the bloodline strong through the Matron." Okay, so maybe she /did/ learn something from listening to Misae's lessons about Amaranth heritage. "Would you.. be that Chieftain?" She takes a deep breath. "/My/ Chieftain?"
Kein meant what he said as acceptance of that position, and so he is slightly confused when she openly asks. Confused or not, though, he does not take long to answer, does not want to give her any time to worry about whether he'll say yes. "Of course I will." How could she ever doubt that he would, after all they've been through together? After speaking, he nuzzles against her, almost forcefully.
And once again, Nayeli is crying. But this time it's not sorrow over what's happened. It's not over the rejection she was afraid might happen. Her tears accompany a smile, and this because she's happy. She feels herself going somewhat limp, though perhaps pressing back against her friend's nuzzling. "I'm scared," she whispers, feeling as though she's echoing what she told Paoro earlier. It's all so new and frightening and overwhelming, but she's going to trust Paoro's judgment on this. Not to mention, of course, that her being scared is yet another reason for why she needs Kein more than ever. Someone to give her confidence and support and protection.
She might be scared, but for the first time since he told himself, last night, that the worst is over, Kein actually believes it. The road ahead of them will have plenty of challenges, and it probably won't be easy, but they will be okay, and it will get easier. He nudges her with his nose as he finishes nuzzling her and says, simply, "Everything will work out. I promise." He is saying it to try to reassure her, yes, but he honestly means it, too.
Everything /will/ work out. As has happened before, Nayeli finds herself gaining confidence from Kein's words. She's not even sure what it is--his tone, perhaps?--but regardless, she feels much more encouraged. "I know," she replies, nosing back at him. They'll have a difficult future ahead of them, no doubt, but she knows that together, they'll manage to succeed. They have to, don't they? Leaders of Amaranth... they don't really have any choice now. They /have/ to succeed.
Despite everything Kein knows they will be facing, with the relief he feels and the new feeling that things will get better, exhaustion /really/ hits him. Hopefully this time, he can sleep for more than just a couple minutes, and his sleep won't be plagued by nightmares. His head drops slightly, then he forces himself to lift it. "You'll sleep here tonight, right?" He doesn't expect her to say no. It's more to tell her that he is realizing he won't be able to stay awake much longer.
"Unless you don't want me to, I'm /always/ going to sleep by your side." This time, her smile doesn't have any tears with it. Only genuine happiness at being able to say that. She scoots a little closer, to where she's able to rest her head down not only on her own forepaws, but against one of Kein's, too. If it had been a perfect day, which it certainly hadn't been, she might even be purring now. But with all the emotional stress and trauma, it might be a while yet before any purring ever happens again. It's a bittersweet happiness now, at best. They're only taking over leadership because three parents were brutally killed.
Kein lays his head back down. Like Nayeli, he would be unable to bring himself to purr, but he does feel better than he has since they returned, and it is only moments before he drifts off into a deep sleep, aided by how little he has actually slept in the past day and how worn all of the emotional trauma has left him.
Kein - adolescent male cougaress (Amaranth)
Nayeli - adolescent female cougaress (Amaranth)
Setting:
Rocky Formations (Amaranth)
Scene:
Kein is not sure how much time has passed. He has slept often since leaving the jagged cliffs, but his sleep has been restless, troubled. Sleep never lasts more than a few minutes, but sometimes the dreams he has while he's sleeping for those few minutes seem to take hours, so for all he knows, many days could have passed. Except that he doesn't feel particularly thirsty or hungry, so probably not that long. What he does feel is drained. He has thought about getting up to find someone a couple times, but he just hasn't. He hasn't left Amaranth yet either, even though there are times when he's not sure why he's staying. His waking hours have been filled with alternating anger and sorrow. It would have to be better if he were in a place that didn't have so many painful memories, wouldn't it? But still, he hasn't moved, curled up near the middle of the clearing inside the stones. Not hiding, but definitely not advertising his whereabouts.
She's not entirely sure how, but Paoro's words.. her 'commission' of sorts.. somehow seemed to energize her past the sorrowful apathy that had kept her in the wildflowers. Nayeli has been looking for Kein for a few hours now, with Paoro's words for him stuck in her head. Potential chieftain. It's a very strange and thrilling thought to realize that it's /her/ choice to choose a Chieftain. It's not so much whether or not Kein will accept. It's the realization that she could choose anyone. And now as the sun is setting, Nayeli is arriving at the stone formations, looking at the long shadows cast and wondering why Kein would be here. She's searching Amaranth bit-by-bit, but doubts that her friend will be here. Regardless, however, she's going to be thorough in her search.
Kein is awake now, but it might be hard to tell from any distance. His head is down on the ground, and he's just looking a few feet in front of him. He's not really seeing the ground, either. He's not seeing much of anything, thugh his eyes are open, as he is fully engrossed in his thoughts, even as formless as they are right now. He can hear someone approaching, but the sounds are slow to intrude upon his consciousness, so he doesn't move.
And it's with a lot of surprise that Nayeli sees the other adolescent up ahead. This wasn't where she was expecting to find him... and yet he's here. She feels her spirits sink at noticing how devastated he looks. Yes, she's still grieving as well, but she's also had encouragement given to her by the shamaness. Purpose and future will go a long way toward helping one overcome sorrow. That's one thing Nayeli is hoping that Kein will experience as well. She lowers her head as she continues padding toward him. If he doesn't speak, then she won't either; her intentions now are just to make him aware of her presence as she moves to lie down against him.
Even once Kein becomes aware that another cougar is approaching him, he doesn't really know who or why. If someone loyal to Chesmu were to attack him right now, he would be caught entirely off-guard, and the chances he'd fare well are very slim. With this in mind, it isn't until Nayeli actually touches him when she lies down that Kein moves, and then his head snaps up suddenly to look at her. Before he can grow tense, though, he recognizes who it is, as much by her scent as by the the sight of her, and though he continues to look at her, the rest of his body seems weak. Nayeli. A large part of him had expected never to see her again. The reasons for that are numerous, but the fact that she is /here/, and actually touching him, gives him more hope than anything has since they encountered his mother's body. Not everything is lost. Most things, perhaps, but not everything. He wishes he could purr or even just speak to let her know he wants her there, after his sudden movement, but he /can't/, and after a moment, he just tries to press his head against her shoulder, fighting against the tears that sprung up the moment he saw her.
Nayeli is feeling tears welling up as well, due mostly to just seeing Kein so depressed as well as his reaction to seeing her. As her friend presses against her shoulder, she tilts her head down to rub against the top of his head. "You're all I have left, Kein," she whispers into his ear. Yes, she still has her grandmother and siblings, but.. she doesn't share the close bond with them that she has with Kein. And yet, Kein isn't /family/, but.. he's still close, nonetheless. Her best friend. She would have come to find him even if Paoro had never said a word to her about Matrons and Chieftains and all of that.
It takes Kein a moment to feel like he has a modicum of control over himself, but he hears when Nayeli says. All of his fears that she might never want him near her again are removed, and he is relieved. That helps him to keep himself from crying and to find his voice again, though it is rough when he finally speaks, and muffled by the fact that he barely moves his head at all. "I'm so sorry, Nayeli." For /her/ loss. For the role his family played in it. For leading her to witness her father's execution.
Nayeli smiles through her tears, rocking very slightly back and forth against her friend. "So am I," she whispers. For everything. Kein's mother was raped and murdered by her father. That's a heavy weight that she's going to have to carry for the rest of her life. Her own parents are dead, but it's not as though /Maulisho/ was responsible for killing them. She's going to miss them terribly, but in one sense, it's a relieved sense of closure in the case of her father. If he had lost his mind enough to do this much damage, then surely he's in a better state right now. No more madness to ruin his mind and his life. Or anyone else's lives, for that matter.
Kein has nothing else to say, right now. What else matters? He has lost his direction, he doesn't know what to do, but Nayeli is back. That's what matters, right now, and he is content to just lie by her, to breath in her scent and know that what has happened between their parents has not ruined their relationship. That, eventually, they will be able to move on from this, even if it isn't right now.
This is going to be difficult: trying to figure out when the best time to talk to Kein about the future leadership of Amaranth. Paoro didn't really come right out and say that their decision was urgent, but it doesn't take an enormous amount of intelligence to realize that the tribe needs someone to pull Amaranth out of its current state of shock and despair. Perhaps they should wait until tomorrow? Nayeli wonders if Paoro would mind them holding off on discussing this... or maybe it'll be easier to determine when a simple question. "Are you.. going to be okay?" she asks hesitantly, voice still barely a whisper in Kein's ear.
Even after what Chesmu did to him, he was capable of pretending that he could recover from anything with little effort. This, though... It takes him a moment to answer. He still feels overwhelming despair when he thinks of his mother, of everything, but... Ever since Nayeli arrived, has has been able to put that out of his mind. It has only been a few minutes, but it's something, right? One small step to the time when he will, eventually, be okay. Slowly, he pulls his head away from her, then nods. It might not be right now, or even within the foreseeable future, but he will be okay.
And as her eyes meet those of her friend, Nayeli sees enough strength in them to know that now is the time. There is grief, as would be expected, but she knows that it's not the paralyzing grief that would require this talk to be postponed. She gently presses her nose against Kein's, and murmurs softly, "Paoro talked to me earlier this morning." There's a lot that can be inferred from that statement. Paoro /talked/ to her.. not just encouraged.
Kein has entirely forgotten about the reason why Paoro summoned them here. For all he knows, his mother /was/ the reason. He has had neither the time nor the mental capacity to realize that the two events were unrelated. Something in the way Nayeli says what she does, though, tells Kein that this was not some normal talk, and he takes a deep breath, not certain he wants to know what Paoro and Nayeli talked about. Granted, nothing in Nayeli's tone suggests that whatever they talked about was bad, but Kein still feels a little reluctance about continuing this doubtlessly serious conversation, reluctance that he tries hard to keep out of his tone when he speaks. "About...?" His voice will probably be hoarse for a few more days, but it does not sound absolutely horrible. Just a little rougher than usual.
"Amaranth needs us," Nayeli begins, trying to inject confidence into her voice. It's not easy; if anything, her voice is nearly as rough as Kein's. She's spent many hours crying over what has happened. She's anticipating spending many more hours crying as well. There's just no easy way to deal with the sudden death of both parents, especially when one killed the other and then is executed right before her eyes. But she knows that her words to Kein are true for both of them. Paoro wouldn't have spoken to her so soon after the tragedy if it weren't important. "Paoro told me that.. the spirits have told her that Yuma is not to remain as Chieftain. She said that.. I'm supposed to be the new Matron." It still seems so odd to hear herself saying that. Her as Matron.
This was not what Kein expected. He didn't really expect anything, but /this/... Of course, now that it has been said, he realizes he probably should have expected it. With everything that Chesmu said, implying that Kein would soon be Cheiftain... If the reason Paoro summoned them back was to ask Nayeli to be Matron... Well, he and Nayeli had gone off together to form their own territory, so of course it makes sense that everyone in Amaranth would have assumed he'd be Nayeli's choice as Cheiftain. He is, isn't he? She did say that Amaranth needs /them/, not just her. Despite everything that Chesmu said, though, Kein hadn't even begun to think about it, to recognize it as a possibility. He would have thought, after he gave up the last opportunity what seems like a lifetime ago, even if it has only been days, and left the territory, that it would never come again, but... Here it is, and Kein has to wonder about much, not least of which is Nayeli's statement that the spirits told Paoro that Nayeli was to be Matron. If that's true, and this is what they're /meant/ to do... Then was it what he was supposed to do last time? The thought isn't comforting, because if being Chieftain is his fate... Then who is to say that some part of what happened to his mother, some part of the reason why Chesmu murdered her, isn't because the spirits decided to punish him for failing to do what was expected of him in the first place? If that's true... Then the punishment will last the rest of his life. He will never stop missing his mother... And he will never stop blaming himself for her death. /If/ it's true. Though he is far from being the most spiritually active cougar, he will have to spend a lot of time in the future thinking and praying about this. Assuming it's true, though... Regardless of what he feels, would he dare try to fight against becoming Chieftain now? If it is true, and he does try to resist it... Would another one of the cougars he cares about meet a similar end as his mother? He can't let that happen, but the hardest truth about it is, it's not his choice. It's Nayeli's, and while he would like to believe, from her tone and words, that she would accept the position... He has to know for certain. He takes a deep breath before finally trying to speak, but it catches in his throat, forcing him to release it and take a shallower breath before asking, a little more weakly than he would like, "Do you believe her? Are... Are you going to be Matron?"
Is she going to be Matron? That's the single most important decision she'll ever have to make, isn't it? Of course, one might question whether or not her decision of who to ask to be her Chieftain is equally as profound, but to Nayeli, it's hardly a decision at all. There is no other cougar she'd even remotely consider, other than Kein. The decision will have to be his--whether or not to accept her request. And this, of course, is assuming whether or not she'll decide to be Matron in the first place. There are so many reasons why she could say no. Her own weaknesses. The fact that she's had no training or preparation. How is she supposed to lead as Matron when she doesn't even know /how/? It's one thing to grow up as the daughter of a Matron.. but with everyone fully expecting Misae to take over for Ayashe, how was Nayeli supposed to know she should prepare for such a position? Another reason: her own brother is the current Chieftain. Would he step down? /Should/ he step down? Yes, Nayeli understands the importance of the female line, but.. can't there be exceptions? Nevertheless, the girl knows that it ultimately is beyond her control. There is only one reason for her to say yes, and that is because her grandmother, the former Matron and now shamaness, said that she believed that Nayeli could do this. That she was strong enough, that the spirits were behind this, and that Paoro was confident that she was the right cougaress to lead them. If for no other reason than that, Nayeli has decided that she /is/ going to continue the family tradition. The legacy, as it were. "Yes, I am," she answers simply. "But.. I can't do it alone." She takes a deep breath, feeling a thrill at what she's about to ask. "I.. I /need/ you. As my.. Chieftain." That one implied question, for Nayeli, defines their relationship and friendship more than anything else she could ever say or do.
Even if it weren't for his current thoughts, Kein would do anything to support Nayeli. If he had no suspicions there there might be serious consequences if he were to turn her down, he would still never do it. Because of that suspicion, though, he is deeply relieved when she says what she does, and it shows. It allows him to push those thoughts out of his head, to be dealt with later, and he leans his head against her before he answers, "I will always be here for you, Nayeli." For /her/. That is why he is doing this... But he has no delusions about what all this will entail. "For you, and for the tribe." Because, since they are going to do this... The tribe will have to be their main concern from now on, and he wants her to know that he knows that, that despite everything he said the day they confronted Chesmu, he would not do anything to harm, or even to neglect, Amaranth.
He didn't exactly answer her question. But then again, she didn't exactly /ask/ her question. His reassurance of him always being here could very easily be said and meant without any thought, desire, or agreement to be the new Amaranth Chieftain. Nayeli sighs inwardly; she really didn't want to have to ask this as directly as it seems she'll need to. It's going to be awkward, for sure, and there's always the possibility that he'll say no. But.. it needs to be done. "The tribe needs a strong Chieftain, and one who can.." She feels herself flushing slightly. "..keep the bloodline strong through the Matron." Okay, so maybe she /did/ learn something from listening to Misae's lessons about Amaranth heritage. "Would you.. be that Chieftain?" She takes a deep breath. "/My/ Chieftain?"
Kein meant what he said as acceptance of that position, and so he is slightly confused when she openly asks. Confused or not, though, he does not take long to answer, does not want to give her any time to worry about whether he'll say yes. "Of course I will." How could she ever doubt that he would, after all they've been through together? After speaking, he nuzzles against her, almost forcefully.
And once again, Nayeli is crying. But this time it's not sorrow over what's happened. It's not over the rejection she was afraid might happen. Her tears accompany a smile, and this because she's happy. She feels herself going somewhat limp, though perhaps pressing back against her friend's nuzzling. "I'm scared," she whispers, feeling as though she's echoing what she told Paoro earlier. It's all so new and frightening and overwhelming, but she's going to trust Paoro's judgment on this. Not to mention, of course, that her being scared is yet another reason for why she needs Kein more than ever. Someone to give her confidence and support and protection.
She might be scared, but for the first time since he told himself, last night, that the worst is over, Kein actually believes it. The road ahead of them will have plenty of challenges, and it probably won't be easy, but they will be okay, and it will get easier. He nudges her with his nose as he finishes nuzzling her and says, simply, "Everything will work out. I promise." He is saying it to try to reassure her, yes, but he honestly means it, too.
Everything /will/ work out. As has happened before, Nayeli finds herself gaining confidence from Kein's words. She's not even sure what it is--his tone, perhaps?--but regardless, she feels much more encouraged. "I know," she replies, nosing back at him. They'll have a difficult future ahead of them, no doubt, but she knows that together, they'll manage to succeed. They have to, don't they? Leaders of Amaranth... they don't really have any choice now. They /have/ to succeed.
Despite everything Kein knows they will be facing, with the relief he feels and the new feeling that things will get better, exhaustion /really/ hits him. Hopefully this time, he can sleep for more than just a couple minutes, and his sleep won't be plagued by nightmares. His head drops slightly, then he forces himself to lift it. "You'll sleep here tonight, right?" He doesn't expect her to say no. It's more to tell her that he is realizing he won't be able to stay awake much longer.
"Unless you don't want me to, I'm /always/ going to sleep by your side." This time, her smile doesn't have any tears with it. Only genuine happiness at being able to say that. She scoots a little closer, to where she's able to rest her head down not only on her own forepaws, but against one of Kein's, too. If it had been a perfect day, which it certainly hadn't been, she might even be purring now. But with all the emotional stress and trauma, it might be a while yet before any purring ever happens again. It's a bittersweet happiness now, at best. They're only taking over leadership because three parents were brutally killed.
Kein lays his head back down. Like Nayeli, he would be unable to bring himself to purr, but he does feel better than he has since they returned, and it is only moments before he drifts off into a deep sleep, aided by how little he has actually slept in the past day and how worn all of the emotional trauma has left him.